‽‽‽ -IntErrObAng- ‽‽‽

Alah Bisa Tegal Binasa?

2011-10-19T13:42:00.001+02:00

Bila aku buat benda yang sama selalu, ia jadi kebiasaan. Kebiasaan ini bagus, amat baik untuk menambah kualiti dan keberkesanan suatu pekerjaan. Kerja jadi cepat bila sudah biasa, dan yang susah pun jadi mudah bila sudah biasa.

Tapi kebiasaan ini mengubah. Dulu aku malu-malu hendak berbicara dengan pesakit. Dengan lidah Melayu ini mahu mengungkap kata pun sering kali salah. Bunyi pelik, kadang-kadang mat-mat dan minah-minah saleh ini tak faham. walaupun aku faham jek. Tapi dengan selalu buat ia jadi kebiasaan, aku lebih yakin, lebih tenang. Tapi ini perubahan yang bagus dengan adanya kebiasaan.

Yang membimbangkan, ialah kebiasaan yang membawa kebinasaan. Dulu bila aku lihat mayat aku teringat mati. Bila lihat orang sakit aku teringat nikmat sihat ini. Tapi dengan kebiasaan kesannya makin kurang. Alah bisa tegal biasa, kata orang. Tapi aku bimbang kerana keteringatan kepada mati dan mengingati nikmatnya sihat ini penting.

Lalu aku berfikir-fikir. Apa lagi ya? Kebiasaan yang membinasakan? Lihat sahaja sekelilingmu!

Surat khabar yang asyik dijadikan lapik untuk makan lama-kelamaan akan merasa dirinya sebagai lapik dan bukan surat khabar. Bila sesuatu jadi biasa rasa bersalah hilang. Dalam membuat sesuatu yang salah, dan dalam membuat perkara betul dngan cara yang salah. So, kalau terbuat salah sekali, cepat-cepat la berhenti. Memang bukan mudah, tapi cubalah.

Dan kebiasaan juga dalam dunia pelik ini, perkara yang umum tahu benar, bila diluah mampu mengundang maki. Biarlah, semoga dengan usaha ini, akan ada orang yang juga berusaha membantu aku, bila aku tenggelam dalam perangkap kebiasaan. Semoga hadirnya hati dan akal dalam setiap perbuatan kita, menjadikan rutin dan kebiasaan itu lebih berkualiti dan dihayati.

(One of) My Love Story

2011-10-07T08:28:00.000+02:00

It started out small,
A mere fleck in a dark hall,
At that time you seemed so far away,
Unreachable, unapproachable, untouchable.

Then the fleck grew larger,
As days went by as life becomes harder,
I had to decide one way or another,
Do I commit, or let it go forever.

A few years passed and I am still here,
The fleck is now a blazing fire,
I am so into you, that I am sure,
Until the end, I shall be here.

Although at times you are cruel to me,
Draining every bit that I have in me,
Energy, time, my heart and soul,
Sometimes I felt like turning away and go.

You forced me to stay awake at night,
You made my head feel like exploding sometimes,
At times you made me feel sickly and ill,
Tears and sweats and aching back,

But in the end, it was I,
Who chose to and not turn away,
But the satisfaction from you,
indescribable.

I know I'm still of of your youngest lover,
Many more has been, and many still is,
We pledge our time, energy and life,
For the lives of others, if Allah wills it.

-to Medicine, from the love of your life~

Hidup masing2 kan?

2011-10-06T09:26:00.000+02:00

Pelik kadang2 tanpa segan silu,
aku "announce" kat semua orang benda salah yang aku buat,
dan orang dan aku sendiri akan saling komen dan berborak pasal tu,
macam perkara biasa,
"or" orang lain akan buat tak tau,
walaupun terang2 aku buat salah,
mungkin kata mereka dan kata aku,
hidup masing2, pandai2lah...

Kadang2 pula bila aku buat benda baik dan betul,
dan aku sure benda tu baik dan betul,
tapi pula aku menyorok2 dari orang,
dan orang pon menyorok2 dari aku,
kemudian aku dan orang lain juga bercakap jika tahu,
dengan nada sinis,
mungkin bagi aku dan sesetengah orang,
siapa yang buat baik mesti hipokrit,
tapi hidup masing2 kan? pandai2lah...

oh, aku pun pernah dipanggil hipokrit,
dan aku juga pernah panggil orang lain hipokrit,
yang pada hakikatnya,
tiada manusia tahu isi hati yang lain,
dan hanya yang menilai itu, jika seorang manusia,
hanyalah nilaian manusia sahaja.

maka rugilah saya,
jika orang ajak buat baik,
saya tolak,
dan terang2an saya hebahkan,
yang saya bukan orang baik,
dan saya tak mahu diajak buat benda baik.

jangan nanti sampai satu masa,
Allah tak hantar dah orang2 begini untuk ajak aku buat baik,
sebab dah banyak kali Allah hantar,
dan buka peluang untuk aku berubah dan bertambah baik,
tapi aku buat deeek je,
aku buat tak tau,
aku buat suka aku, hidup masing2 kan?

Namun pesan nabi: “Tidak beriman seorang daripada kamu sehingga dia mengasihi saudaranya seperti mana dia mengasihi dirinya sendiri.”

Sahih Al-Bukhari: 12

apa pon,

semua orang ada naluri untuk buat baik,

dan jadi baik,

cuma mungkin dah terlalu biasa,

atau mungkin belum sampai seru,

bak kata orang selalu,

cuma takut2,

mati sampai dulu sebelum seru.

Epal di jalanan

2011-09-15T09:15:00.001+02:00

Test drive blogger apps iOS. Tgk la gamba epal nih...

p/s: atas tu bukan langit gelap, tapi jari gelap... haha.

Saat Ini.

2011-08-26T20:10:00.001+02:00

Aku duduk termenung...

Sengaja kubiarkan fikiran ini melayang jauh-jauh. Ke masa hadapan... Yang kadang terasa dekat amat, dan kali lain pula seakan cuma mimpi yang tak tergapai. Aku mahu jadi orang tersohor, bergaji paling kurang lima angka, berumahkan istana idaman berkereta bagak mendabik dada berjalan di tengak awam. Kerana pentingnya aku seorang insan yang sangat signifikan dalam masyarakat. Muka hadapan akhbar saban hari seperti album gambar peribadiku.

Lalu fikiran ini membuat aku gentar. Bagaimana jika berlaku sesuatu di tengah jalan, tak terduga tak bertanda. Muncul menghancur cita, merobek mimpi-mimpi indah masa yang bakal. Wah, menarik! Aku takut kehilangan perkara yang belum pasti pun kan kukecap. WAJARKAH AKU MENCARI-CARI BERMIMPI KESENANGAN AKAN DATANG?

Boleh jadi saja satu apapun yang kuangan-angankan tak jadi milikku. Mungkin sebelum langsung ketermenungan ini jantungku tak lagi berdegup.

Aku duduk termenung mengenang kisah silam. Salah silapku yang tak terkira. Ratusan ribu hati yang terguris terluka dek pancungan lidah tanpa panduan akal. Berapa tubuh yang menderita penangan kaki tanganku yang tak mengenal ihsan bila merah segalanya dek api marah dendam iri hati tak berkesudahan. Siapalah aku untuk merubah semua ini. Layakkah aku bergelar insan baik-baik yang kadang-kadang hilang muncul didepan belakangku. Mungkinkah keinginan ini untuk berubah hanya alasan sekali lagi mainan mindaku sendiri untuk memperbodohkan diri ini yang selalu tertipu dengan air mata palsu. Esok akan kubuat lagi. MANA AKHIRNYA? Perubahan itu wujudkah dan bolehkah?

Lalu kusedar masa ini detik ini ketika ini, ini saja yang mampu kukerah kudratku untuk bertindak. Kuarah mindaku untuk berfikir. Kudesak hatiku untuk sabar dan ikhlas. Hati dan diri liar ini jika tidak kuikat dengan panduan lembaran Sang Pencipta, nescaya akan teruuuussss jauh, dan jauh. Yang lalu usah dikenang berlebih-lebihan. Yang bakal tiba usah dirisau melampau-lampau. Sehingga hilang sedar jalan bengkok yang kulalui ini tersasar dari kebenaran kehendak kemahuan kehidupan sebenar. Mana jalannya? Mana jalan-Nya?

Keluarga, rakan, sahabat seperjuangan. Selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin. Dari diri yang lemah ini semoga kita temui jalan-Nya.

What's Life to You?

2011-08-24T12:51:00.000+02:00

Life as I see it, is a chain of events arranged to create a story. A story that can be remembered or looked backed upon, but can never be relived or repeated. The flow just moves on and on without me being able to control what happens and which way it'll go. Well, maybe I do have a say to a certain extend on which route it takes and decisions that I make, but still most of them are out of my control.

Even the decisions that I made, was made without really knowing what will happen afterwards. The future will just come as it may. There're just too many uncertainties to look at it from afar and be a mastermind of my own life and control the outcomes to my liking. It just won't happen. Well that's what I think.

How about you?

Revolusion

2011-07-28T06:07:00.000+02:00

No, this post a not about overthrowing government, or creating chaos, or upholding a new belief or idea. This post is about Ramadhan Revolution. A journey to revolutionise our mind and body. InsyaAllah in a few days the month of Ramadhan is starting. Are we ready? Am I ready? Will this year be different from the past years? Is Ramadhan this time around going to be filled with beneficial activities to rejuvenate our minds and souls? To purify our hearts?

Pray to Allah that we will be able to meet the month of Ramadhan and make full use of its presence. As a muslim, what other time there is to change for the better? When everyone around you will strive to maximise the use of time for ibadah and purifying our hearts?

Have you ever thought of changing a bad habit that you have? Now is the time.

Don't you think it's time to move the Quran from the shelves to our tongue and hearts? Now is the time.

Have you been longing to stop excessively waste time on games, computers, hanging out, comics, shopping, etc? Now is the time.

Are you a smoker? You know what I'm about to say... Now is the time.

Want to lose a few kilos? Now is the time.

Whatever we want to do to improve ourselves... NOW IS THE TIME. It may not be easy, but there's no harm in trying. For a muslim should always strive to be better :).

But in the end. The success in Ramadhan does not only depends on what we are able to do and perform during the month, but how we are able to change what we do in the other 11 months afterwards, before the coming of the next Ramadhan (insyaAllah).

May Allah gives us strength to achieve what we want from this month which is full of barakah.

End of Year 3

2011-06-15T01:56:00.002+02:00

Alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah...
The highest and enormous praise to Allah, as He is the master of all sevants and without Him and His mercy I would certainly not be here where I am today, and you will not be there in front of the computer reading this humble post.

Yesterday the results of my final exams for my 3rd year of Medicine came out, and I passed my exams. Finishing this project I'm currently working on will mark the end of this chapter of my life as a 3rd year medical student in Leeds.

Congratulations to all who managed to achieve what they intended to get, who passed and also those who tried their best but Allah had different plans for them, and tests them more. Hopefully in whichever situation we are in, we will manage to get the best out of it, as the prophet Muhammad SAW said;

“Sangat mengagumkan kepada seorang mukmin, sebab segala keadaannya untuk ia sangat baik, dan tidak mungkin terjadi demikian kecuali bagi seorang mukmin: jika mendapat nikmat ia bersyukur, maka syukur itu sangat baik baginya dan bila menderita kesusahan ia bersabar, maka sabar itu lebih baik baginya.” (Hadis riwayat Muslim)

Why are you not choosing?

2011-06-06T09:17:00.003+02:00

Rasulullah SAW said:
"Each of you is leader and every one of you will be asked about his leadership. Imam is a leader and will be asked about his leadership, husband is a leader and will be asked about his leadership, women leaders in her home and will be asked about hes leadership, those with wealth is the leader of the property entrusted to him and he will be asked about his leadership. Each of you is leader and you will be asked about your leadership. " (Hadis Riwayat al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Daud, al-Tirmizi dan Ahmad)

I'm 23. The 'included' age (in term of voting in Malaysia). Where my views matter in the choosing of leaders of Malaysia. The power to vote is entrusted upon my shoulder and thousands other peers. I am excited and looking forward to actually vote if I have the chance to. It is a big responsibility to vote. Especially when you vote with awareness of the actual issues and awareness of what each sides have to offer to the country, not just by taking in what the media asks you to vote, or what your parents are voting. We are given the right to do it, because we are deemed to have the capacity to weigh up all the pros and cons, and really make an "informed consent" on who should be leading our belover country.

No this post is not intended to be in favour of any particular political party. As I believe there are enough blogs out there to read about those kind of things, where is even sometimes gets so messy that I can't even comprehend what the actually have in mind. Or it might just be me who thought that writers should have something, an idea of some sort to share with the readers and not merely degrading others in their writings. Sadly it's not always the case.

It strikes me that being in the allowed age to vote, some of my peers actually said that they are not going to register as voters. Why? I really don't get it. This is not meant for any particular person if you think I'm talking about someone specific. Nope, this is a general disscussion.

->some say there's no point in doing so. I say there are thousands if not millions of points to do so. Like it or not the government is the conductor who orchestrate most, if not all that happens around you. From the prices to the policies on education, healthcare, foreign relation, your freedom, rights, etc.

->some say politic's 'dirty', so choosing to be 'clean' therefore plies having to do anything with it, be it to the merest voting. I say politics is just the system put into place. The perception or facade of a system is based on the people in it, and on how they choose to play their roles in it. Not having your say just mean that you don't even get a say on who plays on the field. So stop complaining of it being dirty if you can't even care enough to open your mouth and name those who can actually try and 'clean' it.

->some say they couldn't care less. Well i think they should. You are a chip of the massive component in the country. who can choose. So you should choose what is best, with an informed choice. And I'm not saying it is only 1 side that is exclusively and undoubtedly right. YOU are right, and whoever you choose based on what you believe and what you see.

but after it ends, and after the election and the leaders are named. Do your best to be part of the country, not part of the party that you rooted for. At the end of the day, it is still our beloved country that needs to move forward and achieve developments, whoever is in the cockpit.

AND, what I say is just what I believe, please do not be offended. You can offer your thoughts if you don't agree with me, and we can agree to disagree but still smile at each others. And my views may seem naive~ well I'm 23. You should get my entry level insights...

3rd Placement for 3rd Year Finish

2011-03-16T17:32:00.002+01:00

oh well, oh well... it felt like it was just not long ago that I entered medical school. Now I'm already approaching the end of my 3rd year.~ time sure flies.

Tomorrow's the final day of my placement in surgery at Harrogate District Hospital. Next come the Practice OSCE, then another 5 weeks placement (with Easter holiday in the middle), then it's the final OSCE and Integrated exam (which I have yet to start revising for).

Meanwhile, there's 2 essays to finish up by the end of this month.
That's what's going on with me, thanks for listening dear diary. LOL

oh, this is a neverending journey that I signed up for! Sometimes it just sucked me dry that can't even bother to smile when I arrive home. Well that's life for you, you choose a path and get on with it.

flowers!

2011-03-15T08:49:00.001+01:00

make my day. put smile on my face. chase away the sadness. chase away the hate.

now that's an optimistic sight. after the months of leafless trees and dull, birdless sky. the sun is staying for a tad longer every day...

make my day, make my day.

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What to do on the Roads. MSIA vs UK :)

2011-03-05T09:05:00.008+01:00

Readers, with this post I intend to show how imperative it is to act differently on the same situation in different parts of the world...

1) Letting pedestrians to cross...

Situation:You see someone trying to cross the road, which has quite a number of car. Just the right number to not cause a traffic jam, but everyone's moving quite fast so the pedestrian trying to cross the road can't get any free opening long enough to cross.

What should you do?

Msia: Act normally. try not to show any sign of guilt. Probably try to make sure the pedestrian cannot run and cross the road in front of your car.
UK: Slow down your vehicle a bit, slowly creating an opening in front of you. Then flash your light towards the pedestrian to say, "cross now, I've made an opening for you". If you're feeling particularly happy on that day, you can smile to the pedestrian as well, (s)he'll probably smile back and you'll both feel a warm feeling inside. :P

2) Giving way...
Situation: When you find yourself in the car at a congested junction due to a faulty traffic light, and you lane is moving while the other lane is stopped waiting for their turn to move.

What should you do?

Msia: DO NOT try to give way for vehicles from the other lanes to move. This will likely result in your lane having to stop and wait almost indefinitely for someone as good-hearted as you to let you lane
UK: DO give way for vehicles from the other lanes to move. This will likely result in everyone taking turns to move between your lane and the other. So the ones who were there earlier can move first, and those who came later can also pass through the junction, but a bit later. A smile or a thank you gesture by showing you palm to the person who's letting you pass is an added bonus.

3) Queueing-up...
Situation: You were coming up to a long queue in front of a traffic light during rush hour.

What should you do?

Msia: Try to look for opening on the side of the queue. And think about yourself and how important it is for you to be home in time. Go to the opening and wait there, making and obliviously innocent face. If there's someone else with you, you might consider talking to them so that you won't have any possibility to get eye contact with the person in the queue that you are trying to cut in front of.
UK: Go to the end of the queue. Think about yourself and how important it is for you to be home on time. Also think about the others who arrived at the queue earlier and waited for their turn. So you wait for yours as it is the fair thing to do.

4) Traffic congestion...
Situation: The cars are moving slower than snails due to the overwhelming number of vehicles in an absurdly small road. You see a free lane at the side of the road.

What should you do?

Msia: See the free lane as a window of opportunity. It's going to help you move faster. At the same time, there will be less car occupying the road, therefore, less congestion. Although there is almost a certainty that you will cause more congestion in front when you have to cut in front of someone, but it's a price worth taking . Having these twisted reality in mind, now drive your car through the emergency lane at the side, with a good intention that you're doing your part in helping to reduce the congestion. Smiling proudly as you do it :).
UK: See the space at the side of the road as an emergency space saved for anyone who might need to stop. Stay in your lane and wait for your turn. Without anyone trying to cut in further down the lane, the congestion do not a static. And everyone gets a fair amount of time in the traffic jam.

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said :

"On every person's joints or small bones (i.e. fingers and toes), there is sadaqah (charity) every day the sun rises. Doing justice between two people is sadaqah; assisting a man to mount his animal, or lifting up his belongings onto it is sadaqah; a good word is sadaqah; every step you take towards prayer is sadaqah; and removing harmful things from pathways is sadaqah."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Blood and life

2011-01-31T17:14:00.005+01:00

********************************

Today, I managed to draw some blood from a patient. I tried once before, but didn't really go according to plan . I missed the vein somehow, TWICE! Poor lady~ but i apologised profusely, of course and she seemed to be fine with it.

Blood, some people become queezy at the sight of it. Me? I'm, OK I guess. Even before starting medicine I used to look at the needle they stick into my arm to take blood.

Can I interest you readers to ponder on how magnificent the creation of blood is. Seemed like a pretty simple concept, some kind of fluid that runs in some vessels around the body. Imagine if its not fluid... well, even a tiny clot can cause severe consequences. What if it's in the form of gas? I think it won't be suffice to bring all the little bits of things around the body:
oxygen
carbon dioxide
...
ok, I'm gonna stop at that coz it'll take ages to list them all down

In summary, it's a super massive transport system. Where oxygen from the air we breathe are utilise in each and every living cells in the body. Nutrients from things we eat transferred to be used, or stored accordingly. Hormones from all sorts of places goes to the right place where they affect all sorts of things. And all sorts of other stuffs.

At-Tin, (95):4 We have certainly created man in the best of stature;

It's interesting how little bits of things can be an indicator when something's not quite right. I was awed at the number of things that blood can actually tell me about a human, about the organs, and the state of the body.

subhanAllah, these big wonders in little things are so easy to be missed. Come to think of it, this red fluid is so vital to life. Cut of the supply to your brain or heart, and that's it.

If anything, studying medicine has taught me how complex a human body is. How each and every part interacts with each others. Probably some of you guys can already appreciate it without even having to study it or learn about it. Well I didn't, not to the extend that amazes me how an entity this perfect can be made, can be created.

spontaneous? like some people like to think of it. REALLY? There's probably a higher chance of a Blackberry to be 'spontaneously' created than a man to.

give me one of the best creation of a human. iPhone maybe? or spaceships, perhaps? Well I'm not going to start a debate on what is the human's greatest invention. But I intend to pose a question for us all, do you see any of it alive? moving and breathing and have the will of their own?

see how far superior a human is compared to what he can create... and appreciate that everything a human created have a purpose.

then imagine how far the gap, and how minutely inferior a human is to his Creator? Don't you think WE also have a purpose to have been created and given life?

Az-Zariyat, (51): 56. And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.

Al-Baqarah, (2): 30. And, when your Lord said to the angels, "Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority (khalifah)." They said, "Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we declare Your praise and sanctify You?" Allah said, "Indeed, I know that which you do not know."

Those two verse from the Quran show the purpose of a human. And thousands others gives the details of what to do, what to avoid, how to live our lives, and stories to take lessons from. Indeed Quran is a mukjizat, revealed more than a thousand years ago, yet it is still relevant, and will always be relevant. For those seeking the truth, and the true way of life

~how many of men's words have we read... are we just gonna leave GOD's words in the Quran?

Just starting the fun bit of Medicine...

2011-01-18T17:58:00.002+01:00

yeah, I'm a medical student. 3rd year now. starting the fun bits (and the distressing bits also) :-D

despite what others might say, i actually can still find some time to chill. but then, it's probably why i usually kept quiet every time my consultant asks about something... but then i think it happens to everyone. well i certainly hope so.

but there are always others who know the answer to the questions, and all i can do was hmm, i think ive learnt about there some time in the past... oh well.

and its the moment when the consultant picks you from the group and ask you to do an examination in front of the group, that's the precious moment. when your sweat glands suddenly feels the urge to work more. and you're suddenly drench in sweat. well at least that happens to me, all the time.

it's the moments. some moments make you think why in the world am i doing this! some answers the question right back. and in these moments that you truly found the real meaning.

its the moment

when you wear your stethoscope and hear the patient's chest. and you know there's something to hear. but you just can't convince yourself that it's there...

when you say whatever's on your mind. like "the pulse is strong". (then muttered something under your breath which sounds like "i don't really know"). then the consultant checks and say something totally opposite.

when you think you know it by reading the (piles of) books. but when the real thing is in front of you and you we're bombarded with multiple findings due to multiple problems, that's the moment when you reassure yourself that you're a 3rd year, and you shouldn't know anything... I wonder how long that excuse will last for XD

learning is just fun. and when it's medicine. you ought to try your best. but well, the truth is however best is your best it just wont be enough... just dont be so hard on yourself when you dont know something. there's just too many i guess...

its funny how they taught us all the medical jargons before this, and now in hospitals we're asked not to use it when talking to patients...well it's ENGRAVED!!! haha. now i have to cement on them all over again~ haih¬

Angry Bird ... and some lessons beyond~

2011-01-02T12:18:00.002+01:00

I'm quite sure probably some of you guys won't be familiar with this game called Angry Bird. Simple yet addictive, this game can keep people staring at a small phone screens in order to defeat the group of green pigs who stole the birds' eggs.

Just stating some blindingly obvious (and some ridiculous) facts about the game:

-the pigs are GREEN... yeah. green. not really a popular well known colour for pigs.

-the pigs are really advanced in civil engineering and I think some of them are architects. They made their forts with style. They do look more learned than the birds who can only make slingshots (and shoot themselves using it) to attack them.

-the birds, despite being called birds... HAVE NO WINGS. so instead they have to rely on massive slingshots to help them 'fly' towards the pig's fortified hiding places.

-despite being so angry at the pigs who stole their eggs, the white bird can use the eggs as WEAPON...

ok... enough of that :)

from the game, we can see that seeking revenge and being angry can't always solve problems. so I'd like to give a few notes to myself and others. Hopefully we think of these things while we have fun bombarding the pigs' fortresses :D

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, who said : a man said to the prophet : "Counsel me". He said : " Do not become angry". The man repeated [his request] several times, and he said: "Do not become angry ". (Narrated by Bukhari)

Al-Baqarah, 2:153. O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.

2:45 And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah].

Let's change!

Find our time

2010-12-24T14:20:00.004+01:00

life
during it we'll find
hopefully, one time or another
but, maybe not ever
when we get an insight
and see that IT IS TIME

it is time
to stop being the bystanders
ogling on what's whirling around
in front of us
behind us
above us
below us
and just ogle on

do we think it's
to jump in and take control
to not just follow
to see that right is not always the norm
and majority is not always the truth
to KNOW rather than just follow
and take control rather than "go with the flow"

coz at the end of the day
acceptance won't help us
being 'in' isn't really a purpose
hedonism won't last forever
leaving it all as it is won't make us satisfied

if we think that's more to life
than the ticking of a clock
and doing everything as we'd feel like doing it
seconds... eat when we feel we'd like to
hours... play when we feel we'd like to
days... study when we feel we'd like to
weeks... sleep when we fell we'd like to
months... pray when we feel we'd like to
years... start getting serious when we feel we'd like to
well these just won't cut it

find something we want
and work towards it
it'll give us satisfaction
more than we know it

want to lose weight?
reduce our food today
want to stop smoking?
start by reducing by 1 today
want to be more active?
start by 1 set of exercise today
want to be crisp during OSCE?
practice 1 examination today
get involved in OUR lives!

and keep going
and going
and going
until eventually
we got it
or we don't, but we can strut around
knowing that everything there is to be done
are all in the done list

we owe it to ourselves to do something useful
as this life is but once
don't let it ticks away~

find a cause and something to stand up to
coz if we don't stand up for something
we'll fall for just about anything

even though it involves writing a mere blog post beside the kitchen sink :)

...HUMANS HAVE THE ABILITY TO FLY, BUT MANY DECIDE TO CRAWL ANYWAY...

Tabiat tak apa...

2010-12-20T21:01:00.004+01:00

***************************

"mat... aku tengok ko selalu subuh gajah. Jomlah cuba bangun subuh on time"
"hmm, ko sibuk apa? biarlah aku punya amalan. ko jaga ko punya sudah"

***************************

"aku tengok makin ramai orang yang x jaga pergaulan semua. risaulah"
"ala... xpe, yang penting kita tak buat"

***************************

Anda pernah lalui situasi ini? Atau yang sewaktu dengannya?
berhati2lah... jangan terlalu mudah melepaskan tanggungjawab kita sebagai seorang muslim keatas saudara2 muslim yang lain.
kerana sebagai manusia kita sering lupa, dan kita sering mengabaikan tanggungjawab kita, terutama ketika bersendirian. atau dibiarkan sendiri di tengah2 ramai. kerana tiada siapa peduli. kerana jaga tepi kain sendiri. kerana "kubur lain2", kata kita.

semudah itukah kita melepaskan tanggungjawab kita?

firman Allah dalam Al-Quran: Surah: 3.Al-'Imran.
110. Kamu (wahai umat Muhammad) adalah sebaik-baik umat yang dilahirkan bagi (faedah) umat manusia, (kerana) kamu menyuruh berbuat segala perkara yang baik dan melarang daripada segala perkara yang salah (buruk dan keji) serta kamu pula beriman kepada Allah (dengan sebenar-benar iman) dan kalaulah Ahli Kitab (Yahudi dan Nasrani) itu beriman (sebagaimana yang semestinya), tentulah (iman) itu menjadi baik bagi mereka. (Tetapi) di antara mereka ada yang beriman dan kebanyakan mereka orang-orang yang fasik.

Bukan kebiasaan manusia untuk boleh berubah dan berbuat baik bersendirian. Mungkin boleh, jika anda kuat dan tabah. tapi percayalah setiap orang yang menegur itu ambil kisah tentang anda. dan terimalah dan berubahlah, untuk diri kita dan untuk Islam. cubalah ambil kisah tentang orang yang mengambil kisah tentang anda, sebelum mereka patah hati dan membiarkan anda terus dibuai mimpi indah duniawi. Sampai bila agama ini akan terus dikaburi kebenarannya oleh penganut2 yang mengaku Islam dan mahukan syurga Allah, tetapi tidak mahu berusaha kearahnya.

dan bukanlah tulisan ini kerana saya baik dan sempurna. jauh sekali. tetapi dengan harapan bila saya menulis perkara ini saya sendiri akan berusaha melakukannya. dan tegurlah saya jika saya salah. ingatkan saya bila saya terlupa. kejutkan saya bila saya tertidur. cucuklah bila saya terleka. dan insyaAllah saya juga akan cuba lakukan sedaya saya. saya juga manusia... seperti kamu, kamu dan kamu.

jangan biarkan umur kita terus berlalu. syurga bukan untuk yang bersenang-lenang di dunia.

hargailah ia

2010-12-10T17:13:00.003+01:00

Gunakanlah masa yang ada
Supaya diakhir harimu
dan diakhir minggumu
dan diakhir bulanmu
dan diakhir tahunmu
dan diakhir hidupmu
kamu, dan juga aku
tidak tertanya-tanya kemana perginya
masa yang terbiar begitu sahaja

rugilah siapa yang merasakan dirinya sudah cukup sempurna
dan tidak mehu cuba memanfaatkan masa untuk melatih diri dan memperbaiki
biar perlahan, tapi perlukan perubahan
jangan biarkan dirimu kaku
tidak berubah
lengai

kerana diakhir nanti
kamu, dan juga aku
akan ditanya ke arah mana masa kita dipergunakan?

It's how you look at it...

2010-11-30T10:42:00.001+01:00

It's amazing how we think of something affects how it makes us feel. One similar thing can give totally different meaning and cause mood or feeling to arise in someone.

For example, as i was walking to the bus stand to take the bus to the train station... I saw only 2 people there. As I had waited for about half an hour for the bus yesterday, it seems to be good news that there weren't many people waiting, i.e. The bus is running today. Say if I look at it from another point of view... The bus just left and there are now only 2 people waiting... I missed the bus.

Yep. It's how we look at it... Probably not all situations though... But the power of mind can alter everything.

It's what we believe is what really matters in the end.

So choose the one that makes you happy... And choose the righteous one...

Instead of cold miserable snow... Its a chance to play snowball fight and hv some great time with friends.

When we stand in front of a shouting crowd... We can choose to hear them jeering, or cheering for us.

And try not to lose the smile... Those who can't smile would give everything to smile. So those who can... Should do it more often.

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Push off a cliff

2010-11-18T09:25:00.004+01:00

sometimes we feel the need for someone to give you a nudge just to move on...
we wanted so badly to change (for the better, hopefully) but can't seem to take the first step...

ever so often what we need is just to DO it...
if you want something... TAKE it...

for example, we feel the need to take more care of of health...
to do more exercise and eat more healthily...
to cut down the chocolates and sugar and salt and fast food and junk food...
but only to find ourselves going to the shelves we want to avoid during shopping...
again and again...

or, when we feel the need to focus more on our studies...
and the need to shove off the distractions like games, or TV shows...
as long as we're sure that what we want is for the good...
and will pay off one day...

the fact is, in doing anything...
we need will power...
and the first step to using the will power is to acknowledge that it's there...
waiting...
to be awakened and to be utilized...
we are too comfortable in our current situation...
and forgot that there's a lot more to be done...
and there's a lot more to improve...

so just do it...
because in the end...
what really matters is what you achieve...
and in the end...
it's all about self-control, prioritizing, and doing what's right...

so if you'll excuse me, I need to jump off a cliff...
I mean, figuratively :)

and another sketch...

2010-11-16T08:34:00.003+01:00

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Graded Pencils!!!

2010-11-14T10:40:00.001+01:00

i bought graded pencil... just to satisfy my art-junkie urges that comes once in a while... now im thinking about buying an easel and learn to sketch book. hehe. ;) weekends are always so enjoyable...

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sometimes...

2010-11-12T08:58:00.001+01:00

its fun to post something... with nothing on it...

what do you guys think? Comment BELOW! :)

Boneka

2010-11-06T10:07:00.002+01:00

Permulaan penuh keajaiban
Kehidupan penuh persoalan
Pengakhiran belum ketahuan
Terus hidup dengan mencuba
Walau tak tahu apa akhirnya...

Baru start klinikal... Sy tak tahu ape2... memang dah lama perasan... But now i have to do something about it... Hehe...

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The stranger tour

2010-10-27T20:37:00.002+02:00

Allah swt is the longest and the most important relationship in or life.

Why are we making Him a stranger to us?

16:18 four, should you try to count Allah's blessing, you could not count them.

3:160 If Allah should aid you, no one can overcome you; but if He should forsake you, who is there that can aid you after Him? And upon Allah let the believers rely.

9:40 ...when they were in the cave and he said to his companion, "Do not grieve; indeed Allah is with us." And Allah sent down his tranquility upon him and supported him with angels you did not see...

3:31 Say, [O Muhammad], "If you should love Allah, then follow me, [so] Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful."

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Anatomy... done?

2010-10-26T18:20:00.001+02:00

Tribute to my faithful companion...

Today... I had my anatomy exam.which will be the last, as long as I pass it. If I failed, then there will be resit later in summer. But that's not what I wanna talk about.

Its fun when I first started to learn anatomy a few years back.it had always been one of the things that I looked forward to in medicine.now its kinda sad that its all finished. Its amazing how long out took, and I trust what I learned were a mere gist of the real deal.

I really learnt a lot from it.seeing how miraculous human bodies are its a constant remind of the Almighty. Each layers and compartments beautifully arranged, the vessels, small yet having such great importance for humans.every minne glans and cells exists complementing each others making this God's creation a piece of functioning being.

I had a great time...and I'll miss getting the smell of the preservative chemicals all over my clothes. And getting people making wierd faces when I walk near them after a dissection class.I'm gonna miss taking a bath, just to find the smell is still in my hands when I wanted to eat.I'll miss all the other details that might not be appropriate to be written here.

Till the time comes.
Starting clinical teaching soon.
Gonna miss lectures...NOT

Missing
Marvels
Machineguns (WHAT?)

M

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mari belajar

2010-10-24T21:25:00.001+02:00

Exam dah dekat... Mari belajar :-)

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Jalan pergi dan pulang

2010-10-12T02:32:00.003+02:00

Orang selalu kata, hidup ini suatu perjalanan... dan hidup ini suatu perjuangan.

Mungkin dari satu sudut perkataan itu sebagai pemberi semangat. Supaya tidak mudah berputus asa dan terus berusaha. Namun kita perlu sedar kepentingan hala tuju, atau goal dalam kehidupan.

Sedar atau tidak perangkap masa seringkali terkena kepada kita. Setiap kali terasa lapang dan senanga jarang sekali untuk kita ingat masa susah yang bakal tiba nanti, dek kerana kita lengah pada masa sekarang.

Kadang2 terasa senang bila ada teman di perjalanan, yang faham inspirasi dan intipati dasar perjalanan kita. Mungkin kadangkala kita mencari insan tersebut bertahun2 lamanya. Mungkin ada yang seumur hidup mencari tetapi masih tidak terjumpa. Mungkin ada yang di depan mata tetapi masih mencari...

Orang kata, dunia dikejar takkan dapat. Kepuasan dunia yang dikecap pada setiap tahap, tentu akan ada tahap seterusnya yang datang, yang diidamkan. Walau kadangkala kerap juga terjatuh dalam perangkap dunia, mengejar yang fana'. Jangan kita lupa akhirat yang kekal abadi, janji Allah yang pasti.

Jika dinisbahkan tempoh dunia dan tempoh akhirat kelak... selayaknya diletakkan 0:infiniti. Bukan bermakna dunia harus ditinggal sepenuhnya. Ada orang cakap saya suka ambil sesuatu secara extrim. Tapi bukan dalam hal ini. Kerana dalam hal kehidupan dunia itu bersulam juga dengan hal akhirat. Kedua2 perlu selari, seiring. Bukan bitinggal dibuang salah satu.

Cuma prioriti perlu dibetulkan. Kata orang, sambil berjalan... junjunglah akhirat di kepala, dan bimbitlah dunia di tangan. supaya apabila yang dikepala hampir2 jatuh, yang di tangan boleh diletak sekejap untuk perbetulkan yang di kepala. nanti diambil semula untuk sambung berjalan... jangan letak di tempat yang salah :). betulkan prioriti kita...

Namun lumrah manusia selalu terlupa. Tetapi perlu diingat jangan sampai lupa kita jadikan alasan untuk setiap kesalahan, untuk melarikan diri dari rasa tanggungjawab. Kerana Allah memberi kita ikhtiar... maka lakukan sesuatu untuk memperbaiki kekuranganmu. Juga aku akan lakukan yang demikian.

Kerana hanya dengan itu, mungkin ada sedikit harapan mendambar syurga Allah, yang kekal selama lama lama lama lamanya...

semoga saya dan kamu lebih menghargai masa yang terhad, yang bakal menentukan keputusan di masa yang tidak terhad~

3rd year

2010-09-25T19:18:00.003+02:00

It's already the first weekend of 3rd year. What an intimidating week. Partly because of the foreshadowing of the workload that's gonna come suck me dry. Partly because there's gonna be an exam in week 6, which means there's only 4 weeks left, before the exam week.

And partly because I don't think I am adequately ready to go through this academic year. Not mentally, and not emotionally. Why is it so hard to let go of things that I know will only be one of the many factors that are going to drag me down the hole. Why can't I be more objective in determining what's good and bad for me?

If I knew growing up will be this hard, and if I had the chance to, and if it is possible to, I would slow down my growth process. It would be really nice if I can go back to being the ignorant baby I was back then, when everything was right with my world and I would only be bothered when I feel hungry or uncomfortable of the warmth in my diaper.

Back to present time now, due to unforeseen circumstances, one of my housemates will be moving out of the house to another house. Although it is a stone throw away, it still isn't a pleasant thing. Especially when he's been my housemate for a whole year last year. But it has to be done, for the betterment of others.

My housemates this weekend (although it's only the first weekend this academic year) are around UK today. I went to the south somewhere near Southampton, one to Birmingham for an alleged "meeting", and another one is out of my radar. Think I either forgot to ask or it didn't register although I did ask. Probably the latter.

Thing's been wild. As the new house was like a hurricane-torn town when I arrived. Much has been done to "rebuild" it. Now it's waay better.

And, as usual, I've been collecting works to be done over the weekend, but I've been convincing myself (although it definitely untrue) that there are things more worthy to do in my free time. Like, browsing the internet, doing online shopping, and watching the new TV series like Grey's Anatomy and Big Bang Theory, or movies such as The Expandables. Yeah, life's been great. Amongst the whining I do about how LOADSABLYLOAADSS of workload I have. Well, to be perfectly honest, most of the work is going to occupy most of my time in the near future.

Sometimes I loathe people who tries so hard to show others how important and busy they are. Especially the ones who walks in front of others like a saint, but in reality isn't really. It's probably the satisfaction of looking down onto others by making themselves believe that they are a better than the others. Or the probably just like the attention that they get by acting all saintly and the praises that people say about them. Or It might just be the thought that other people seeing or knowing about their "bad" side is just unbearable. It is also possible that it's only me who are not very happy with others who are obviously better than me.

Enough to say I should be ready to take a leap of faith. And hopefully land on a mattress of a heap of cotton or feather. Well, the other outcome isn't that nice...

So, to summarise... I am really not in a stable condition... and I hope the sanity that I'm barely holding on to will stay with me for a while longer... and there's more works to come, so I better be ready. Thanks if you've read what I've been writing spontaneously out of my head. Do pray that the condition I'm in is going to turn for the better :)

cheers,
M

Back for my 3rd year in Leeds~

2010-09-19T05:28:00.002+02:00

Alhamdulillah, after a long journey, Fer and I arrived safely in Leeds (although we almost became frozen food in front of his house, haha). So here's the story :)

We were supposed to board a plane at 10.15am (Malaysian Time). We got the the check-in counter when it was still open... but there seemed to be something amiss. Another friend who checked-in earlier told us the seats were nearly full when he did it online. So we waited. The staff attending the counter told us that the plane was overbooked, and we (Fer and I) can only board if they can find a seat for us (which already seemed unlikely even from the beginning)...

So we waited and waited, until the plane eventually left -_-"

So as usual, when denied boarding, the airplane company would shower us, the supposedly on-air passengers with gifts...

Well, in a way. It's kind of a blessing for us. Although we had to spend more money for the airport parking and wasted some few hours of our time while we waited for them to give the replacement flight and gifts... we got these in return:

- Breakfast voucher at the airport
- Hotel stay (5-star Pan Pac KLIA) until the time for the replacement flight, which was at 2am the next day. Meals included for passengers
- Our replacement flight from Dubai International Airport to Manchester Airport was a business class. So we got to try for the Business class lounge at the airport. We must have looked so lost there... :P
- A voucher for another free flight with the same airline for KL-Manchester~

Alhamdulillah, I guess it was a blessing in disguise~

- I got to meet my grandparents and uncles and aunt and cousin for it :)
- I got to see the first year students' first time flight. Reminds me of myself 2 years back. How everyone was brimming with hopes and expectation and spirit and dreams. It made me secretly vow to work hard for the coming years~

Like someone i know likes to say, "God works in a very mysterious way"...

There's always something to learn, so open our eyes wide when unexpected things happen, there's probably something we don't want to miss happening around us :)

Al-Hadid: 22-23
No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being - indeed that, for Allah, is easy - In order that you not despair over what has eluded you and not exult [in pride] over what He has given you. And Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful -

i'll upload the pics later,k :)

raya and the aftermath.

2010-09-14T18:46:00.004+02:00

On Eid (10th Sep 2010), in the morning during the salam2 session with my mother's side extended family, I got a text, saying...

salam aidilfitri dan maaf zahir batin depd tuan haji h***** dan 4 madunya: m*** k****, a** r******, r***** c** w**, dan f*****.

I have to cencor the names because I don't have their permission to put their names up here. Although I know it's from a friend and he's not yet married (as far as I know), it still made me think for a few seconds... before getting the fact that it's another fancy way of saying Eid Mubarak :). And i think the 4 wives are actors from a certain movie, probably. who knows?

Since I haven't sent any Eid wishes to my friends, I decided to make one. And comes up with this, with my best effort trying to make use of old time Malay:

Bersempena keberdatangan purnama syawal... hamba kepingin mengirim salam kemaafan andai hamba terkhilaf. harap tuan hamba sudi memaafkn kslhn hamba. -M*****-

Then I sent it to the numbers that I have, which is very few, in fact. Coz I got a new number after I went back for summer holiday back in June. And I left the old SIM somewhere...

Anyways, I got some interesting responses:

Two of them were too kind to make their own version of "archaic Malay" texts:

Beta maafkan. Beta juga mohon maaf zahir batin. slmt hr rya aidilftri.. xD

Wa syawal klasik melayu. Bgtu jualah patik duhai tuan hamba. Patik memuhun maaf sgala salah silap. Salam lebaram maaf zaher btin.

Some were kind enough to reply. And others were also kind to smile to the text (well, at least I hope so XD)

3rd day of Syawal, went to a cousin's wedding.

4th day of Syawal, travelled home to Johor and receive the honour of a friend's visiting. But he didn't bring any of his 'madu's, he came with his 2 younger brothers and 2 cousins.

5th day of Syawal. Went beraya to 9 houses (pari, izhar, nad, shakan, atip, haziq bakar, nado, yus, pjord, xde yg termiss kan? :P). with around 30 friends from SAKTI~

*************************************************************************

hmm... pejam celik pejam celik... tinggal 3 hari sblm pulang ke Leeds, bumi penjajah. Juga bumi tempatku menimba ilmu, secara formal. hampir 3 bulan di rumah. sebulan penuh Ramadhan di rumah...

mungkin ada baiknya kita tanya kembali diri kita, dalam sibuk2 menziarahi keluarga dan rakan2. apa kesan ramadhan pada kita...

-masihkah kita mementingkan diri dengan membuat extra lane ketika jalan sibuk dipenuhi kereta?
-mampukah menahan kehendak untuk makan berlebihan setelah sebulan berpuasa menahan dan mengawal nafsu makan?
-adakah berbeza tahap ibadah dan perhambaan diri kita pada Allah setelah menjalani latihan meningkatkan amal selama sebulan?
-adakah semakin cepat hati berbaik sangka walau dalam keadaan yang kelihatan seperti sebaliknya?
-berjayakah kita mengikis tabiat2 yg kurang elok spt merokok dan membuang masa?

(sorry for the long pictureless post. I'll upload it later when I can grab hold of them XD)

7 September

2010-09-07T18:32:00.002+02:00

***

2008, must be before i went to leeds in september~

"Munzir nanti, kat sane tu, jangan lupe pasal ilmu2 agama sekali. buat la hafazan dan belajar apa yang patut. nanti dah habis belajar, lagi xde masa. kalau nak tunggu habis belajar, kemudian tunggu kerja, tunggu berkeluarga, sampai bila2 nnti akan tertinggal pasal akhirat. kita nih hidup ada tujuan yang lebih besar," lebih kurang ujar ayah. bersahaja, tetapi penuh bermakna. aku dah ayah sedang memandu pulang ke rumah, tidak ingat dari mana, pada hari tersebut.

aku mengangguk, tanda faham.

***

15 nov 2008

ayah visited my blog here and he dropped a comment.

"Salam Munzir,
It's nice to c your blog for the 1st time.. at least ayah hope Munzir is coping well. If u have any problem, don't hesitate to email to ayah or mama, we try to assist in watever way we can.
If Munzir happen to go to Sheffield, ayah wonder whether the Islamic Centre is still at No. 10, Severn Road, Sheffield. It is here that ayah had spent about a year staying here during my 1st year. So did Prof. Dr. Abd. Rashid (CMU) who stayed here for 3 years.
Lastly, take care and dont 4get to attend any program during holidays to fulfil our obligation towards Dakwah, another obligitory assignment that we always put aside.
Salam sayang from ayah, mama, kakak, abang & Firah di Msia...
Wassalam.
Ayah"

***

11 jan 2009

Ayah passed away. I received the news from a phone call. as I was in Leeds at that time.

***
7 sep 2010

Ayah would've been 52 today. The man i looked up to in life, and the person i will always remember, all the time. insyaAllah, ak akan cuba jadi insan berguna. kerana naluri manusia itu, semua mahukan kebaikan.

cuma kadangkala belum tersentuh hatinya untuk menghargai2 masa2 yang berlalu tanpa henti. pada kadar yang sama. tak kira masa. walau tidur, walau beribadah, walau sedang mabuk dibuai arak dunia, walau gembira bagai baru mendapat durian runtuh, walau sedih dengan hati hancur luluh. masa tetap berlalu...

cuma kadangkala kurang tabahnya, untuk terus menerus mencari jalan ke arah penambahbaikan. yang kadangkala tersentak dek bicara sinis rakan, atau terpesona melihat insan lain "gembira" dengan kelalaian, atau hilang percaya kerna dosa2 lampau yang masih bermain di fikiran. Allah itu Maha Pengampun. cari dan carilah keampunan dan kebaikan, walau 1000 kali kau jatuh, atau tercucuk duri ketika mencari...

saya, dan kamu, tak terlepas dari ujian Allah SWT. smoge Ramadhan yang hampir habis ditempuhi memberi kekuatan untuk kita terus beramal dan berubah kepada yang lebih baik. sebagai orang Islam, kita patut yakin dan percaya segala kesakitan dan kerosakan yang melata di bumi nih ada ubat dan jawapannua pada Islam~

***

selamt hari raya, maaf zahir batin. Eid Mubarak~xyah la letak gamba ye, korang pon dah tengok melambak kat internet :)

selamat mengejar perubahan, now and always~

24 ramadhan...

2010-09-04T14:57:00.002+02:00

hmm... Saje2 try update blog guna phone... Testing2... Hehe

Hari nih buat kuih raya... Utk hari raya... Seperti biasa minggu akhir ramadhan setiap tahun rumah mesti sebuk buat kuih raya... Alhamdulillah, masih sempat tilawah baca al-quran (akhir2 ramadhan nh, xle tinggal, hehe) Memandangkan update pki phone, xleh upload gambar... Keke

2 minggu lagi, dah nk balek ke leeds... Smoga semangat utk belajar melambung tinggi selepas cuti panjang nih, dan smoga menjadi lebih matang dan bertanggungjawab. Hehe...

Yelah, tgk kawan2 skolah dah start bekerja... Terasa diri dah tua. Hehe. Probably its time to leave my childish hobbies behind... Tp sgt best, hehe.

sudah 15 ramadhan... sudah separuhkan pengajianmu?

2010-08-25T05:55:00.002+02:00

tup... tap... tup... tap...
hari ini sudah 15 ramadhan...
mengambang sudah bulan di angkasa gelap...
sudah separuh ramadhan berlalu...

bagaimana amalku?
sudah khatamkah kitab suci al-Quran?
atau sudah 15 juzuk di baca?
atau sudah 1 juzuk?
atau 1 helai kah?
atau sudah 1 ayat dibaca?

bagaimana hatiku?
sudah bersih lembutkah dibelai bulan barakah ini?
boleh berlinangankah sudah air mata yang persis kemarau?
timbulkah titik sayu tatkala teringat dosa2 lampau?
atau masih sama seperti sebelum melangkah ke Ramadhan?
atau makin kurang eloknya?

bagaimana sikapku?
sudah terterapkah sikap selayaknya pada seorang muslim?
atau masih berlari menuju ke arah itu?
atau meniti dengan langkah bayi?
atau terhenti?
atau terkebelakang pula dari dahulunya?

hati ini kuketuk lagi...
lagi dan lagi...
jika syurga Allah mahu dikecapi...
masakan masa terbaik untuk perbaikan dibiar terabai pergi...
tanpa insurans tahun hadapan sempatkah lagi...
barangkali tahun inipun tidak menjenguk ke penghujungnya...

gunakanlah sepenuhnya yang masih berbaki...
untuk mengejar redha dan ampunan Tuhanmu...

Europe spring 2010

2010-08-17T06:11:00.001+02:00

x kuasa membuat post panjang lebar dan susah nak upload gamba... aku pon buat video trus... njoy!

Spring Trip Ep.1 [Linz, Austria]

2010-08-15T00:08:00.011+02:00

Alhamdulillah, with the ample time given By Allah, I, along with some friends went on a trip to 3 [2 of us went to 4] European countries last spring break...

So here's our story...

From London we took a flight [,obviously] to Linz.

It's evident from our faces that everyone was so excited. After long school period, holiday finally comes around! These were taken in front of the airport in Linz. From there, we took a shuttle van to the nearest train stop [I call it a train stop as it doesn't look big enough to be called a station].

On the way, I saw a building, and can't help noticing its resemblance to our beloved medical school building back in Leeds. So, a sensible thing to do is to snap a picture of it :).

The sensible thing to do when we arrived in Linz was to look for our pre-booked accomodation. The not so sensible thing not to have a map to go there... so we went around the area, confused of the quiet surrounding and the unfamiliar ground. Tickets for the tram was quite peculiar, as there are 3 types... MINI. MIDI, and MAXI which have their own number of stops allowed for each.

With the help of a couple, we managed to find the place, YOUTHOTEL at last right before dusk...

The next morning, we had our breakfast (bought from a gas station nearby the night before) and shoot off to the city. We took our luggage along as we're heading to Vienna later that day~

So we went to the city on Linz....

-and took pictures:
some funny ones, of buidings,
of a sleeping friend, of the worst tasting "mineral water" I've ever had,
of breath-taking sceneries,
and of the food we had for lunch.

It was amazing as it was tiring :). We then head to Viienna....
Let's leave that for another day...

Forgive me friends... cause im so lousy

2010-08-13T23:56:00.002+02:00

might just be me, but i never consider myself as being any good at friendship

forgive me friends
for when i see you make mistakes
i chose to keep quiet
i chose to not advice you
as i fear for the friendship
but how wrong was i
true friends do not hesitate to give advice
if that's what's needed to make improvements
although it might cost the very friendship

forgive me friend
for when i make mistakes
i expect you to keep quiet
and burst in anger if you give me advice
although i know that's what i need
although i'm sure i'm better off with it
for this, forgive me

forgive me friends
as i expect you to always be by my side
and always support me in what i do
but i am not always by your side
and often in silence, stab you in the back
for that, please do forgive me

forgive me friends
for i expect you to always tell the truth
as i know that friendship do not grow with lies
but i sometimes do the same
without hesitation, without shame
for that, i beg you to forgive me

forgive me friends
for wanting you to back me in my sad moments
but be by you only on your happy ones
for this, i'm ashamed, and i ask for your forgiveness

with all my flaws
i ask for forgiveness
as i did my best
but my best wasn't good enough
so i wander around
in search for strength
to change to improve, for the better
and i found the source, clear as ever
it is in you friends, that i gain it

**happy fasting~ Ramadhan mode =)

Ramadhan... it's not a month of weakness

2010-08-10T09:59:00.002+02:00

Hai orang-orang yang beriman
diwajibkan atas kamu berpuasa
sebagaimana diwajibkan atas orang-orang sebelum kamu
agar kamu bertakwa (Al Baqarah : 183)

Ramadhan is around the corner. For muslims, this is the most blessed month according to islamic calender. And muslims around the world will be fasting for the whole month, before celebrating Eid ul-Fitr on the first day of the next month, Syawal.

Just a quick reminder, although muslims fast during the days of Ramadhan, history have shown that it is not a weak moments for muslims. Historic events such as the battle of Badr (17 Ramadhan, 2H) and the opening of Makkah (10th Ramadhan, 8H) happened during this blessed month.

So friends, let's all cherish the coming of this blessed month, and make aims to be a better, stronger muslim, a more devoted and steadfast servant to Allah.

May we find strenghts in:
- Performing salah and fasting the best way possible.
- Training ourselves to read the Quran daily.
- Making other organs fast too, from doing sins that are sometimes so sublte, Abstaining our mouths from talking bad about others. Our eyes from looking at inappropriate things, hands..., ears..., legs..., hearts..., bodies...
- Learning to eat sensibly, and healthily.
- For those who smoke, and thinking of stopping. Ramadhan may be the answer to put an end to the habit.
- Repent for our pass sins and try our best to not make the same mistakes again.
- Leaving habits that waste a lot of our time, but is not beneficial.
- Cleaning our hearts from the sickness of envy, ujub, takabbur, and all other negative feelings towards others.

may we succeed in becoming a better person come this Ramadhan, insyaAllah.

sis's wedding pics...

2010-08-04T02:28:00.003+02:00

here is the link to my sis's wedding pics. the ones i managed to upload :)

ok... here's one of my artpiece :-)

2010-07-12T10:52:00.006+02:00

it's not that good. need more practice and time. the picture Idrew it from is below.

*i do not own this one.

HOME =) you can't afford to not love it

2010-07-10T18:47:00.012+02:00

simple tools :). this is just about all i have for now. planning to further add to the family of drawing equipments. thinking of charcoal and wooden pencils, colours, perhaps :)

NEVER had enough time (or, probably enough drive) to pursue this passion of mine. I've been working on polishing my drawing skills. since i have all the free time i want in this holiday, might as well gain something from it. maybe i'll post some later, after i get better at it. now they still hasn't any showable value. haha. to show how enthusiastic i am about this, i even joined a forum for artists (as in people who draw as oppose to people who sing and act)/artist-wannabees, which i'm quite sure will be out of my mind by the time i finish writing this post.

Some of the books i plan to read :). probably i won't finish all of them, but there's no harm in dreaming big...

I'VE been throwing away most of my time playing DotA earlier in the holidays, now i've no more interest whatsoever to play it. it gets pretty boring after a while. so i'm actually picking up books to read =). how cool it that. i've been longing to not have to read book day in and day out during term time, but ended up with books, still, in the holidays @_@

you can just about see the malicious intent in his eyes :)

AND, lastly, Kabu (the notoriously naughty ball of fur) managed to once again help himself to destroy, for the umphteenth of time, another mouse. :). he'd already rendered the Wii sensor useless during my stay at home. very productive now, keep it up "lil' kitty" :).

ok, need to sleeep now :)

Wasiat Abu 'Ubadah

2010-07-04T19:43:00.001+02:00

Sebelum kematiannya Abu ‘Ubaidah berwasiat kepada seluruh prajuritnya:

“Saya berwasiat kepada Anda sekalin. Jika wasiat ini kalian terima dan laksanakan, kalian tidak akan sesat dari jalan yang baik, dan senantiasa berada dalam bahagia.

“Tetaplah menegakkan shalat. Laksanakan puasa Ramadhan. Bayar sedekah (zakat). Tunaikan ibadah haji dan ‘umrah. Hendaklah kalian saling menasihati sesama ka lian. Nasihati pemerintah kalian, jangan dibiarkan mereka tersesat. Dan janganlah kalian tergoda oleh dunia.

Walaupun seseorang bisa berusia panjang sampai senibu tahun, namun akhinnya dia akan menjumpai kematian seperti yang kalian saksikan ini.

“Wassalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh…”

snatched from: http://dakwah.info/buku-tarbiyyah/abu-ubaidah-bin-jarrah-2/

Alhamdulillah

2010-07-02T19:31:00.002+02:00

Syukur kerana Allah permudahkan urusanku dalam pelajaran. InsyaAllah panjang umur aku kan melangkah ke alam tahun 3 di Leeds. Runsing juga memikirkan dugaan dan cabaran yang bakal menyapa. But I chose this road, and I'm willing to be soaked in blood to get through this.

Cuti Summer menjelang tiba~ 3 bulan- tiap kali kusebutkat tempoh cuti ini, secara refleks semua orang akan mengatakan perkara yang sama, "paaanjanggnyeeeee". Iye, memang. aku x pernah nafikan. tetapi kepanjangan cuti ini juga membawa bersama dugaan dan cabaran, bukan sekadar kesenangan dan kerehatan.

I have to face it. we all should face it. time is valueable. we're not kids anymore. masa terluang bukan hanya untuk berehat2 bergurau senda. It will run out, eventually. and the challenge is to make the best out of it. I would really love to look back at the end of this long period of holiday and smile knowing that I spend it well and I spent it wisely. Almost all of my holidays, to date, at the end of it i felt quite regretful not having it spent in the right-ish way. Im taking the time off from UK & uni environment to try and reassess myself. tambah mana yang kurang. kurangkan yang terlebih. betulkan mana yang masih silap. kukuhkan yang sudah betul.

hoping for the best. hoping for a shift of paradigm, hoping to change into a better person... for myself, and for others.

change is hard. but hard is not impossible.

post exam

2010-06-18T18:48:00.004+02:00

hurmm... bile pikir camne kosongnye rase pas abih exam...

ak terpikir betapa ak nih sangat education-based...

bile lepas exam... jadi ilang punca. haha

i need to get a hobby...

selain asyik buang masa, sayang la...

so aku buat pon buat la kek untuk kemba 2 orang housemate...

tp dorang bukan kemba... birthday je same... haha...

first time buat kek cheese... risau gak awal2...

it turned out quite OK i guess :)

Komputer insani

2010-06-03T17:20:00.003+02:00

manusia macam komputer~

ade yang ok, ade yang rosak...

ade jugak yang di tengah2...

kadang2 ok, kadang2 rosak...

kadang2 boleh format... jd ok...

tp bile antivirus gagal menjaga... jd gak tak ok...

kadang2 boleh ok je bertahun2...

sekali pergi tempat lain je... rosak trus... macam manusia juga...

ade yang boleh dapat virus dari komputer lain dalam "network" yang sama...

jadi kena la pilih2 juga jaga dan tgk2kan komputer lain dalam network tu...

dari luar tak nampak beza sangat...

tapi dalam boleh jadi sangat2 beza...

HDnya, RAMnya, Processor-nya, cam hati manusia... juga akal dan fikiran...

kalau mahu, boleh dinaik taraf...

tapi kalau tidak mahu, ketinggalanlah...

namun, lambat tak semestinya tak sesat...

cepat tak semestinya tepat...

perlahan tak semestinya tertahan...

laju tak semestinya tahu...

memang "best" kalau dapat komputer yang elok seumur hidupnya...

tapi memang lumrah untuk dapat virus infection, crash+BSOD, sudden idiopathic death, overheat, rosak sebab kene hempas, air tumpah, dan sebagainya...

bukan kemahuan... tapi ketentuan...

pilihlah yang boleh dipilih, selebihnya serahkan pada tuanmu hai sang komputer...

dan serahlah pada TUHANmu hai sang manusia...

hari ini umur komputer ini bertambah satu...

from another point of view... hidupnya yang tinggal berkurang satu...

selamat hari lahir buatku, semoga pertambahan umur sejajar dengan pertambahan kefahaman dan pengecilan kejahilan...

yang terselit di celah2 kompleksiti sebuah komputer, dan seorang manusia :)

most things are better and easier to be done earlier

2010-03-26T23:28:00.003+01:00

most things are better and easier to be done earlier, but most people choose not to.

dirty dishes, for examples. you can either wash it straight away and avoid any unpleasant smells or tough stains that might be there over time. imagine the dishes are left until mould starts to appear.

another example that i'm sure most of us can identify with is our work, whether it's paper work or homework, or occupational work. leaving them to the last minute results in half-hearted works and imperfections in every aspects. not to mention the lack of sleep that oftenly accompany last-minute works, AKA the-work-that-is-done-on-the-day-before-the-deadline.

or our 5 times obligatory prayers. we do it early, we get more time to perform it properly, we get larger "pahala", and longer period of feeling at ease after doing our duty. but we tend to procrastinate till the the very end of the prayer time. sometimes even exceeds the time just to do other works, or sleep for that matter.

Hakikat agung disebalik surah Al-Asr:

وَالْعَصْرِ
إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ
إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

1. Demi Masa!
2. Sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam kerugian;
3. Kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh dan mereka pula berpesan-pesan dengan kebenaran serta berpesan-pesan dengan sabar.

biarpun selanjut mana waktu pada seluruh zaman dan sepanjang mana kelangsungan hidup manusia pada semua masa, namun di sana hanya ada satu cara dan satu jalan hidup sahaja yang membawa keuntungan dan keselamatan. Itulah cara hidup yang telah dijelaskan sempadan-sempadan dan batu-batu tandanya dalam surah ini. Selain cara hidup ini adalah sia-sia dan rugi belaka. Wallahu'alam. (dipetik dari Tafsir Fi Zilalil Quran)

how ungrateful we are

2010-03-23T21:54:00.002+01:00

Oh, how easy it is to overlook the mountains of goodness God gave us, and to clearly see the few hardships and trials from Him. Ya Allah, make me a thankful servant.

there are 2 things worth remembering; the good deeds people do to you, and the bad things you do to people. And 2 things that ought not be brought up; the bad things people do to you, and the good deeds you do to others.

in numerous occasions we forgot to remember and praise ALLAH, if only once ALLAH "forgets" to provide us the air to breathe from, what would happen to us?

in the state of happiness, measure how grateful you are to Allah, while in grief, be wary of your forgetfulness.

c'est la vie

2010-03-11T09:14:00.008+01:00

If only all it takes is to pop a pill

to pump myself with a powerful will

moving about, not just standing still

come what may, I'll face it with thrills

to see the world as simple as I saw it

to feel safe and happy and not full of "watch it"s

to obtain bliss and keep on having it

then I should, and I will pop it

but as days pass and time goes by

facing new stuffs as they come by

forced to greet the old ones with goodbyes

and learn to embrace it, or i'll won't get by

if I doze off in this lullaby

I will run out of time to amend loose ties

"when the going gets tough, the tough gets going"

The Park Bench

2010-03-08T07:45:00.005+01:00

Found 2 poems with the same title... so i figured is should just put both. then i changed my mind after reading them both, think i'll just put 1 in. the second's too dark and gory, i don't want people to get wrong impressions bout me :D

Beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree.
Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown,
For the world was intent on dragging me down.
And if that weren't enough to ruin my day,
A young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play.
He stood right before me with his head tilted down
And said with great excitement, "Look what I found!"

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight,
With its petals all worn - not enough rain, or too little light.
Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play,
I faked a smile and then shifted away.
But instead of retreating he sat next to my side
And placed the flower to his nose and declared with overacted surprise,
"It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful too.
That's why I picked it; here, it's for you."

The weed before me was dying or dead.
Not vibrant of colors: orange, yellow or red.
But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave.
So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need."
But instead of him placing the flower in my hand,
He held it mid-air without reason or plan.
It was then that I noticed for the first time
That weed-toting boy could not see he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver; tears shone in the sun
As I thanked him for picking the very best one.
"You're welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play,
Unaware of the impact he'd had on my day.
I sat there and wondered how he managed to see
A self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree.
How did he know of my self-indulged plight?
Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight.

Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see
The problem was not with the world; the problem was me.
And for all of those times I myself had been blind,
I vowed to see the beauty in life, and appreciate every second that's mine.
And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose
And breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose
And smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in hand,
About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.

Pie @ BLR (Burley Lodge Road)

2010-03-02T08:17:00.004+01:00

SATURDAY: played volleyball at the Manchester game by MSSM (Malaysian Student's Society of Manchester). Got 2nd place. ^_^ we were very happy coz we didnt expect to come home with anything~ lol. we played for fun during the weekends only. no serious training (at least not on my part).

Us: before the game

Us: during the game

Us: after the game.

P/S: snatched the picture from remy's facebook. :P

SUNDAY: buat Pie... ade2, apple n pineapple. 1st time try. hehe. from a random recipe from the internet. it's not that hard. as long as there's some experience with flour based foods to know the right consistency for the dough. Thanks to qawiy :), i just helped him to make it...

There's the picture of my very own mixer... looks like Kenwood Chef?

And these are the pies ready to be cooked~

And lastly, the cooked and cut apple pie~

very nice things to do the weekend after handing in the SSC essay draft. :)

manusia ini...

2010-02-18T04:33:00.002+01:00

...memang bukan mudah difahami
bukan macam ketip kuku...

...mudah nampak kesalahan orang lain
tapi biasa lupa kelemahan diri sendiri...

...suka kalau orang lain penuhi hajatnya
tapi selalu lupa penuhi hajat orang lain...

...suka kalau orang lain gembirakan dirinya
namun biasa lupa menggembirakan orang lain...

...suka ingin lihat orang lain berubah
tapi untuk mengubah diri sendiri bukan mudah...

...suka orang faham perasaannya
tapi jarang cuba memahami perasaan orang...

...kadangkala cepat terasa
tetapi mengharap orang lain bersabar dengannya...

...amat mudah lupa
tapi kerapkali marah bila orang lain terlupa...

...lemah dan mudah pecah
...selalu terleka
...mudah jatuh sakit
...mudah terpedaya

Spend some time to laugh~

2010-02-14T10:21:00.002+01:00

Maher Zain - Insha Allah -

2010-02-13T16:53:00.004+01:00

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never lose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Everytime you can make one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah we’ll find the way

gula, kopi, teh, dan hot choc Morrisson's

2010-02-11T02:46:00.002+01:00

gula apabila merasa dirinya lebih gula daripada gula-gula lain,
dan merasa bahawa dirinya melampaui batasan gula,
dan tahu segala macam perangai gula seperti telapak tangan gulanya,
maka kadangkala si gula lupa bahawa dirinya bukanlah sebuk kopi,
atau uncang teh atau coffeemate atau serbuk coklat morrisons,
maka dengan memandang enteng gula laen si gula yang menganggap dirinya bukan gula,
dengan senang lenang menyakiti dan memperbuat gula-gula lain sewenangnya,
maka gula-gula lain akan berasa tidak senang dengan gula tersebut,
dan memanggil air panas untuk melarutkan gula yang ingat dirinya bukan gula,
namun apabila terkena air panas...

LARUT JUGA
maka tatkala itu si gula akan sedar,
bahawa dirinya juga gula,
walau dalam diri merasa bahawa gula-gula lain boleh diinjak sesuka hati,
namun hakikatnya, gula tetap gula,
sedarlah dirimu wahai gula-gula sekalian,
kerana kalian takkan selamanya di dunia,
mungkin esok atau lusa,
kalian akan disudu keluar dan dimasukkan ke dalam cangkir kopi,
atau teh atau hot choc morrisson's.

it's time to freak out, isn't it?

2010-02-09T08:56:00.003+01:00

meeting tutor in 2 days...
with only around 2 sentences in my essay...
shoot~

where have i been?

keywords: tutor, essay, freak out! :S

those days

2010-02-04T20:11:00.003+01:00

the three of us really liked reading comics. and we enjoyed playing games. we would go to the CCs to play starcraft. we would go to kedai game which also had tons of comics and read comics for 50 cent each. then we would silently swap between us to avoid paying another 50 cent for the same comic. and we would play the vidoe game there. can't recall the type of console though, and also the price for each hour. being the youngest, my bros would usually pay the costs, coz they really love me. they still do :)

although sometimes i wasn't really up to going out to the cc or the kedai game, i would still follow them there. the reason being i wouldn't want to be put in a position where i would have to "betray" either my parents or my brothers. i was afraid that my parents might ask where my bros are, and i would have to tell them. on the other hand, if i'm with them, they won't be able to ask me :D.

our parents had it clear cut for us. back before 6.30pm. we sometimes came back late (due to having to wait our turn to play game at the shop). once Ayah waited for us to come back. we were late, can't exactly remember how late. he had a cane with him. we all know what happens next. serve us right. :P

we also enjoyed playing with LASY. we had all the compenents named. like kasut, papan, bulat panjang, bulat besar, A kecik, A besar, H kecik, besar, orang, roda. one of the many games that we like to play with LASY was each of us will make our very own "weapon". then we'll arrange the leftovers as our targets. using rubber band as "bullets", we would then shoot the targets down. Mama will always ask us to arrange everything back in the box after we played.

this is how LASY looks like in case you're wondering~

suddenly remembered these stuffs. i had a workshop on "molecules of emotion". one of the task was to try and recollect the past. and those were the few things that came to me. there's lots more in my memory. but i think this is enough for this time.

p/s: how did the time pass so quickly @_@

someone really needs to smile more~

2010-01-28T23:23:00.002+01:00

i have a friend. he's really quite a character. i can't understand him. really, he can be laughing happily with me one second, and the next second it could be the total opposite.

we went ice-skating one day, although we actually planned to go to the gym after class on that particular day. i could sense that he was reluctant at first, but i guess he wanted to spend time with his precious friends. he went.

*************************************************************************************

he took his first step into the rink. i didn't see him smiling. it was agonising i guess. he must be thinking about how miserable it was last year when he went to the skating rink. i looked at him, his face looked so serious. i daren't go near him.

i saw him struggling to maintain his balance. he must be thinking what a waste of money it was to play something he can't even do properly. i think he has a bit of a psychological problem. he's the kind of people who are used to being good at things that he does. he can't stand being a mediocre chap. he needed to be more. at things that really matters to him. i thought he was pathetic, feeling so bitter just because he couldn't skate properly, without even trying his best to.

so giving up is just an easy excuse for him not to do it. not letting people see how unskilled he was at it. i pity him. he should be more adventurous, try new things, learn new things. i watched as he looked at his other friends who are skating gracefully, thinking isn't anyone gonna help teach him?

i guess he then decided what a waste of time to feel miserable and waste his time there. he decided that he should at least try and have fun. so he started skating, and fell on his second step. but he kept on trying. he ended up being able to skate around the rink without difficulty (after falling 3 times, one of which he managed to bring a freind down with him).

so i went to him and say, " see, it's not so bad isn't it. you just need to smile more and enjoy the moment. savour the learning process and have a great time. although it sometimes mean wetting your jeans [from falling on watery ice]. you need to learn to let go, and be happy about it :D"

welcome to the school of detective

2010-01-23T13:37:00.003+01:00

although most of you readers might not know, im actually studying in a detective school, although they like to keep it descreet and call it by another name instead.

here:
-i learn how to "interrogate" by asking the right questions to "suspects".
-i learn to take note of things that others who didn't attend a detective school might just .
-i learn to make further investigations if im not sure of what had actually happened. or to make further tests to determine that my deduction is actually correct.
-i am taught to be observant and careful not to miss small details that might be the key in solving a case.
-during the training of becoming a certified detective, i had to hone my skills by practicing it on other detectives in training, simulated suspects, and also real suspects around the area.
-deductions can sometimes be easy, but not in all cases. i also find that it gets even harder the more i progress through the detective school.
-i also learn how to take precautions when doing my investigation so that i will not get what the suspects have, or carry around bugs from one suspect to another.
-it is not an easy task, as suspects sometimes cannot fully comprehend what we detectives say, thus we need to not use detective jargons when interrogating suspects.
-although it's very interesting, it is quite tiring to train to be a detective as it can suck the spirit and leave the body dry. i sometimes wondered why i chose to become a detective and go thru this rigorous training.
-i learn to use my senses in a better refined way. to hear what others can't hear, to see what others can't see, to feel what others can't feel, to use my limbs dextrously.

just trying my best to enjoy it every step of the way~
fingers crossed :)
palms open wide ~

you dont stop playing coz u get old, you get old coz u stop playing

2010-01-21T22:09:00.003+01:00

let's start this post with blooper reel from house :D

tomorrow's my first official day at the ward. just for a day~ hope it'll be a great experience~

regarding the topic. i had lishi training as part of my PPD (personal and professional development) module, under the valueing diversity slot. it's another kind of chinese traditional exercise. kinda like tai chi i'd say, but with different movements.

the instuctor just kept on stressing about how the chinese are health concious people who takes responsibility of their own health. he tells us about how the old can wake up in the morning to do exercises in the parks, and still be mobile and flexible. but the young are becoming 'westernised' in the sense that the practice is more like and 'old people stuffs' kinda thing. well this statement isn't based on any prove (cant seem to bother looking for any).

what interests me is the fact that how he said its human nature to like having wonder drugs that can heal and keep us healthy rather than work it out ourselves and take responsibility of our own health. he told us how patients were usually reluctant when he told them about exercises...

doing ssc on rheumatoid arthritis...

the more i learn the more i think it's impossible to learn all these stuffs... someone should really consider breaking medicine into several subjects~ would be more bearable to learn... hehe

im generally happy nowadays~ not sure why though :P
blissfully going thru the passing days~
skipping some lectures in doing so~
piling up some works for later date~
and doing some~

eating out~
waiting for scholarship~
rearranging the room in hope that it would give me the long awaited boost for the term~
to no avail~

ah...
good days~ good days~

why?

2010-01-16T22:56:00.002+01:00

i choose what i think is best for myself. I try my best not to dictate anyone, although at times it does happen unintentionally.

so in return, i expect people to respect my decision and what i choose to do with my life. i hate being afraid to do things that aren't wrong in itself just because some kind of people would say something about it.

i just don't think it's appropriate to control someone who is already a young adult. maybe some people do not notice that WE ARE OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR OURSELVES.

i do not wish to follow. i chose to leave.

call me ignorant,
call me a sore loser,
call me bitter,
i wouldn't mind.

Surah:39.Az-Zumar.

2009-12-24T17:44:00.001+01:00

54. Dan kembalilah kamu kepada Tuhan kamu dengan bertaubat, serta berserah bulat-bulat kepadaNya, sebelum kamu didatangi azab; kerana sesudah itu kamu tidak akan diberikan pertolongan.

55. Dan turutlah Al-Quran sebaik-baik (panduan hidup) yang diturunkan kepada kamu dari Tuhan kamu, sebelum kamu didatangi azab secara mengejut, sedang kamu tidak menyedarinya.

56. (Diperintahkan demikian) supaya jangan seseorang (menyesal dengan) berkata: Sungguh besar sesal dan kecewaku kerana aku telah mencuaikan kewajipan-kewajipanku terhadap Allah serta aku telah menjadi dari orang-orang yang sungguh memperolok-olokkan (agama Allah dan penganut-penganutnya)!

1 week into the new year (1431)

2009-12-24T10:25:00.000+01:00

what have you change about yourself from the last year?~

Surah:103.Al-'Asr.

.وَالْعَصْرِ . إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ
إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

1. Demi Masa!
2. Sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam kerugian;
3. Kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh dan mereka pula berpesan-pesan dengan kebenaran serta berpesan-pesan dengan sabar. ۞

*****************************************************************************

it's shenowing again :)
oh well, the best time is when it falls, the worst is when you falls...

Ahh... and Holiday Starts... (banananana story)

2009-12-20T02:48:00.005+01:00

i start this entry with a totally unrelated pic and the story behind it. this was my flower, which sat on my window sill for a few weeks. loved it very much although it only costs me 25p. did my best to take care of it but it started to get whitish parasite all over it. i hav no idea what to do. kept getting worse and it was dying. to i decided to put it to sleep. :'(. will be sorely missed. you cheered me up most mornings when i felt very very very lack of motivation to go to school.

the first term ended... quite well i'd say. considering the results of my exams... and my steady emotional state. but that's not what this post is about...

it was snowing on friday. the first one in leeds for this winter (hope ther'll be more to come, not too many tho)... thinking about the snow and how we (malaysians) usually react upon seeing it, i came up with some sort of a slogan to sum it all up.

snow... the best time is when it fall... the worst is when you fall (you know, when it gets slippery and the penguin genes start to be expressed)...

i must say that there's always a smile on the face when it's snowing. the first wave came when i was on my way back from school (the LGI (Leeds general Infirmary) to be exact). right after finishing my last day of SSC (traditional chinese medicine, COOL stuffs. that's my head being STABBED by a needle. doesn't feel a thing. :) look at that obvoiusly untrained hand, kidding lol.
anyways, lets save it for another day (if the day comes)). as i was walking down the hill it suddenly started to snow. i was smiling ear to ear all the way home. although it did get a bit too heavy and was blinding me. i ended up not going to the shop nearest to home to buy some bananananas.

it didn't end ther. i went out later that evening to get the bananananas, and the trip was like passing thru a snowstorm (yea, im exaggerating). all the fruits and vege that are usually arranged neatly outside the shop were stacked up inside. and it was like searching for a particular book on the last week before the SPM exam (when my table was full of books due to overexcited (barely!) and unfocused revision). but i managed to get them. (for those who lost track of what i was looking for at the shop, it's bananananas).

and it's the first day of holiday. oh, yeah. forgot to mention. im all alone now. my 4 other housemates decided that i was a pest to take along with, so they decided to secretly and systemitically go home (read:Malaysia, or a/meet a friend without me). naah, they've got matters to attend to.

so yeah, back to the first day. now its 2 am the second day. yesterday (the first day), i managed to stay at home for the whole day. yeah right. the WHOLE DAY. now im starting to hear voices. lol. it was extremely boring. so i've decided not to do it again.

and, i've clean the mess in the kitchen and the living room (which really is alive when everyone's home, that the neighbour will start to bang and shout hysterically at the door at midnight/almost midnight). that's the neighbour story. let's save it for another day.

aww... think i need to do something, anything. and i will. only time will tell...

some random stuffs;
-> q would have enjoyed the snow, he was wishing for it to come before he went back to his "home country" (saudi)
->played volleyball till my hands hurt. the ball was only 1 scale softer than a rock.
->when to dinner with abg r and frends last night, awesome place, thanks.
->i think i may be starting to appreciate my housemates a bit more. i think the silence and loneliness is kind of therapeutic in its own way... will never take u guys for granted :)
->i guess this just prove what h told me about how i won't survive living alone, mayb i can't. it's alright to be weak and in need of others, right.
->bananananas are finished. so is a bar of cad's dairy milk chocolate.
->oh yea, I came up with the true definition of LOL. its Lots Of Lols. :)

p/s: i know most of the stuffs are not of your interest to read about. noone's forcing you to :)

broken

2009-11-26T01:23:00.003+01:00

there's no perfect urn...
there's always a paint mess...
an untidy finish...
a chipped side...
a crack...

or it might not even be an urn anymore...
if it's smashed...
or maybe not done...

my point is...
there's no perfect urn...
so we always see how imperfect other urns are...
and think ours is perfect...

wait till we look into a mirror...

humm~

2009-11-23T21:50:00.001+01:00

surviving, living and dying

2009-10-25T23:35:00.003+01:00

the first time i entered this world
i struggled formy first breath
i survived

when i was growing up
learned lots of new stuffs
struggled to be the best i could
i survived

during primary school
struggled to maintain a good grade
sacrifice play time and having fun
i survived

secondary school
same stuff
struggle struggle
i survived

now in uni
i look back and think
whilst too busy surviving
had i forgotten to live?

~~~~~

the first time i entered this world
started to know life
i was living it

when i was growing up
did lots of cool stuffs
played to be the best i could
i was living my life

during primary school
never really cared about my grade
play and fun most of the time
i was living a life

secondary school
same stuff
live live
i lived

now in uni
i look back and think
whilst too busy living
had i forgotten about death?

~~~~~

need to study~ exam in 4 weeks... [50 muscles] + [2x50 attachments] + [50 innervations] = about 200 things to cram in? someone told me it's 50. haven't counted it myself. oh, upper limb, how (relatively) easy it is to USE you, but you sure aren't THAT easy to KNOW you~ pardon my babbling~

brainstem... brainstem

2009-10-11T02:14:00.001+02:00

ngahaha....

my lecturer showed this vid to get us all psyched up to learn bout the brain...

njoy!

oh yea... it's time for the brain~

madah penyair Islam Muhammad Iqbal

2009-08-25T07:24:00.003+02:00

Zaman satu bangsa yang hina

Akan ada ilmuan, sasterawan dan orang yang arif bijaksana!

Mereka kelihatan berbeza dengan pelbagai ideologi

tetapi semuanya sependapat dengan satu target:

Mereka ajar anak singa agar menjadi kijang yang pengecut

dan mereka padamkan kisah-kisah singa pada bicara silam

Cita-cita mereka, menggembirakan hamba dengan perhambaan

Seluruh pengajaran mereka hanyalah penipuan cendekiawan.

Ianya telah berlaku.
Mereka mengasuh anak anak singa Islam supaya menjadi kijang yang pengecut. Mereka padamkan kisah singa-singa Islam samada para ulama’, ahli zuhud dan para pejuang Islam dari sejarah abad pertama Islam.

Plan pendidikan mereka ini telah melahirkan kijang-kijang yang pengecut, tidak lagi mampu menerkam. Kijang-kijang ini tidak mahu lagi memikul apa-apa tanggungjawab dan sentiasa cuba melarikan diri seboleh-bolehnya….!
Inilah generasi baru dari putera-puteri Islam…!
Anak-anak singa yang bertukar menjadi kijang yang pengecut.
Sebenarnya mereka itu merdeka, lalu diperhambakan, dan mereka bergembira menjadi hamba.

dipetik dari buku al-Muntalaq

mulalah sekarang! sebelum penyesalan bertandang

2009-08-20T18:38:00.004+02:00

زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّهَوَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاء وَالْبَنِينَ وَالْقَنَاطِيرِ الْمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ الذَّهَبِ وَالْفِضَّةِ وَالْخَيْلِ الْمُسَوَّمَةِ وَالأَنْعَامِ وَالْحَرْثِ ذَلِكَ مَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَاللّهُ عِندَهُ حُسْنُ الْمَآبِ

Dihiaskan (dan dijadikan indah) kepada manusia: Kesukaan kepada benda-benda yang diingini nafsu, iaitu perempuan-perempuan dan anak-pinak; harta benda yang banyak bertimbun-timbun, dari emas dan perak; kuda peliharaan yang bertanda lagi terlatih dan binatang-binatang ternak serta kebun-kebun tanaman. Semuanya itu ialah kesenangan hidup di dunia dan (ingatlah), pada sisi Allah ada tempat kembali yang sebaik-baiknya (iaitu Syurga). (Ali Imran: 14)

Bukan mudah jalan menuju redha ALLAH. tapi mulalah melangkah. (gambar hiasan)

Az-Zumar:

52. Tidakkah mereka mengetahui bahawa sesungguhnya Allah memewahkan rezeki bagi sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya dan Dia juga yang menyempitkannya? Sesungguhnya yang demikian mengandungi keterangan-keterangan yang jelas bagi orang-orang yang percayakan (ilmu dan kebijaksanaan Allah).

53. Katakanlah: Wahai hamba-hambaKu yang telah melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri (dengan perbuatan-perbuatan maksiat), janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, kerana sesungguhnya Allah mengampunkan segala dosa; sesungguhnya Dialah jua Yang Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani.

54. Dan kembalilah kamu kepada Tuhan kamu dengan bertaubat, serta berserah bulat-bulat kepadaNya, sebelum kamu didatangi azab; kerana sesudah itu kamu tidak akan diberikan pertolongan.

55. Dan turutlah Al-Quran sebaik-baik (panduan hidup) yang diturunkan kepada kamu dari Tuhan kamu, sebelum kamu didatangi azab secara mengejut, sedang kamu tidak menyedarinya.

56. Supaya jangan seseorang (menyesal dengan) berkata: Sungguh besar sesal dan kecewaku kerana aku telah mencuaikan kewajipan-kewajipanku terhadap Allah serta aku telah menjadi dari orang-orang yang sungguh memperolok-olokkan (agama Allah dan penganut-penganutnya)!

::ambillah kesempatan kedatangan Ramadhan untuk kita sama2 mendidik jiwa menjadi seorang HAMBA yang benar2 memiliki jiwa HAMBA. berusahalah untuk berubah kearah kebaikan, JANGAN PUTUS ASA DARI RAHMAT ALLAH::

12 types of med students

2009-08-15T08:41:00.004+02:00

p/s: grabbed this from http://theunderweardrawer.homestead.com/scutmonkey.html. some1 gave it to me XD

Assolatu imaadudeen

2009-08-14T18:48:00.004+02:00

وَاسْتَعِينُواْ بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاَةِ وَإِنَّهَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلاَّ عَلَى الْخَاشِعِينَ

Al-Baqarah (2):45. Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk.

اتْلُ مَا أُوحِيَ إِلَيْكَ مِنَ الْكِتَابِ وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَى عَنِ الْفَحْشَاء وَالْمُنكَرِ وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ

Al-'Ankabut, (29):45: Bacalah serta ikutlah akan apa yang diwahyukan kepadamu dari Al-Quran dan dirikanlah sembahyang; sesungguhnya sembahyang itu mencegah dari perbuatan yang keji dan mungkar dan sesungguhnya mengingati Allah adalah lebih besar (faedahnya dan kesannya) dan (ingatlah) Allah mengetahui akan apa yang kamu kerjakan.

فَاذْكُرُونِي أَذْكُرْكُمْ وَاشْكُرُواْ لِي وَلاَ تَكْفُرُونِ.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ اسْتَعِينُواْ بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاَةِ إِنَّ اللّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ

Al-Baqarah (2):152. Oleh itu ingatlah kamu kepadaKu, supaya Aku membalas kamu dengan kebaikan dan bersyukurlah kamu kepadaKu dan janganlah kamu kufur (akan nikmatKu).
153. Wahai sekalian orang-orang yang beriman! Mintalah pertolongan dengan bersabar dan dengan sembahyang; kerana sesungguhnya Allah menyertai (menolong) orang-orang yang sabar.

apparently, the time spent to perform a prayer is the same whether it is early or late. so what's really motivating us to procrastinate in performing it?

photoshop lg

2009-08-04T05:13:00.001+02:00

photoshop~

2009-08-03T11:00:00.003+02:00

Went through some photoshop tutorials, and came up with these ^_^

hehe...

An-Nur, 24:52

2009-07-31T14:33:00.001+02:00

وَمَن يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَيَخْشَ اللَّهَ وَيَتَّقْهِ فَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمُ الْفَائِزُونَ

52. Dan sesiapa yang taat kepada Allah dan RasulNya dan takut melanggar perintah Allah serta, menjaga dirinya jangan terdedah kepada azab Allah, maka merekalah orang-orang yang beroleh kemenangan.

hemm... bagusnya kalau ayat nih sentiasa dalam ingatan~

Tragedi -.-

2009-07-31T13:56:00.003+02:00

GOMOK (bukan nama sebenar) nampak pintu terbukak...
GOMOK masuk... nampak laptop hijau tulih DELL...
tp GOMOK x reti baca...
GOMOK pon pusing2 kat bilik...
GOMOK taktau nak buat ape...
tibe2, GOMOK nampak charger nokia...
GOMOK tengok charger tuh terpasang...
tibe2 GOMOK teruja...

GOMOK pon...
GOMOK pon...
GOMOK pon...

GOMOK gigit wayar die...
GOMOK x suke tgk wayar, nak2 klu wayar tuh kecik...
GOMOK mesti nak gigit...
dan kalau x sempat selamatkan...
GOMOK akan selamat putuskan...

tq GOMOK... ko xde hobi laen ke ha?
(ditulis dengan hati duka lara, lengkali jangan lupe tutup pintu klu ade GOMOK kat umah)

Mangsa kejadian...

GOMOK...

looking back~

2009-07-16T03:58:00.002+02:00

my first weekend in Malaysia...
I went to SAKTI...
brought back lots of memories...
it has been 4 years since I was last there as a student...
and time is rapid...
everything changes...

I gained numerous things and new thoughts...
although I was there as a facilitator for a motivation "camp",
I've learnt a lot from it...
and from being with those form 1 students...

it made me realize how far i've changed
made me realize how vital a change is
and how getting on with life can be a very tought task
but we have our own strengths
and focusing too much on our weaknesses would only make us feel malaise...
weak and useless...
but nonetheless
knowing our weaknesses are also vital

it's part of life
as we grow older
we realise
that life's not
as straightforward as it seems
when we were in school

there's no one definite answer
and there's certainly no certainty in it

so we move on
and tackle things as it comes...
with strength and courage
from those around...
so treasure them
as they shape us

selamat berjuang my friends

Last day in Leeds for this academic yr~

2009-06-26T20:59:00.002+02:00

sok... gerak London...

insyaAllah akan singgah menunaikan umrah sblm gerak ke malaysia...

nak balek...

huhu... td hantar zaki g train station... pasnih die x dtg leeds dah...

hmm...

hope everything will be fine...

umah pon hampir abih kosong macam 9 bulan lepas...

well...

Surah:103.Al-'Asr.
1. By time,
2. Indeed, mankind is in loss,
3. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

yang masih kabur (muhasabah beberapa minit)

2009-06-21T05:02:00.004+02:00

~kesenangan dan nikmat berlimpah2 di depan mata, namun sekelumit kesusahan juga yang aku bising dan keluhkan...
~jalan menuju pembaikan diri terpampang di depan mata, tetapi jalan kehancuran juga yang dipilih...
~sumber ketenangan jelas, tetapi kecelaruan yang kupilih...
~jalan yang benar ada, namun jalan yang senang menjadi pilihan...
~berapa banyak wang yang habis untuk "entertainment", tetapi yang dikeluarkan untuk tabung derma juga yang asyik difikirkan, disesalkan...
~berjuta kebaikan dilakukan insan sekeliling, tapi setengah kejahatan yang paling jelas di mata...
~aku mengakui dan aku bahawa hidup ini hanya sekejap cuma, tapi masih tidak mahu berusaha untuk yang panjang dan selama-lamanya

kabur, kabur, kabur... seperti si rabun yang tidak mahu memakai kanta sentuh (atau cermin mata), seperti si lapar yang tidak mahu makan, atau si mengantuk yang tidak mahu tidur, juga si jahil yang tidak mahu menuntut ilmu, dan aku yang masih tidak mahu berubah kepada yang lebih baik.

jauh lagi kehidupanku kini, dengan kehidupan soerang pengembara~

Hadis diriwayatkan oleh al-lmam al-Bukhari.

Daripada lbnu 'Umar r.a. رضي الله عنهما beliau berkata:
Rasulullah SAW telah memegang bahuku seraya bersabda: Hiduplah engkau di dunia seolah-olah engkau seorang perantau atau musafir lalu.
lbnu 'Umar r.a. pernah berkata:
Apabila engkau berada di waktu petang, maka janganlah engkau menunggu (ketibaan) waktu pagi dan
apabila engkau berada di waktu pagi, maka janganlah engkau menunggu (ketibaan) waktu petang.
Ambillah peluang dari kesihatanmu untuk masa sakitmu dan masa hidupmu untuk matimu.

Pengajaran hadis:
(1) Kehidupan di dunia adalah kehidupan sementara, akhirat jua yang kekal abadi. Kerana itu, manusia diminta agar mengambil berat soal akhirat dan mengambil dunia seumpama seorang musafir lalu atau seorang dagang, yang hanya membawa barang keperluan di perjalanan, bukan membawa semua barang-barang.

(2) Seorang mukmin tidak harus memanjangkan angan-angannya, kerana dia terdedah kepada panggilan maut pada bila-bila masa. Dia semesti sentiasa berwaspada menghadapi maut. Apabila pagi tiba, seolah-olah dia tidak akan hidup hingga ke petang dan apabila tiba waktu petang, dia merasa seolah-olah dia tidak sempat menghirup udara pagi esoknya.

(3) Larangan memanjangkan angan-angan dan gesaan agar hidup secara sederhana tidak bermakna lslam menghalang kemajuan dan kekayaan. lslam membenarkan penganutnya menjadi hartawan dan negara lslam menjadi sebuah negara maju tetapi dengan syarat menjadi seorang mukmin dan negara lslam yang bertaqwa. Kemajuan dan kekayaan adalah untuk Allah.

Alhamdulillah

2009-06-17T23:16:00.003+02:00

result exam dah kuar harinih

alhamdulillah, pass!
alhamdulillah. sesungguhnya, apa pun keputusan, merupakan pemberian Allah. Usaha tidak bermakna tanpa izin Allah~

Al-Hadeed: 22. Tidak ada sesuatu kesusahan (atau bala bencana) yang ditimpakan di bumi dan tidak juga yang menimpa diri kamu, melainkan telah sedia ada di dalam Kitab (pengetahuan Kami) sebelum Kami menjadikannya; sesungguhnya mengadakan yang demikian itu adalah mudah bagi Allah.
23. (Kamu diberitahu tentang itu) supaya kamu tidak bersedih hati akan apa yang telah luput daripada kamu dan tidak pula bergembira (secara sombong dan bangga) dengan apa yang diberikan kepada kamu dan (ingatlah), Allah tidak suka kepada tiap-tiap orang yang sombong takbur, lagi membanggakan diri.

semoga ak syukur dan sabar, dengan apa jua yang ditakdirkan untukku... :D
masa untuk kembali ke alam nyata... terover maen game lak pas exam nih... isk3

Be a stranger, and be :)

2009-06-07T09:49:00.002+02:00

On the authority of Ibn 'Umar, radiyallahu 'anhuma, who said: The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, took me by the shoulder and said:

"Be in this world as though you were a stranger or a traveler/wayfarer."
Ibn 'Umar used to say: "When evening comes, do not expect (to live till) morning, and when morning comes, do not expect (to live till) evening. Take from your health (a preparation) for your illness, and from your life for your death."
[Al-Bukhari]

happy(?) birthday

2009-06-05T04:46:00.005+02:00

my birthday... officially 4th of June. UNofficially 3rd~

this year's bday's unique in the sense that it wasn't on a holiday! biasanya tiap-tiap kali masa cuti, jd bole sambut dengan family!

even better... 4 Jun tahun nih exam spot test... abih exam je dpt kad dr Jannah... ingat surat cinta, hua3 XD. kad yg manis berbaur pedas. hehe...

then kami g vote untuk EU election! then g mahmood~ untuk celebrate bday, dan celebrate perut yg lapar~

balek masak~ then tido! yg nih penting untuk restkan kepala for the next exam which is next week!!!

maka dengan ini, sy nk bg award untuk wish2 (yg kat frenster)

~paling "DotA"ish... faiq~ sampai name ak pon leh lupe... :P

Faiq Syamim: appy bday puck...ahaks

~paling pendek... ajik~ nih kompem sebuk gile nih...

Haziq Ikhwan: bday2

~paling mengingatkan tentang "kampung"... hana~

Halimah Hana A Karim: rakan se-kampung!
hehehe happy birthday..

ape2 pon... sume best. thanks all. you made my day (wpon terpakse spend in the dissicting room)~~~

mkn chocolate gateau sorg2 for my bday! ^_^ thx morrison's... and Ihsan sbb tolong belikan XD

30:54 Allah, Dialah yang menciptakan kamu dari keadaan lemah, kemudian Dia menjadikan (kamu) sesudah keadaan lemah itu menjadi kuat, kemudian Dia menjadikan (kamu) sesudah kuat itu lemah (kembali) dan beruban. Dia menciptakan apa yang dikehendaki-Nya dan Dialah Yang Maha Mengetahui lagi Maha Kuasa.

alhamdulillah... setahun lagi umur~ iman dan amal?

Setiap Kali

2009-05-29T06:35:00.000+02:00

setiap kali - devotees

Setiap Kali

Album : Mini Motivasi
Munsyid : Devotees
http://liriknasyid.com

Setiap kali mendapat nikmat
jarang kusedari itu pemberian-Mu
terkadang rasa itu kerana
segala usaha dan penat lelahku sahaja

setiap kali ditimpa musibah
kumengeluh risau bertambah gelisah
hingga terlupa pada-Mu Allah
tempat kembali segala masalah

oh Tuhan Yang Maha Penyayang (...maha penyayang..)
leraikanlah aku dari keluh kesah (..uuu..)
yang membelenggu jiwa dan fikiran (..dan fikiran...)
ditambah dengan hasutan syaitan (..uuu..., haaa)

kurniakanlah kepadaku ketabahan (..ketabahan..)
singkapkanku hikmah segala ketentuan (..uu…)
Moga sinar-Mu berikanku pedoman (…pedoman..)
Hanya pada-Mu segala ketetapan (…haa…)

(backup)
oh tuhan yang maha penyayang
leraikanlah aku dari keluh kesah
yang membelenggu jiwa dan fikiran
ditambah dengan hasutan syaitan
durjana yang sentiasa mengarahku
kepada kemurkaanmu
kurniakanlah kepadaku ketabahan
tunjukkan ku hikmah segala ketentuan
Moga sinar-Mu berikanku pedoman
Hanya pada-Mu segala ketetapan
Ya Allah kau redhailah diri ini

seandainya diri ini
mampu meraih cinta keredhaan-Mu
seandainya akulah insan yang terpilih
pimpini hidupku

Berkorban Demi Cinta~

2009-05-20T03:29:00.001+02:00

Berkorban Demi Cinta - Hijjaz

Berkorban Demi Cinta

Album : Damai
Munsyid : Hijjaz
http://liriknasyid.com

Bermula gemilang cahaya
Petunjuk pimpinan yang Esa
Menempuh jalan hidup di dunia
Cabaran yang silih berganti
Dugaan mematangkan diri
Mengajar erti hidup ini

Berjuang berkorban demi cinta
Suka dan duka suratanNya
Mengenal makna jalan bahagia
Masa yang silih berlalu
Semakin hampir saat itu
Ya Tuhan tunjukkan
Moga selamat bersamaMu

Biarpun bersama kekurangan
Namun bersyukur kurniaan Tuhan
Iman di hati sabar menjadi pemujuk diri
DenganMu ku punyai segala
Tak kan beruntung seisi dunia
Limpah kurniakan petunjuk bantuan
Tempuh hari yang mendatang

Semoga?
Sisa hidup ini tak kan terbuang lagi
Setiap detik masa dalam amalan jua
Jangan dipisahkan denganMu kebahgiaan

Semoga dengan ini jambatan menemui
Cinta yang sejati
Itu yang abadi

Berjuang mencari iman taqwa
Perisai menempuh pancaroba
Penentu tempat rahmat bahagia
Seiring teman dan saudara
Pimpinan tauladan baginda
Ya Tuhan bantulah
Moga selamat selamanya

motivated~ study time~ exam in 2 weeks time~ XD

going dormant~

2009-04-20T01:51:00.000+02:00

bye3

jalan pergi, jalan pulang

2009-04-17T10:37:00.005+02:00

Summary perjalanan (pergi?/pulang?) ke leeds
1700 (GMT+8) - flight dr LCCT
0000 (GMT +1) - smpi stansted aepot
0530 - tren dr stansted epot
0910 - tren dr king's cross (yg nih je murah... ak tggu dr kol 7.40 nye train...)
(notice the "transit time" huhuhuuu)
11.20 - sampai pon leeds, Alhamdulillah

_____________________________________________________________
harinih ak balek leeds... ke pergi leeds... isnin akn start next term...

mcm biase, bile cuni nak abih... mule terfikir matlamat kerja yang telah diset sebelum cuti...
berjayakah? buat kah? brape peratus siap? hmm... walau sudah berulang kali, tapi masih sama.

_____________________________________________________________

panjang masa perjalanan, kerana jarak pon jauh... dlm flight, lampu tempat dudukku xleh diON... lalu dengan penuh "berat hati" terpaksalah ak tido saat lampu mula dimalapkan (or lebih tepat dipadamkan)... aish~

_____________________________________________________________

sampai airport.... around 12AM.... train kol 9.10... ak tido dulu... sampai dekat kol 4. tido2 ayam aje... yelah, kat tepi2 aje... kalu tido nyenyak2 nnti, ilang pulak beg2 tuh... dan berbantalkan lantai, mmg mudah nk bangun... solat Subuh... ak carik ceruk terpencil... menyorok, bukan sebab salah.... cumer, xmau dilihat2.... solat sendiri pon xtau khusyuknye takat mana.... kalau org jalan2 dok pandang2.... lagi rrr....

_____________________________________________________________

beli air. patut bole dpt free air tuh klu bli surat kaba. but still beli air. x trpk ape2 pon... akak (mat salleh) yg jaga kaunter tuh yg scankan suratkaba... sbb surat kaba murah agi... haha... x terpk pon.... ntah ape2 ak nih....

isi sebenarnye kat cni*********************************************************
ape yg aku jumpe akat paper tuh... dorang ngah sibuk skang. pasal institusi keluarga yang hancur lebuh. sebab ramai yg bersekedudukan. just live together, tp x kawen. then dpt anak. rmi yg pisah sblm ank tuh umo setahun pon... so... ank tuh mmbesa dlm situasi yang x secure. dan surplus kewangan tidak dapat membantu defisit emosi... so dorang risau aaa...
nih statistiknya untuk diponder2:
-30% of women under 30 give birth by the age of 25... but,
-only 24% of under 30s get married
-one in two (that's 50%) of cohabiting couples split up before their child's first birthday
something must be wrong, kan?

_____________________________________________________________

tgk cara islam... bagaimana undang2 Allah menghindarkan perkara ini daripada berlaku. cara ini yang dapat menghasilkan produk berkualiti. manusia sibuk mencari jalan untuk mslh2 hidup... sedang Allah telah menunjukkan jalan terbaik. Manusia... sombongnya melebihi segala. egonya... jangan sampai jadi seperti iblis, yang tidak mahu menurut perintah Allah kerana egonya. Waalahua'lam.

_____________________________________________________________

oh.... psl jetlag.
time kat plane ade terbaca tips untuk kurangkan jetlag. scientifically proven ke x tuh ak tatau. it is said that, when travelling eastward, sleep as much as you can. when travelling westward, stay awake as much as you can. wonder how true this is :/

psl jetlag dlm paper. they might be coming up with a drug to prevent jetlag. but its still in an ongoing research.

the science behind jetlag: Neuron yang mengawal deep sleep bole adjust ngan cepat. tetapi masa untuk REM sleep mengambil mase yang lame untuk adjust (can take up to a week/ more?). "you are internally desynchronised" bak kate akhbar tersebut.

p/s: sorry for the inconsistencies on language and tone... i'm on the train to leeds... just killing some free time. happy new term to me XD

suatu hari di Swiss~

2009-04-14T12:16:00.005+02:00

Sewaktu berjaulah ke Swiss, winter lalu. berbulan sudah. tp masih segar diingatan. di sana dapat kurasakan bagaimana Islam ini mampu melampaui batasan bahasa, kenegaraan, dan bangsa. betapa pengalaman tersebut memberikan gambaran tentang ukhuwah islamiah yang selalu didengar...

di Bern, kami mencari2 masjid. lalu berjalanlah kami ke sana kemari. jumpa saja muslim, (yang dapat dilihat dari segi pemakaian @ perawakan la, seperti memakai jubah, bertudung, berjanggut) kami akan bertanya. tapikan, di sana x ramai yang fasih berbahasa inggeris. dan kami pon tak tahu berbahasa german/french!

maka percakapan kami biasanya bermula dengan perkataan yang sama, iaitu...
"English?"... agak kelakar bile diulang2... tp itulah hakikatnya. manusia dicipta pelbagai bangsa, bahasa, budaya.

dipendekkan cerita, setelah bertanya dengan beberapa orang di jalanan, dengan pelbagai bahasa (Inggeris ada, arab ada (nasib baik ada yang boleh berbahasa arab di klgn kami), sign language tak terkecuali), sampailah kami di masjid. tidak sebesar mana, mungkin kalau di malaysia akan dipanggil surau. kami masuk... belum apa2, sorang brother ini tanya ade tempat tinggal tak, bunyi mcm nak offer tempat tinggal untuk mlm tersebut... terkedu aku~

dipendekkan lagi cerita, kami berkenalan dengan sorang brother dari morocco, Hamoudi namanya. sudah berkeluarga dan menetap di situ. asalnya, kami mahu bertanya tentang tempat untuk mendapatkan mknn halal. jadi masjid menjadi pilihan utama kerana sudah pasti muslim akan berada di masjid.

berbual2, walaupun brother Hamoudi ini tidaklah fasih berbahasa inggeris... tapi itu jugalah yang digunakan untuk berbual. kerana bahasa lain yang bro ni boleh bertutur dengan baik, kami langsunglah! dia bersetuju mmbawa kami ke kedai mkn. ingat nk mintak direction aje... tp die insist nk bawak ngan kereta!

kitorang ber-7. mne la muat kete die. so die mintak tolong kawan die sorang nih. x banyak soal, kawan die trus ckp ok. pastuh... bile kitorang g kat kete kawan die nih, die bawak teksi rupenye. so naik la free2. terkedu jer...

dah sampai. bro hamoudi ajk gi rumah dia. then die gi bli mknn ngan sorang/2 org pergi ikut die kat kedai tadi. kedai tuh kedai pizza, so die bli ar pizza seafood untuk kitorang. die tinggal kitorang jap kat umah ngan ank2 die. ank die 2 org, kecik lg. sorang tuh umur skolah rendah kot, sorang lagi tadika ak rase. x sure. laki 2 2. ngan isteri die laa. ade kat umah. balek2, die bawak pizza, masyaAllah punye la byk. sorang satu! huhu.

dahtu... die baya sume... xnk amik duit langsung dr kitorang. nak wat ape? aku terkedu lagik aa. then die serve kitorang kopi. sblm tuh ade la mknn lagi die bagi. pizza tuh... die insist suh kitorang abihkan. adela die amik 1 slice kot... laen sume die soh kitorang mkn...

balek pastu... die siap akut kitorang sampai luar, jauh gak. sampai dekat ngan masjid tuh balek. takut kitorang x familiar sbb tadi naik kete kot. die dahle ade sakit belakang. huhuhu... wpon kitorang ckp bole je jalan (wpon x bape sure sbnanye, hehe)

then die suh kitorang dtg agi... so kitorang dtg ar agi lusenye, b4 gerak balek. siap tumpang solat lagi kat umah die. then bile balek, sbb ade yang bertanya pasal mknn yg die serve kitorang tuh, die pon bawak lah kitorang ke kedai. pastuh siap blikan sorang 1 biskut ngan 1 bar choc. die insist suh amik... nak wat ape? terkedu lagi... humm.

last2, ade sorang ckp "brother, you make me wanna run away" <--lebih kurang aa!
die balas ape... "that's your problem"... hahaha, gelak sakan kitorang... semoga Allah membalas segala budi baik saudara ini kepada kami, dan pengajaran berharga yang ditunjukkan kepada kami.
tamat la cerita~

cme nk ajk fikir:

- kadang2... skarang nih. ssh nk jumpe org yang betul2 ikhlas nk tolong. mungkin ke keadaan skarang yang banyak sangat kes2 penipuan dan jenayah... menghilangkan sifat2 ini dari manusia. jadi kebiasaan untuk kita buat x kesah jika seseorang itu bukan kenalan kita...

- kalau kita lah kan... sanggup ke abih berjam2 ngan orang yang kita x kenal dan x pernah pon jumpa. die layan kami punyelah baek. wpon struggle2 nk ckp english (no offence here, sbb kat sane mmg x gune english sgt pon)...

- kuar duit lagi bli mknn.

- then rileks je tinggal dak2 laki (kitorang 7 org beb) 20an ngan anak kecik 2 org ngan isteri die sendiri kat umah time die g bli mknn tuh. punyelah die percaya kat kitorang.

- hmmm... baik sungguh die layan tetamu. x lupe juga orang2 lain yang dengan senang hati nk tolong kitorang, sbb mmg nmpk la kitorang bukan org situ.

- situlah. jauh di rantau orang. mungkin kami bercuti, tetapi Allah memberikan pengajaran kepada kami, dengan dipertemukan kami dengan brother tersebut. dan pengajaran ini ingin saya kongsi bersama. pertamanya untuk saya kembali mengingati dan bermuhasabah sendiri. dan juga untuk kita semua, sebagai renungan. wallahua'lam.

Kalaulah ye...

2009-04-11T11:47:00.003+02:00

Click to ENLARGE!

Demi Masa

2009-04-08T06:17:00.003+02:00

a short and simple reminder
yet it brings a very deep meaning if we really look into it
it actually covers all that matters in our lives

although many don't care to think
or just don't want to think
these are the important stuffs in life
and remember that everything will be accounted for
what we do with the gifts and everything that we have...

insyaAllah
may this help me and you
to further pursuit improvements in our lives
to seek Allah's pleasure
for the betterment of the Ummah

let's start now

Me, My Life and Malaysia!

2009-03-30T18:22:00.004+02:00

I'm currently in Malaysia...
Staying here for the Easter holidays. To meet a need. A need to be home. So that they know I'm OK. So that I know they're OK. I just need to see with my own eyes how everyone's doing. Hearing news and IMing isn't enough, for sure. I visited Ayah's grave last Friday. It's been almost 3 months since Ayah left us. I can still recall it, vividly, how I'd wished that it was just my ears playing tricks on me, or it was just a nightmare and I would soon wake up to the real world where everything are in place. I never did wake up for sure. Cause this is reality. And I have to accept that it's Allah's will to take Ayah from us just 4 months after I started my studies overseas.

*************************************************************

It Feels Good to be Back...
I had roti canai and teh tarik for breakfast the very first morning. How they taste so deliciously tasty. I've been staying at home most of the time. Not really the go-out-all-the-time type. Went out a few times to do some chores and look for some stuffs for a friend. Well the least I can do is to bring back some of Malaysia with me for my friends back in Leeds. I'm pretty sure they're not envying me being here as they must be (should be?) having a great time going on trips around Europe. Well at least most of them. A few friends came to Leeds from Ireland, but I didn't get to meet them as in Malaysia.

Pasar Malam...
I could never imagine a trip to pasar malam can be so delightful.
-To see all the sellers promoting in a language so familiar.
-To smell the foods that I've been devouring all my life.
-To be able to imagine the taste of the food by mere smell.
-To see heaps of durian.
There's also some changes that are apparent...
-Some containers are of smaller sizes.
-The pasar malam is at a different spot. Or it could've actually moved there before I went off to study, not sure...

Well we bought some foods, to satisfy the raging hunger! (Alhamdulillah for this rezeki)

Apam balik.... (I wonder where you get your name from)

Murtabak... (and of course yours also)

But Then...
There's an essay to finish, revisions to do, books to read. Not so much progress though as of today... :( Slowly~

Well that's that,
Munz XD

Spread information and views, don't brew hatred~

2009-03-30T14:21:00.003+02:00

It's OK to have an opinion
It's OK to disagree
It's OK to back something up
It's OK to have a say on issues around you
It's OK to be critical
It's OK to argue when you don't meet eye to eye

or maybe...
It's BETTER to have an opinion
It's BETTER to disagree
It's BETTER to back something up
It's BETTER to have a say on issues around you
It's BETTER to be critical
It's BETTER to argue when you don't meet eye to eye

but, well... i think
It's BEST to do it rationally, rather than emotially
It's BEST to look at the opposing team's view too

It's BEST to really know and think, rather than just follow
It's BEST to do it DECENTLY;
-without provocative,
-offensive,
-indecent, or
-(negative) emotion-driven words

Al-Hujurat.(49): 11. "O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers."

Don't think there's any need to name any sites. apparently it can be found almost everywhere! you must've encountered a few dozens if you've been browsing around.
why don't take a second to think before hitting the OK, send, Post, or comment button...

p/s: Be free to have reservation.

M06L vid~ lalala...

2009-03-29T15:15:00.000+02:00

Different Facade, Same Place XD

2009-03-29T14:56:00.003+02:00

plan, in trying to stop the vicious cycle of regret

2009-03-27T00:54:00.007+01:00

hmm... biological clock. i've been sleeping and waking up according to UK's night and day time in the past few days. ^_^ [this has got nothing to do with the post]

so 2 terms have passed since I started my (so-called) university life.

cycle of regret (ain't it a nice name?): it's nothing really. just that i kept on regretting not giving my best shot at my studies, every time i finish an end term examination.

so, i came up with a plan...

nothing new though. just timetable. the problem is not to come up with one, it's with sticking to one. haha. well, i guess it's high time i start to nurture discipline in myself. i've been slacking off a little bit too much i think.

my masterplan is, to try out abiding a simple, not-so-strict (i think "so-not-strict" fits better) timetable during the holiday... and if successful (hopefully), I'll continue with the real hardcore (really?) timetable i made for term time.

just think it's necessary... or i might just get caught off guard again when the exam comes later... full year examination. anything from sep, which means i need to have everything in...

so... best of luck to me... anyone who's felt the same way after an exam might want to try it out too. it's works most effectively if there's someone to keep an eye on you and give you a good reality shake whenever you're slacking off~

persevere
persevere
perseverance (ring of health + void stone)

i'll end this with a quote i got somewhere (feel free to guess where XD):

being a friend means giving someone something they need even if they can't ask for it.
also means not giving up on him(her) when (s)he says "no thank you".

like the colours. thought of making all the letter "a" blue or green... but then i figured it's gonna take time... so i ended up colouring some random words...

Kita Hamba~

2009-03-22T08:30:00.003+01:00

Kita adalah insan yang
dihidupkan buat sementara
Kita adalah insan yang
hakikatnya adalah hamba
Tapi mengapa sering kita
tangguhkan perintah waktu
untuk menyembahNya
Tapi mengapa kita selalu leka
dengan kewajipan sebagai hamba

Sedangkan Tuhan tak pernah
lupa untuk mencurahkan segala nikmatnya
Bahkan Tuhan Maha
pengampun di atas segala dosa
yang dilakukan
Bagi mereka yang insaf dan
mahu bertaubat

Bangunlah di tengah malam
Untuk bermunajat merintih kepadaNya
Pohonlah kasih sayangNya
agar selamat dunia dan akhirat
Bagi mereka yang insaf dan
mahu bertaubat.

It's this feeling again

2009-03-19T14:40:00.002+01:00

2nd term ended. . .

haha... always feels like this during holidays. when there's no more work to be completed or datelines to be met (well, almost no more work). lost...

going to the library to return 3 thick books. . . 3 thick anatomy books. . . 2 are mine (borrowed it for myself, 1 for Man). . .

but I'm going back... spending time back home... yay :D

why am I not panicking?

2009-03-15T20:17:00.005+01:00

**took this from gray's

why should i be panicking?

1. there's an exam on tuesday. an important one which mean i should be revising. but instead i wasted most of my weekend doing something else. being a human, i'd really love to blame it on someone else who agreed to study together during the weekend... maybe the person forgot, or was merely saying but is not really interested in actually doing it, but hey, the onus is on me to study... so there's no point in playing the blame game, right. i just don't really like it when people don't to their words... or at least have the decency to actually tell me if you cannot make it. guess i'm just a petty matter...
2. i've not finished revising renal physiology and the anatomy practicals of the transport system. i've not gone through the self-directed learning and also the micrographs...
3. i'm writing a post for my blog which noone else ever read...
4. got a presentation on wednesday... and i'm suppose to finish my part and send it to my partner for her to look at it... but i haven't done it...

why am i not panicking?

1. could it be the remarks that i get from everyone that i told that i haven't finish doing my revision... it's usually either "it's you, nothing to fear"... or "yea, you just say that, but you'll score"... or "you're just saying that so that people will look up to you when you score the test later". no offence though, and no what they say are not true... coz well guess what... i am a human. nothing gets into my head except via the same route that they get into other people's head. i don't have a wireless or bluetooth to send information to my brain... although it would be really cool to have one :D
2. i have no idea...
3. could it be that my adrenaline gland isn't working properly? so my blood is lack of the fight or flight hormone... ergo, i'm too relaxed?
4. or could it be the brain that's not functioning well? any short-circuit? :P
5. the most probable cause is most likely myself... need some1 to nudge me. or just kick me hard so that i can get back to reality, where everything DOES matter!

hehehe

Life is Wonderful - Jason Mraz

2009-03-13T08:22:00.001+01:00

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life is meaningful
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life it is...so... wonderful
It is so meaningful
It is so wonderful
It is meaningful
It is wonderful
It is meaningful
It goes full circle
Wonderful
Meaningful
Full circle
Wonderful

Tatkala Dunia Terasa Sempit

2009-03-12T07:57:00.001+01:00

وَاسْتَعِينُواْ بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاَةِ وَإِنَّهَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلاَّ عَلَى الْخَاشِعِينَ

2:45 And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah]

stressed out?
chill...
there's guidance from Allah
our Creator
surely He knows what's best for us
even more than we do
so seek Him in solving your problems
InsyaAllah it'll all unwind

إِنَّمَا يَأْمُرُكُمْ بِالسُّوءِ وَالْفَحْشَاء وَأَن تَقُولُواْ عَلَى اللّهِ مَا لاَ تَعْلَمُون
2:169 He (syaitan) only orders you to evil and immorality and to say about Allah what you do not know.

Time to get SERIUOS!

2009-03-08T04:14:00.003+01:00

hehe. I deleted Warcraft 3 for the umpteenth time. Coz I couldn't help it and kept on installing it back into my green lappy! can't help it. the temptation's just unignorable.

it's 3.18 now... a.m., 8th of March. Just a week to go before the pre-spring break exam (fill in the blanks and spot test).

some1 made a remark about how long i slept during my supposedly revision session, and i can't seem to get it out of my head now. hehe XD. well don't worry about me, mate. hey I'm trying my best here... or am I not trying hard enough?

well. at this time, the most prominent sound is my yellow OSAWA "bell-clock", that have been serving my since my schooldays. and of course the sound made by my fingers as they straddle on the keyboard. occasionally i can hear a faint distant sound of someone talking. guess it's my housemate. perhaps taking to himself while memorising.

gaaaaahhh. im going to prepare for the exam. so i might as well continue, right? good day

subhanallah...

2009-03-05T00:08:00.003+01:00

speechless...
kenapa???
sama2 kita ambil iktibar...

janganlah matikan hati kita...
hidupkan... hidupkan...
dengan bacaan Al-Quran dan zikir...

byk2 sabar ye sblm tgk... sabar...

179. وَلَقَدْ ذَرَأْنَا لِجَهَنَّمَ كَثِيراً مِّنَ الْجِنِّ وَالإِنسِ لَهُمْ قُلُوبٌ لاَّ يَفْقَهُونَ بِهَا وَلَهُمْ أَعْيُنٌ لاَّ يُبْصِرُونَ بِهَا وَلَهُمْ آذَانٌ لاَّ يَسْمَعُونَ بِهَا أُوْلَـئِكَ كَالأَنْعَامِ بَلْ هُمْ أَضَلُّ أُوْلَـئِكَ هُمُ الْغَافِلُونَ

Surah:7.Al-A'raf.
179. Dan sesungguhnya Kami jadikan untuk Neraka Jahanam banyak dari jin dan manusia yang mempunyai hati (tetapi) tidak mahu memahami dengannya (ayat-ayat Allah), dan yang mempunyai mata (tetapi) tidak mahu melihat dengannya (bukti keesaan Allah) dan yang mempunyai telinga (tetapi) tidak mahu mendengar dengannya (ajaran dan nasihat); mereka itu seperti binatang ternak, bahkan mereka lebih sesat
lagi; mereka itulah orang-orang yang lalai.