Monday, March 30, 2009

Me, My Life and Malaysia!

I'm currently in Malaysia...
Staying here for the Easter holidays. To meet a need. A need to be home. So that they know I'm OK. So that I know they're OK. I just need to see with my own eyes how everyone's doing. Hearing news and IMing isn't enough, for sure. I visited Ayah's grave last Friday. It's been almost 3 months since Ayah left us. I can still recall it, vividly, how I'd wished that it was just my ears playing tricks on me, or it was just a nightmare and I would soon wake up to the real world where everything are in place. I never did wake up for sure. Cause this is reality. And I have to accept that it's Allah's will to take Ayah from us just 4 months after I started my studies overseas.


It Feels Good to be Back...
I had roti canai and teh tarik for breakfast the very first morning. How they taste so deliciously tasty. I've been staying at home most of the time. Not really the go-out-all-the-time type. Went out a few times to do some chores and look for some stuffs for a friend. Well the least I can do is to bring back some of Malaysia with me for my friends back in Leeds. I'm pretty sure they're not envying me being here as they must be (should be?) having a great time going on trips around Europe. Well at least most of them. A few friends came to Leeds from Ireland, but I didn't get to meet them as in Malaysia.

Pasar Malam...
I could never imagine a trip to pasar malam can be so delightful.
-To see all the sellers promoting in a language so familiar.
-To smell the foods that I've been devouring all my life.
-To be able to imagine the taste of the food by mere smell.
-To see heaps of durian.
There's also some changes that are apparent...
-Some containers are of smaller sizes.
-The pasar malam is at a different spot. Or it could've actually moved there before I went off to study, not sure...

Well we bought some foods, to satisfy the raging hunger! (Alhamdulillah for this rezeki)

Apam balik.... (I wonder where you get your name from)

Murtabak... (and of course yours also)

But Then...
There's an essay to finish, revisions to do, books to read. Not so much progress though as of today... :( Slowly~

Well that's that,
Munz XD

Spread information and views, don't brew hatred~

It's OK to have an opinion
It's OK to disagree
It's OK to back something up
It's OK to have a say on issues around you
It's OK to be critical
It's OK to argue when you don't meet eye to eye

or maybe...
It's BETTER to have an opinion
It's BETTER to disagree
It's BETTER to back something up
It's BETTER to have a say on issues around you
It's BETTER to be critical
It's BETTER to argue when you don't meet eye to eye

but, well... i think
It's BEST to do it rationally, rather than emotially
It's BEST to look at the opposing team's view too
It's BEST to really know and think, rather than just follow
It's BEST to do it DECENTLY;
-without provocative,
-indecent, or
-(negative) emotion-driven words

Al-Hujurat.(49): 11. "O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers."

Don't think there's any need to name any sites. apparently it can be found almost everywhere! you must've encountered a few dozens if you've been browsing around.
why don't take a second to think before hitting the OK, send, Post, or comment button...

p/s: Be free to have reservation.

Friday, March 27, 2009

plan, in trying to stop the vicious cycle of regret

hmm... biological clock. i've been sleeping and waking up according to UK's night and day time in the past few days. ^_^ [this has got nothing to do with the post]

so 2 terms have passed since I started my (so-called) university life.

cycle of regret (ain't it a nice name?): it's nothing really. just that i kept on regretting not giving my best shot at my studies, every time i finish an end term examination.

so, i came up with a plan...

nothing new though. just timetable. the problem is not to come up with one, it's with sticking to one. haha. well, i guess it's high time i start to nurture discipline in myself. i've been slacking off a little bit too much i think.

my masterplan is, to try out abiding a simple, not-so-strict (i think "so-not-strict" fits better) timetable during the holiday... and if successful (hopefully), I'll continue with the real hardcore (really?) timetable i made for term time.

just think it's necessary... or i might just get caught off guard again when the exam comes later... full year examination. anything from sep, which means i need to have everything in...

so... best of luck to me... anyone who's felt the same way after an exam might want to try it out too. it's works most effectively if there's someone to keep an eye on you and give you a good reality shake whenever you're slacking off~

perseverance (ring of health + void stone)

i'll end this with a quote i got somewhere (feel free to guess where XD):
being a friend means giving someone something they need even if they can't ask for it.
also means not giving up on him(her) when (s)he says "no thank you".

like the colours. thought of making all the letter "a" blue or green... but then i figured it's gonna take time... so i ended up colouring some random words...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Kita Hamba~

Kita adalah insan yang
dihidupkan buat sementara
Kita adalah insan yang
hakikatnya adalah hamba
Tapi mengapa sering kita
tangguhkan perintah waktu
untuk menyembahNya
Tapi mengapa kita selalu leka
dengan kewajipan sebagai hamba

Sedangkan Tuhan tak pernah
lupa untuk mencurahkan segala nikmatnya
Bahkan Tuhan Maha
pengampun di atas segala dosa
yang dilakukan
Bagi mereka yang insaf dan
mahu bertaubat

Bangunlah di tengah malam
Untuk bermunajat merintih kepadaNya
Pohonlah kasih sayangNya
agar selamat dunia dan akhirat
Bagi mereka yang insaf dan
mahu bertaubat.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

It's this feeling again

2nd term ended. . .

haha... always feels like this during holidays. when there's no more work to be completed or datelines to be met (well, almost no more work). lost...

going to the library to return 3 thick books. . . 3 thick anatomy books. . . 2 are mine (borrowed it for myself, 1 for Man). . .

but I'm going back... spending time back home... yay :D

Sunday, March 15, 2009

why am I not panicking?

**took this from gray's

why should i be panicking?

1. there's an exam on tuesday. an important one which mean i should be revising. but instead i wasted most of my weekend doing something else. being a human, i'd really love to blame it on someone else who agreed to study together during the weekend... maybe the person forgot, or was merely saying but is not really interested in actually doing it, but hey, the onus is on me to study... so there's no point in playing the blame game, right. i just don't really like it when people don't to their words... or at least have the decency to actually tell me if you cannot make it. guess i'm just a petty matter...
2. i've not finished revising renal physiology and the anatomy practicals of the transport system. i've not gone through the self-directed learning and also the micrographs...
3. i'm writing a post for my blog which noone else ever read...
4. got a presentation on wednesday... and i'm suppose to finish my part and send it to my partner for her to look at it... but i haven't done it...

why am i not panicking?

1. could it be the remarks that i get from everyone that i told that i haven't finish doing my revision... it's usually either "it's you, nothing to fear"... or "yea, you just say that, but you'll score"... or "you're just saying that so that people will look up to you when you score the test later". no offence though, and no what they say are not true... coz well guess what... i am a human. nothing gets into my head except via the same route that they get into other people's head. i don't have a wireless or bluetooth to send information to my brain... although it would be really cool to have one :D
2. i have no idea...
3. could it be that my adrenaline gland isn't working properly? so my blood is lack of the fight or flight hormone... ergo, i'm too relaxed?
4. or could it be the brain that's not functioning well? any short-circuit? :P
5. the most probable cause is most likely myself... need some1 to nudge me. or just kick me hard so that i can get back to reality, where everything DOES matter!


Friday, March 13, 2009

Life is Wonderful - Jason Mraz

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life is meaningful
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life it wonderful
It is so meaningful
It is so wonderful
It is meaningful
It is wonderful
It is meaningful
It goes full circle
Full circle

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tatkala Dunia Terasa Sempit

وَاسْتَعِينُواْ بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاَةِ وَإِنَّهَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلاَّ عَلَى الْخَاشِعِينَ

2:45 And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah]

stressed out?
there's guidance from Allah
our Creator
surely He knows what's best for us
even more than we do
so seek Him in solving your problems
InsyaAllah it'll all unwind

إِنَّمَا يَأْمُرُكُمْ بِالسُّوءِ وَالْفَحْشَاء وَأَن تَقُولُواْ عَلَى اللّهِ مَا لاَ تَعْلَمُون
2:169 He (syaitan) only orders you to evil and immorality and to say about Allah what you do not know.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Time to get SERIUOS!

hehe. I deleted Warcraft 3 for the umpteenth time. Coz I couldn't help it and kept on installing it back into my green lappy! can't help it. the temptation's just unignorable.

it's 3.18 now... a.m., 8th of March. Just a week to go before the pre-spring break exam (fill in the blanks and spot test).

some1 made a remark about how long i slept during my supposedly revision session, and i can't seem to get it out of my head now. hehe XD. well don't worry about me, mate. hey I'm trying my best here... or am I not trying hard enough?

well. at this time, the most prominent sound is my yellow OSAWA "bell-clock", that have been serving my since my schooldays. and of course the sound made by my fingers as they straddle on the keyboard. occasionally i can hear a faint distant sound of someone talking. guess it's my housemate. perhaps taking to himself while memorising.

gaaaaahhh. im going to prepare for the exam. so i might as well continue, right? good day

Thursday, March 5, 2009


sama2 kita ambil iktibar...

janganlah matikan hati kita...
hidupkan... hidupkan...
dengan bacaan Al-Quran dan zikir...

byk2 sabar ye sblm tgk... sabar...

179. وَلَقَدْ ذَرَأْنَا لِجَهَنَّمَ كَثِيراً مِّنَ الْجِنِّ وَالإِنسِ لَهُمْ قُلُوبٌ لاَّ يَفْقَهُونَ بِهَا وَلَهُمْ أَعْيُنٌ لاَّ يُبْصِرُونَ بِهَا وَلَهُمْ آذَانٌ لاَّ يَسْمَعُونَ بِهَا أُوْلَـئِكَ كَالأَنْعَامِ بَلْ هُمْ أَضَلُّ أُوْلَـئِكَ هُمُ الْغَافِلُونَ

179. Dan sesungguhnya Kami jadikan untuk Neraka Jahanam banyak dari jin dan manusia yang mempunyai hati (tetapi) tidak mahu memahami dengannya (ayat-ayat Allah), dan yang mempunyai mata (tetapi) tidak mahu melihat dengannya (bukti keesaan Allah) dan yang mempunyai telinga (tetapi) tidak mahu mendengar dengannya (ajaran dan nasihat); mereka itu seperti binatang ternak, bahkan mereka lebih sesat
lagi; mereka itulah orang-orang yang lalai.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Azam bulan baru XD

Surah Hud 11:115

وَاصْبِرْ فَإِنَّ اللّهَ لاَ يُضِيعُ أَجْرَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

Dan sabarlah (wahai Muhammad, engkau dan umatmu, dalam mengerjakan suruhan Allah), kerana sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan menghilangkan pahala orang-orang yang berbuat kebaikan.

Harapan Tidak Buta - AlarmMe

Cukuplah rasanya. Sudah cukup banyak masa yang aku ambil. Aku datang ke bumi asing ini dengan 1001 harapan, dengan 1001 cita, dengan 1001 impian. Namun, memang biasa bagiku untuk mengambil masa yang agak lama untuk menyesuaikan diri. Aku lalui "testing period" sebagai pelajar di bumi Leeds ini. Cuba, walau melangkah dengan kecil, untuk mencari definisi kehidupanku di sini. Mencari erti dan tujuan, makna dan harapan.

Namun, tatkala aku mulai selesa, mula melihat cahaya2 kelam yang memandu arah tujuku, mula mendapat rentak menyesuaikan diri, ALLAH mendugaku. Ayah meninggal dunia.

Ali Imran, 3:185
كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَآئِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ وَإِنَّمَا تُوَفَّوْنَ أُجُورَكُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ فَمَن زُحْزِحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ الْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ وَما الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلاَّ مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ
"Setiap yang bernyawa akan merasakan mati. Dan hanya pada hari Kiamat sajalah diberikan dengan sempurna balasanmu. Barang siapa dijauhkan dari neraka dan dimasukkan ke dalam syurga, sungguh, dia memperoleh kemenangan. Kehidupan dunia hanyalah kesenangan yang memperdaya."

Ayat nih selalu kudengar. Tetapi tatkala mendapat berita tersebut, barulah terasa di hati... Pang! Macam budak yang bari belajar berdiri, dengan kaki menggeletar2 ditendang jatuh. Aku rasa semuanya berhenti. Segala definisi dan prinsip2 hidup yang kukutip sepanjang kehidupanku bertaburan, berkecai. Aku hilang arah. Lama memang lama, aku terbaring. Tidak mahu bangun, tidak mampu bangun... aku sendiri kurang pasti. Semuanya kacau-bilau...

Pasti, perkara sebesar ini meninggalkan kesan dalam diriku. Aku mula berubah. Sengaja atau tidak, sekali lagi aku tidak pasti. Tertekankah? Atau cuma mencari perhatian? Cepat melenting, hilang semangat. Laptop menjadi teman rapat... Aku mula melihat kesan2 taufan perasaan aku... Teruk. Tapi aku biarkan... biarkan... biarkan...

Aku mencari masa, mengubat luka yang tak nampak fizikalnya. Mengumpul cebis2 yang pecah... memasang kembali satu-persatu. Memang lambat. Aku bukan semudah itu dapat bangkit. Aku tahu kudratku terhad.

Hari ini... Aku berhadapan dengan diriku. Menjerit dengan kuat, "CUKUP!!! SAMPAI BILA??? CUKUPLAH!!!". Kini aku berdiri lagi. Kuharap, dengan bantuan ALLAH SWT, dengan lebih kukuh. InsyaALLAH.

Alhamdulillah, syukurku pada Allah. Yang masih menghendaki kebaikan untukku dan tidak pernah melupaiku walau aku selalu terlupa...
Terima kasih: Keluarga dan rakan2 yang sentiasa bersama.
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