Friday, December 19, 2008

in the end~ yea I'm being sceptical

the only person you can put ur trust and hope on is the person staring back at you when you stand in front of a mirror~ yourself

coz no matter how much you rely on people, and how much u think people cherish and value ur presence... they most probably are still thinking just about themselves~

we are selfish creatures~

maybe some people are just better off alone~

you can't be hurt if you don't connect with others~

coz sometimes the person whom you trust the most can hurt you~

and it hurts really badly~


take risk n be happy if the person is the right one~

or take risk and suffer if it isn't~

or hide away and don't take any risk~ but then where's life without risk?

cute sgt2

Controlling Anger -- Before It Controls You

We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.

What is Anger?

The Nature of Anger

Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

Expressing Anger

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone—or something—is going to get hurt."

Anger Management

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

Are You Too Angry?

There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.

Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?

According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.

Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"

Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.

It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay


Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.

Some simple steps you can try:

  • Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
  • Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
  • Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
  • Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.

Cognitive Restructuring

Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."

Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.

Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.

Problem Solving

Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. If you can approach it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.

Better Communication

Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your "significant other" wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don't retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.

It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger—or a partner's—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

Using Humor

"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirtbag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.

The underlying message of highly angry people, Dr. Deffenbacher says, is "things oughta go my way!" Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!

When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you'll also realize how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.

What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.

Changing Your Environment

Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire." After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.

Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself

Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just habit—try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don't turn into arguments.

Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child should clean up the room so I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.

Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a project—learn or map out a different route, one that's less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.

Do You Need Counseling?

If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.

When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management. Make sure this isn't only a course of action designed to "put you in touch with your feelings and express them"—that may be precisely what your problem is. With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the techniques used.

What About Assertiveness Training?

It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something that most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.

Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.

taken from:

Friday, December 12, 2008

1 out of... 15?

yesterday was the last day of school for the first term... by assuming that my 5 years of study will consist of 3 terms annually, there should be ummm..... 14? (trying to stress that i've not been crunching numbers for quite) 15 terms altogether... so that's one out of 15.

to me, the first is always one of the hardest. it's because of the adaptations required to get to the (at least) minimal required pace to keep on surviving. and overcoming the emotional distress... i'm aware that the workload will be increasing exponentially from now on, and my assumption that the first term as the hardest one could probably be proven wrong~

"yes i studied hard for the exam, ask my housemates"

moving on to the EMQ** exam. as the final holiday "present" for us, we had an exam on the last day. the best part is the fact that there's another test (an MCQ this time) on the first day of next term. it's just another conspiracy to impose in our minds that there's no "free" time for us medic students. i think they get sheer enjoyment by making us think about the exam all-holiday long~ not to mention the double essay to be handed in in the 2nd week~ procrastination kills!!!

anyways, the so-called "exam" was done in a very trusting environment, as we got to seat in groups of 5. i found it pretty hard to prevent myself from peeking at other people's answer as we were literally sitting right next to each other XD.

we then had a feedback session after the exam, on the same day. i think it should be called "did u answer correctly or not?" session as it was the disscussion session for the test we just took. if i remembered my answers correctly, i think i did quite well (maybe because i kept on peeking to other people's paper? who knows XD).

so i got to start my holiday with a wwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddddddeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee smile on my face (i.e. d^_____________________^b ), but bearing in mind that there's another paper after the holiday~

" uhh, yeah. the other day i was playing with my pal's iPhone and found this very cute pic of a white cat with very BIG eyes (not this one, duuhh). so i downloaded it without even asking for permission XD, can't help it~ the power that cats have over me, just so overwhelming~"

that's that! best of luck to those with impending exam~ work hard... and don't forget to pray harder~


Extended matching items/questions (EMI or EMQ) are a written examination format similar multiple choice questions but with one key difference, that they test knowledge in a far more applied, in depth, sense.

It is often used in medical education and other healthcare subject areas to test diagnostic reasoning. (grabbed from Wikipedia)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

malam test~

**Tribute to Mr Remy and his brand new CANON SLR camera... I do not out these pictures~ I merely stole them from him... ha3

The following pictures may be unappropriate and could causes uneasiness. Please do not scroll down if you have a weak heart, eating, or pregnant as the pictures may cause spontaneous puking and/or spontaneous abortion.

The writer is not to be held responsible for consequences of failing to heed this advice.

sume org bertungkus lumus menyumbat, menelan, dan memakan lecture notes dan worksession. sok ade test, 1st official test. agak2 akulah, kalau time blaja nih bole kuar letrik2 sket... mmg dah thunderstorm kat umah nih smlm... hehe.

6 org dak medic~ hehe... tetibe ade sorang nih datang bawak SLR barunye. lalu menyen"snap" org2 yg sedang bertungkus- lumus tadi~ hehe.

Auni: meluruskan 2 jari dan membengkokkan 3 yang lain~ cara menhafal yang berkesan

Hazman dan aku yg tgh pening2

nope... not a studying medic geek @@. just my phone~

Fer: Maintain macho~ Cuba untuk tidak senyum... takut ramai lak nnti yang pengsan bile tgk gamba nie~

Mukhlis: Buat2 senyum wpon tgh bercelaru ngan term2 yg byk~

apsal gambar nih x centre? haha... sbb tersalah pilih time upload....

me and my partner in crime at Leeds~ haha


happy that the exam's over. but the worst is yet to come. the first day of next term is the "real" nightmare, MCQ covering almost all the topics I've learnt so far. but for now, let's enjoy the holidays, shall we?

without me noticing it myself, i've "accidentally" stuffed my holiday one month holiday with activities~ plan up to today~ liverpool-ireland-back to leeds. scotland-back to leeds. then london-swiss-london-back to leeds. then most probably manchester~

wishing myself good luck for the MCQ paper. think i'll need it... haha :P

Friday, December 5, 2008

The Creepy Piano~ [some lessons learned :D]

There's this piano at the dining room (also the kitchen) of our house. Our landlord left it there, I'm not really sure why... Maybe he just got nowhere else to place it and finds it convenient to make our house as a makeshift "warehouse".

All 7 of us cannot play the piano well enough, but I'm pretty sure that all of us know the basic (that what's needed to make sounds out of it is by pressing on the keys XD). Occasionally we do get a visitor who had piano lessons, and can play it well...

That aside... There's this one night. I was "studying" alone in my very one "study room", also become my 2nd bedroom in some nights. OK2... It's actually the living room, but I've been lurking around to "study" as the exam is coming around in a few weeks' time. This room is adjacent to the kitchen, where the piano is...

It was around 3 or 4 am I think, when i suddenly heard someone "playing the piano". It sounded very nice~ "but, noone can play the piano like that", I thought. My heart started racing... I was alone... early in the morning... what should I do???

"The person kept on playing", it sounded so perfect... like a pro... I decided to peek into the kitchen... So i gathered all my courage and put a facade of bravery, and went out of my "study" room. With trembling hand, I grabbed the kitchen's door handle. I muttered Bismillahirrahmanirrahim and swung the door open~

I woke up with my heart racing. My laptop on the table is still on, playing Maxim's tracks. I was on the sofa. My spectacles and some papers I was reading earlier were on the floor in front of the sofa... Serve me right for:
1. Not turning off my laptop b4 sleeping
2. Not setting aside the "studying" to sleep when it's time to sleep.

well, that's it. I'd like to make it clear that the story is the improvised version of what I can vaguely remember :D. I would also like to clarify that I used the " " for study because my definition of that word is NOT as in the dictionary~


study : occasional reading of some random pieces of paper while facebooking, listening to songs or music, watching cartoons or videos online, playing games, chatting, talking (if someone's willing to sacrifice his study time to waste time with me).

(excerpt from: Munzir's unreliable Dictionary, 1th Edition)

Friday, November 28, 2008

Of Pizza and Stitching

hehe... ini pizza pertama (yang dibuat tanpa bantuan Mama ^_^) dalam usahaku menjadi seorang baker yang berjaya ~
Thx Mama for teaching me how to make this pizza. And for literally teaching me how to live...

tp pizza nih terlame masak... maka sebahagiannya agak gelap. Bukan salah pembantu kedaiku (haha -_-") yang hanye mengintai melalui tingkap kecik oven... Ntah2 rentung trus kalau aku yang jage sendiri...

huhu... tragedi. mozarella yang aku bli kne bukak :(... n bile nk gune dah bau susu masam... uuuummmm..... sapalah punye keje nih. tp salah ak kot. sape suh x bgtau yang ak bli tuh khas untuk wat pizza...... cheese tuh x tahan lame, pas bukak kne abihkan in 2 day's time...... mayb coz it's grated, I'm not sure. But I bought that one because its cheaper than the block@cube one. So I had to go out and buy another packet for this pizza.... terpaksalah menapak ke MORRISSON'S. btul ke aj eja tuh? don't care XD.

back to the sedikit gelap topic... ak ade kelas menjahit harituh... jadi x dapat tunggu sampai pizza masak... seronok, tp ssh gile XD... kalau boleh pegang gne tangan je kan best... ssh2 je nk gne scissors untuk pegang jarum tuh... yang paling best nak matikan jahitan tuh... nmpk amat complicated... sapelah yang cipta cara nih... hehe. btw, nih bukan kelas formal pun kelas persatuan shj... sejam je, belaja jahitan paling basic (yang paling senang la, won x semudah mne, senget2 ak buat... haha). kalau luke2 jangan la carik aku ye.... :P

Monday, November 24, 2008

Gelora Jihad

"satu peringatan kepada semua dan diriku terutamanya yang lalai"

Dititipkan gelora berjihad
Dengan keasyikan cinta dan kemuliaan hati
Indah bergemerlapan memayungi
Mengajari kalimah pengorbanan

Sentiasa benar islam itu agama Allah
Kini ia terasing dibelenggu zaman
Kini ia terasing diratah serigala
Islam hilang watak jihadnya

Tetapi dengarkanlah wahai angin
pemuda jihad mulakan menapak langkah
bangkitkan gelora gelisahmu
tiada bagi kita kota lena

This lyric is made by a friend of mine, Hazman~ I DO NOT own the copyright~

Sunday, November 23, 2008

lantaran persepsi~


ak plik knape lepas ak letak entry yang bunyik mcm xnk buat entry dah, makin banyak pulak ak buat entry... xde niat nk menipu... cme itu yg ak rase time menulis... luahan hati semata...

kenapa ye kadang2 kite suke ming"impose" persepsi kita pada org lain. x kesahlah kalau masing2 ade pandangan sendiri... tp ak nyampah kalau org paksa ak terima ape pendapat@pandangan dorang... jangan salah paham, ak bukan x suke dengar pendapat org... ak suke je kalau org share pendapat dorang, at least i can see the world from a different perspective.

cme kadang2 bile dah start bersemangat/terlalu yakin dengan pandangan dan persepsi sendiri, we start to judge others and label them. bukan ak nk cakap ak x buat bende nih. it's human nature to put labels to people (at least this is what i think). But alangkah baiknye kalau label tersebut dapat kite simpan hanya sebagai label... x kite zahirkan pada org lain, terutamanya pada yang dilabel sbb kadang2 ade org yg hatinye mudah terluka kat certain2 issue...

ak sedar ak pon 2 kali 5... kadang terlupa kluar juga kata2 x sepatutnye... kadang marah sampai terlupa pengorbanan/pertolongan org yang dimarah itu pada ak... kadang stress ak treat org lain cam sampah... kadang pentingkan diri sampai x kesah perasaan org laen...

kadang terasa ilmu tinggi sampai terlupe pandangan sendiri amat terbatas... lupe yang ak juge pelakon di pentas hidup... ak juge hanya nothingness... suke judge org dari ape yg terpapar semata....... die buat itu, die camni... die x pegi situ, die camtuh... die ikut itu, die ini org camni...

but in the end... sape kite? diri sendiri pon masih byk yg blom pasti... inikan pula nak menilai org laen... remy ajak makan... better stop my babbling here~ teehee

ouh... mintak maaf kalau ade yg terase... xberniat melukakan sesiapa... walau selalu melukakan, meski x berniat~ sbb ak bukan insan perfect... coz insan perfect is an oxymoron... at least i think so.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Change? (a poem with nice pics :D)

Mahasuci Allah yang menguasai (segala) kerajaan, dan Dia Mahakuasa atas segala sesuatu. Yang menciptakan mati dan hidup, untuk menguji kamu, siapa di antara kamu yang lebih baik amalnya, dan Dia Mahaperkasa, Mahapengampun. (Al-Mulk, 67:1-2)

changes is a must... I can't be the same person throughout my whole life. Neither can you, nor anyone else in that matter.

but let's just hope that the changes that we take upon...
in our journey to get through this life...
a game which is very vivid and looks very real...

Ketahuilah, sesungguhnya kehidupan dunia ini hanyalah permainan dan sendagurau... (Al-Hadid, 57:20)

will not be a hindrance for us....
to get our final destination...

there, there will be no regret...

Dan mereka berkata, "sekiranya (dahulu) kami mendengarkan atau memikirkan (peringatan itu), tentulah kami tidak termasuk penghuni neraka yang menyala-nyala". Maka mereka mengakui dosanya. Tetapi jauhlah (dari rahmat Allah) bagi penghuni neraka yang menyala-nyala itu. (67:10-11)

i take that back...
there will be regret...
lots and lots of them....
but it's gonna be pointless...
as we embark to the next life...
there's no turning back...

but look at the trees on top...
still alive and well...
later they're gonna shed their leaves...
and put on the facade of dead trees...
but we all know one day...
that the leaves are gonna grow again...
and the tree became lively as ever...

but do we take any effort...
to think and ponder...
that's the reminder of death...
showing right in front of our eyes...

yet most failed to relate...
that if it befall upon us...
that's it.

(I know it doesn't rhyme, but at least it's not hollow)

moral: don't be consumed by worldly pleasures and become those who despair later... XD.

semoga kita dapat meletakkan dunia di tangan, dan akhirat dijunjung. sebab bile yang dijunjung bergoyang nak jatuh... yang kat tgn akan dilepaskan sebentar untuk memegang yang dijunjung...

Thursday, November 20, 2008


Pic: Sloth -.-
Just imagine my face there... should give a clear idea of what I've been doing... think this one's still alive. This guy's just naturally a slow mover. I can move faster than a sloth though...

Think I've been neglecting my studies (it's almost 3 months since I first set foot on the foreign land).... huhu... too much playing around XD. 3 weeks till the summative exam (right before the winter hols)... note: summative means its important... hehe

Too many distractions... I was caught off guard.

Now I must focus... Just finished indexing all the lecture slides (up to the today's). Oh... and I deleted Garena, an EVIL software made especially for the weak-hearted to stay off the real world, if U know what I mean. Oh... why must games be so tempting?? haha

And yeah... minimal amount of fbook, blog, game, hovering in other people's room, walking aroung city centre, bowling, movies, shopping, TV series, washing dishes 'o' (this is probably the last post for this term).

To make matters worse, I have 3 essays in queue -.-" (did I sign up for the wrong course??? I was quite sure it says MEDICINE instead of JOURNALISM, rofl....)

there's still time.... Pray for me XD

p/s: this is definitely NOT an exaggeration of my current condition. although I'm quite sure most of you readers would think so... coz I wouldn't have time to post an entry if I'm really THAT desperate, would I?

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Hidayah milik Allah

Baru saja meninjau2 youtube...

melihat video2 tentang saudara2 yang memeluk Islam...

terasa pula betapa aku yang sedia Islam ini sangat mengabaikan pemberian nikmat yang tiada tolok bandingnya ini...

sedang mereka bersusah payah mencari kebenaran dan mempersoalkan agama asal mereka sebelum diberikan hidayah untuk memeluk Islam...

this particular video... wpon xde video, cume suara sahaja amat menyentuh hati... kerana saudari ini menangis tatkala bercerita mengapa dia memeluk Islam...

semoga kita mengambil pengajaran... Wallahualam

Friday, October 31, 2008

Here n there...

These are several places that I've been to in the past about two months... Some just to travel, others to attend programmes...



Meadowhall. On the way back from Fresher's Camp.


Leicester: Hazman, Pejai, Me and Remy

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Death and after-life

video yang cukup menyentuh hati. thx to pejai sbb bg link nih kat aku. smoge dapat memberi iktibar buat semua!

Nashid: Azab Ilahi

Azab Ilahi - Irsyadee

(Doa Dalam Bahasa Arab)
(lirik doa dalam bahasa Arab)

Lapangkanlah hatimu dalam musibah
Dan bersabarlah di jalan Allah
Jangan hanya memeluk dunia fana
Yang bersalut dengan dosa

Ingat azab neraka
Akan mengejarmu saat kau mati
Jadi jujurlah harungi hidup ini
Jauhi azab Ilahi

Bersyukurlah selalu
Dan jangan ragu
Nescaya jauh azabmu

Monday, October 20, 2008

Meeting Patients

Today, I spent 2 hours for patient visit. i.e. the patients come and visit us in the medical school, not the other way round. This is as a part of our PPD (Personal and Professional Development) module. I'll also be going for a community visit next Friday.

On to the topic, we had 4 patients coming to our group, 2 at a time. The main objective of this particular session is an insight for us future doctors to know what patients want and expect of us. Although 4 of them can't really represent everyone, at least it gave us some idea.

One patient's respond to a question that I find quite astonishing is when asked whether she would prefer a doctor who is a good communicator or a good clinician. She answered a good communicator is obviously her choice.

They expect a doctor to be human and treat patients as a person instead of just numbers on the chart. They wouldn't mind if the doctor do not know as there is always an opportunity to refer to other doctors who are more experienced and knowledgeable.

I left the class feeling quite good, and I'm positive I've chosen the right path for my future :D, insyaAllah.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Face to face~

Starting to get the feel of being a medical student in the University of Leeds Medical School.
I'm thankful that Allah has chosen me to be here and to have this golden opportunity.

On to the topic, yesterday i had an opportunity to meet a man, who is HIV positive. We were in small groups and were given the chance to hear about the discrimination and stigma put upon them. He happen contracted the virus about a year ago, due to a stabbing incident. And he got sacked... Even his family turn his back on him. When warded, they place a sign (not a subtle one, according to him) stating that he's HIV positive. Is it the right treatment for them? Aren't they human who deserve the same treatment from other?

The medication taken to control HIV have nasty side-effects: severe depression, diarrhea, dizziness and many other side effects. There are a myraid of effects which differs between drugs. He told us that he understands why some people with HIV choose not to take medication instead.

Of course HIV is can spread to others. But surely not by touching or being in the same room with them. Some maybe made a wrong choice in their life, but who hasn't? A portion of HIV positive even got them by accident. Wrong blood transfusion, exposure to infected blood, etc. Is it justifiable then to assume that they are all bad people, because HIV is kind related to drug abuse and random sex. Both are haram according to Islam, yet treatment centres (is this the right term for pusat serenti?) in Malaysia are still flooded with Malays, something to think about.

What puzzles me is even in the western culture where drug usage and having fun are more acceptable, people with HIV are still discriminated against.

Don't get me wrong, I'm merely suggesting for us to open our minds and look at the matter from a wider view. Not even hinting to accept any wrong behavior. What's wrong stays wrong. But why not help a needy hand? I'm sure getting HIV is a harsh enough punishment, why must the society sentence them to a life-long hardship?

Actually meeting him and speaking, asking questions really made me more aware of the situation they're facing. And he is no different to other people. Maybe even better because he cannot consume alcohol due to the type of medication he's on.

miss them~

Nah... i dont need to write anything here
the title says it all :D

Friday, October 10, 2008

Kau inspirasi~

Diriku berlari
Kejar buih di kaki sirahmu
Malangnya tak jumpa
Hilang ditelan ombak masa

Lelah aku
Dan termangu di sini
Mencari sinar

Ku cuba mengutip
Butir bistari di pesisir kalammu
Inginku sematkan
Menghiasi dada kehidupanku

lalu terang destinasi abadi
Di hujung langkahku

Kau inspirasi
Jiwa nan suci
Inginku terus selami

Di dasar dirimu kilau cahaya
Mutiara putih
Menyinar ke dalam lubuk jiwa
Nan gelap gelita

Di dasar dirimu
Karang indah
Halus penuh seni
meneguh perjuangan kebenaran
Hikmah pekerti

Kau inspirasi
Permata hati
Ingin ku terus dekati

Kau inspirasi
Walau kau pergi
Namun ku tetap di sini..

welcome junior doctors

well i made it to the UK, to do my dream course Medicine.

only time will tell whether I'll make it though this phase.

what now?

do i just study like i did in the pass?

culture shock? to tell the truth, i think I'm more shocked by the cultures of malaysian here rather than the brits. Or could it just be me being naive and immature?

confused? of course I am... there's just too many things here to comprehend and make sense (most i still couldn't)

but staying here surely opens my eyes that faith and religion isn't important to some people... and hedonistic behavior and lifestyle is very dominant in humans nowadays...

how can someone fell satisfied with a life without a greater purpose? a purpose that goes beyond the life on Earth?

will i be fine here? they academic staffs keeps on reminding us (medical students) that they consider us as junior doctors... and tht our profession as a doctor begins now~ and that there's not much space to play around and study just to pass exams like before~ and that everything we'll be learning are to be remembered for the rest of our lives~

on the other hand, they can't seem to refrain themselves from arousing unnecessary (in my opinion, feel free to disagree) feeling of uneasiness among us by plainly telling us about the dropout percentage, future workload, etcetera. XD

well... that's almost 4 weeks here in leeds

the most noticeable change is of course the extremely (sometimes) cold weather~ especially when it rains~

i'm also finding it hard to mix around in class... as most of them are local students... who speaks english just as easy as we borak kat warung kopi kot.... x yah pon pikir ape!

but well.... i'll definitely give my best... dis is it, i dreamt of being here for years... and yes it was a great motivation for me to move on... whenever an obstacle stands in my way, and whenever disappointment slapped my right in the face~

hope I'll survive, coz i'm a survivor!

manusia nih betul ke satu spesies??

haha... kadang2 terpk betape pliknye manusia nih...

banyak perkara bole timbul... hanye disebabkan:
-gene pool yang sedikit berbeza antare satu same laen~
-pendapat yg sdikit berbeza ngan org len~
-kepercayaan yg laen2~

plik2... satu2nye spesies yang bole menghancurkan spesies sendiri tanpa tujuan kemandirian spesies... alsn2 bodo ntah ape2 bole digunakan untuk membolehkan bende2 yang x bole~

kadang2 kte kne la gak bukak sikit minda, terima orang len seadenye... wpon kita kadang2 rase diri kita baek, sukup baek untuk judge org len dan menegur org len, jgn la sampai ke tahap kite rase kite aje yg btul... n org len always on the wrong side... x adil kan??

kite sume ade jalan masing2, percaturan hidup masing2... ingatlah ape yg kte ade skang x semestinye kekal milik kte di mase depan...

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

transition transition transition

Life's all about phases. At least that's the case with my life. I move from one phase to another, and another, and another.

And yeah to me the hardest parts are always the beginning and the end. The beginning is when I'm starting somewhere new, primary school for examples. Where everyone around me were unfamiliar and alien. But primary school wasn't that bad because technically I still live at home where the environment is pretty much familiar and safe. So transition wasn't that bad. I think I didn't even shed a tear (mayb, hehe)

Moving onto secondary school, which was a boarding school was a bit of a shock to me. Being the youngest of four siblings (till 2000 that is, when my mother gave birth to me dear little sis), I guess I got used to relying on others. Luckily my bros were in the same school, coz I was seriously thinking about leaving during the torturous orientation week. If it weren't for them, I am pretty sure I would have left the school. But I got used to living in a hostel and I sure am glad I didn't leave during the transition period, or I would've missed so much invaluable experiences. The truth is, transition at my secondary school wasn't that hard either for I had 2 bros looking after me ^_^.

Then it's National Service. Full blow I would say. But still there's some friends from my secondary school. Although they were not in the same company as me, they sure helped a lot.

Then there's college. I would say the hardest transition period I've experienced (so far). It took months for me to be able to feel "at home" there. I kept on thinking whether my deciding to go there was a good idea. The fact that I'm (or I was, not too sure now) not really a friendly kind of person made it even worse. Plus the burden of the studies which are of course harder compared to secondary school's level. But I survived (barely!).

Next to come is university... In a land far far away. Should be going there in 10 day's time... for a new chapter in my life... and I expect it to be one of the biggest and hardest and most challenging... Hope to do well there.

The only thing that made the transitions (at whatever level) easier is of course friends. A stranger who happened to cross path with me, who happened to be studying at the same place, or have the same interest, or in some cases are just meant to be my friend through some unlikely circumstances. And they made all the difference.

Yet having friends (especially close ones) always make the last part of the chapter so hard and unbearable. I usually kept on thinking bout them days after the school or college is over. But I sure am lucky that there's cell phones and internet these days... so keeping in touch is just a matter of moving these fingers and thumb :P (Tribute to all my friends: thank you so much for being you!)

Well, change is inevitable... whether we like it or not!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

kalau nak jadik tu... jadik jugak

ini kesah visa aku... yang cukup perit untuk diceritakan...

ak nak ke UK, so kne la apply visa...
tp visa ak telah direjek... dan aku terpakselah apply sebijik lagi...

citernye begini... coincident2 yang berlaku... hingga membawa kepada perijekan visa application aku...
1. uni hantar salah surat.
2. ble uni nak anta suray tang btol, aku kasik la no fax
3. tapi die fax lambat sehari
4. so aku terpakse la gune surat yang salah nih
5. actualy dah wat appointment hari isnin, tp gi gak hari jumaatnye (walk in aje)
6. maka aku pon send la application visa tuh ngan surat yg aku sbnrnye dah tergerak pon mayb akan mengganggu gugat proses pemvisaan ini.
7. lame aku tunggu... 1o hari kot (termasuk cuti)
8. last2 x lepas visa tu.
9. yang bestnye... kawan ak yang anta hari same dan gune surat same... lepas la pulak
10. so aku conclude yang die nih punye application dicek oleh manusia lain... bukan yang cek aku punye
11. aku marah2 gak bile tau visa tu x lepas... huhu. beselah kan?
12. tp akhirnye ak terima la... mayb ade hikmah disebaliknye

"Setiap bencana yang menimpa di bumi dan yang menimpa diri kamu sendiri, semuanya telah tertulis dalam Kitab (Lauh mahfuz) sebelum Kami mewujudkannya. Sungguh, yang demikian itu mudah bagi Allah. Agar kamu tidak bersedih hati terhadap apa yang luput dari kamu, dan tidak pula terlalu gembira terhadap apa yang diberikan-Nya kepadamu. Dan Allah tidak menyukai orang-orang yang sombong dan membangga diri"

Surah Al-Hadid: 22-23

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Profile: Ayam Putih

Ini biodata seekor ayam, yang bermastautin di halaman rumahku tanpa diundang. Akhirnya kami menerimanya dengan penganugerahan nama timangan. Memang nama haiwan2 di rumahku biasanya berdasarkan kepada fizikal haiwan tersebut.

nama sebenar: tidak diketahui. Kerana ayam ini datang secara tiba-tiba.

nama gelaran: Ayam Putih

asal: unknown juga.

hobi: -berkokok pada waktu2 pelik untuk menyakitkan hati seisi rumah,
-bertenggek di atas pohon mangga di halaman rumah sambil bersosial dengan burung-burung diatas pokok mangga. Mungkin kerana menghidapi krisis identiti (menyangka dirinya seekor burung)

keistimewaan: -mampu memanjat pokok mangga yang tinggi,
-boleh memaksa penghuni rumah memberikan makanan kepadanya dengan cara berkokok di tingkap sehingga makanan diberikan.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

IMAM pre-dept briefing

I went to IMAM (islamic medical association of malaysia) organized briefing to fill 2 days of my multidays holiday (which is coming to an end pretty soon). i figured i could use some motivation before actually starting my 5 years Medicine course in Leeds, insyaAllah.

it turned out to be better than i expected, as i ended up being more fired-up than ever. i really hope that this eagerness will last and i will be able to invoke this feeling of surety and enthusiasm whenever i feel down in the future.

the speakers are spectacular individuals, whom despite being so busy as doctors, are willing to spend time with us future medical students. they even answer phone calls from the hospital during their speech (this shows how busy they r).

it was only for two days one night, but being there was really worth it. here are some gists and pieces i would like to share... for us to ponder (especially those doing medicine). may these help you face the challenges ahead...

-medicine is a field that would make us realize how weak and powerless we are, and that humans do have limits despite what we use to hear. especially when something go wrong and a patient has to suffer or pass away. so at all time, we must submit to Allah and crave for His help in everything that we do.

-good doctors should not treat patients as diseases that needs to be cured or as a malfunctioning machine that needs repairing. so treat people as people.

-you either become a good doctor, or don't become one as u're dealing with lives and lousy doctor who couldn't care less aren't suppose to become one in the first place.
well... if u blow up a computer you can always make another one, but when someone dies that's it. end of story. so. yeah... it's important to be a good one if u've decided to become one.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Journey Down Memory Lane (Part 4)

These are pictures of the playground in my neighbourhood. But all the equipments are different from what I used to play. There were conventional wood and metal see-saw, swings, (what do you call gelongsor in English??), monkey rack and some big colourful cylinders. Noe mostly are made of plastics as can be seen in the pictures.

Children loves playground a lot. We can even tell from the name. Most children have the same interest... play. So playground is the place they would rather be. Me too...

If I'm not mistaken, my parents would only allow us to go out at 5.30pm and we're expected to be home at 6.30pm. On those days that we decided to play at the playground instead of the other places mentioned in earlier posts, we would. But there's always sort of a seasons in what we play. At one time, glass beads would be the "in" thing, and many would bring beads to the playground to play.

Other times we play soccer or "chase-chase". haha. About that, I once fell while playing "chase-chase" at the playground. Something to do with the see-saw. I think I somehow tripped when I stepped on it as someone else was stepping on the other side... think so. Well, don't blame me for not remembering... It was a long time ago. Anyways, I fell headfirst and cut my lips. It wasn't so bad (I think, haha).

Journey Down Memory Lane (Part 3)

This is a piece of land in front of my house, which has nothing except some tree planted by my neighbours who likes planting trees. Back then, it wasn't like this... full of undergrowths and "lalang".

Wait... It WAS like that. Before it was "explored" by a group of kids (one of them was yours truly). I remembered it was full of "lalang", which was very tall as compared to my height. We used a door, which I couldn't remember how we got hold of it, must've been thrown out by someone. It's actually pretty easy... put the door on top of them and jump over it until all the tall and scary "lalang" lay flat beneath it. The best part was, we didn't just clear the space, but we made pathways and small so-called rooms. The area is quite vast so it sort of become our secret base. LOL

And I guess it's because of us, the children playing there that the adults decided to cut it all... at least it'll be safer for us to play. Can't really remember the details , but I am quite sure that we always have something to do. Play with the leaves... the soil... the latex of my neighbour's jack fruit tree... train our ninja skills (ninja go!)... ohhh the memories... -.-

And as far as I can remember, I couldn't recall any accidents happening here. So it's all good memories... haha :D

Friday, July 25, 2008

feeling sad because of sth? anyting?

"Setiap bencana yang menimpa di bumi dan yang menimpa diri dirimu sendiri, semuanya telah tertulis dalam Kitab (Lauh Mahfuz) sebelum kami mewujudkannya. Sungguh, yang demikian itu mudah bagi Allah. Agar kamu tidak bersedih hati terhadap apa yang luput dari kamu, dan tidak pula terlalu gembira terhadap apa yang diberikan-Nya kepadamu. Dan Allah tidak menyukai setiap orang yang sombong dan membangga diri." Surah al-Hadid: 22 - 23

well... i guess it's just normal. having feelings makes us humans. we feel sad when we don't get what we hoped for. we feel sad when the events happening around us is not in our favour and we can't do anything about it.

not that we don't know that it's life's rule. C'est la vie. things change as time passas by. but sometimes it is hard for certain people to embrace the changes and adapt to it. we make friends and wants to hold on to the friendship, but people change... everyone change.

just merely throwing out my thoughts, as i personally feels quite hard to adapt to changes. but i know, as a helpless and weak being, all i can do is to hope for the best and pray for their success, wherever they are.

with our limited knowledge and views, we will only want for the best to happen. and we can only choose the best option based on our opinion and limited knowledge. just bear in mind that Allah knows everything, and what we know could always be wrong. do something and pray, don't lose faith in Allah, for He is just and all knowing.

let's ponder on an analogy here. humans can make something, such as chair or robot. try listing out the differences that shows far inferior the things that humans make and the human, who's the maker. robots can't even move without proper programming, they don't breathe, can't eat, can't learn, can't grow and so on. just imagine how much more superior our Creator is, being able to create humans, who don't even know every bits of detail about ourselves. just think about it.

some verses from the Quran:

"...dan boleh jadi kamu benci akan sesuatu, sedang is lebih baik bagimu; dan boleh jadi kamu kasihi sesuatu, sedang ia mudarat kepadamu. Dan Allah mengetahui, tetapi kamu tidak mengetahui." Surah Al-Baqarah: 216

"... dan janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiadalah yang berpututs asa dari rahmat Allah, melainkan kaum yang kafir." Surah Yusuf: 87

"...Dan Dia (Tuhan) tetap bersama-samamu walau di mana jua kamu berada...." Surah Al-Hadid: 4


Monday, July 7, 2008

Terlepas Pandangkah Kita?

Allah SWT telah menurunkan kitab suci Al-Qur'an kepada umat manusia sebagai satu kitab panduan. Dia menyeru manusia agar berpegang kepada kitab ini sebagai jalan untuk mendapatkan kebenaran. Bermula saat ianya diwahyukan sehingga ke saat pengadilan kelak, kitab suci ini akan kekal sebagai satu-satunya panduan bagi umat manusia.

Sebagai seorang Islam kita dianugerahkan sebuah kitab agung yang lengkap dan tiada cacat cela. Al-Quran yang diwahyukan oleh Allah SWT kepada nabi Muhammad SAW, dengan perantaraan Jibril merupakan perlembagaan kepada hidup seorang muslim. Marilah kita bertanya kepada diri masing2, sudahkah habiskah dibaca segala isi yang terkandung di dalam kitab agung itu? Membaca di sini bukan hanya bertadarrus, yang mungkin telah ramai yang telah khatam bertadarrus. Tetapi berapa ramai yang memahami maksud baris2 ayat yang kita baca? Itu baru maksud, belum tafsirannya lagi.

Mungkinkah kita terlalu asyik dengan buku-buku lain, sehingga terlupa menghabiskan kitab terawal yang kita kenal dalam hidup ini. Novel beratus2 halaman boleh habis dibaca dalam jangkamasa yang cukup pendek, bagaimana pula dengan Al-Quran? Cukupkah sekadar kita mengakui beriman dengan Al-Quran dan Kitab2 Allah SWT yang lain, sedangkan kita sendiri pun tidak pasti apa yang terdapat di dalamnya? Marilah kita renung2kan.

Apa yang harus menjadi perhatian dan pengajaran kepada kita semua ialah andainya AL-Quran yang mengandungi Wahyu Ilahi itu tidak diambil lagi sebagai pegangan hidup, maka Allah s.w.t. akan menghapuskan dan mengambilnya kembali dari tulisan dan ingatan kita. Sebagaimana ditegaskan oleh Allah s.w.t. di dalam Al-Quran:

Yang bermaksud: Dan sesungguhnya jika kami menghendaki, nescaya kami lenyapkan apa yang telah kami wahyukan kepadamu, dan dengan penyelapan itu kamu tidak akan mendapat seorang pembelapun terhadap kami. (Surah al-Isra': 86)

sabda Rasulullah s.a.w.:
Maksudnya: Bacalah AL-Quran wahai umatku kerana Al-Quran akan datang pada hari Qiamat memberi syafaat kepada pembacanya daripada kemurkaan dan azab Allah s.w.t.

Maksudnya: Dan kami turunkan dengan beransur-ansur dari Al-Quran ayat-ayat suci yang menjadi penawar dan rahmat bagi orang-orang yang beriman, dan (sebaliknya) Al-Quran tidak menambahkan (apa-apa) kepada orang yang zalim (disebabkan keingkaran mereka) melainkan kerugian semata-mata. (Surah al-Isra': 82)


Friday, July 4, 2008

Bisikan Malam - UNIC

Bila ku didatangi malam
Gelora perasaan mencengkam dijiwa
Masihkah ada lagi
Dayaku menghindar dari kealpaan

Diterjah berbagai persoalan
Dihujani airmata penyesalan
Bisakah terhapus semua
Segala dosa-noda yang bertakhta

Terangi jalan hidupku
Dengan cahaya kasih Mu
Pimpinlah daku dengan hidayah Mu

Di malam syahdu ku merayu
Ampunilah segala dosaku yang lalu
Sujud ku mendambakan keredhaan Mu
Tempatkan daku di dalam rahmat Mu

Ya Allah tunjukkan jalan kebenaran
Suburkan jiwa ku dengan keimanan
Hanya pada Mu Oh Tuhan
Ku sandarkan harapan

Usah Kau biarkan diri ku
Hanyut terleka, di jiwa dunia membelenggu
Dan aku sesungguhnya pasrah pada Mu
Hidup matiku hanyalah untuk Mu

Ya Allah tunjukkan jalan kebenaran
Suburkan jiwa ku oh Tuhan dengan keimanan
Hanya pada Mu Oh Tuhan
Ku sandarkan harapan

Monday, June 30, 2008

Journey Down Memory Lane (Part 2)

There's this river that flows near my house... At least I consider it as a river. But it looked kind of like a drainage or waterway of some sort...

My brothers and I and our childhood friends, we used to play there. We fish, we play, we cross the river a lot using the cylindrical bridge, we jumped across, we play Styrofoam boat there.

Once I almost drowned there. But obviously I didn't because if I did, I wouldn't be in front of this computer writing about it. I didn't know how to swim back then, and I couldn't really recall what happened clearly. As far as I can still remember, we were playing somewhere near the edge of so-called river, when I stepped on the grass at the end, which i thought was solid ground underneath it. Guess I was careless, and yes I paid the price... I was beneath the surface in a matter of seconds. Panic, I frantically waved my hand and my bro grabbed it and pulled me up.

I couldn't imagine if I were alone on that day... *gulp* Came home wet, guess what happened next? Of course I got reprimanded. Huhu. How i miss those carefree days!!!

Friday, June 13, 2008

A Journey Down Memory Lane (Part 1)

I spend a considerable amount of time outside during my childhood days. Maybe because I don't have my cute and adorable laptop to keep me company. haha. (As I was bored with DOTA and internet surfing and youtubing and shaiyaing) I decided to go out to the real world, where I used to spend my time with my siblings and friends back in primary school.

It was shocking to see the places where I've spent most of my childhood time as they were totally different back then compared to now. This also means that I haven't been out of the house for quite a long time. Come to think of it, I've been spending most of my time at home in the house, without really giving any thought of what's happening outside.

Readers, if you do not want to spend your precious time reading about how I spent my time years ago (when I was about 6 to ten years old, coz the fun stops after ten in my case), you better stop now. Go click the back button or turn open any game or go to your facebook or friendster profile now. Haha.

This is the picture of my house compound (bigger version). Just like any other kids, I like to spend my time here with my siblings and friends. If you look at the picture closely, there are two big mango trees. Of course back then, they weren't THAT BIG. We (of course this refers to my parents) planted them when we moved here in 1994. They were very small, and there are not many trees around. I still remember how small there were, couldn't have been taller than I am now. But look at them now.

I remembered my siblings and I (four of us at that time) once planted four pineapple trees (one tree each). We arranged them in a line and took care of them. But they died in the end.

Now the mango trees are old, and we've tasted the fruits they bore on numerous occasions (the fruits were always very sweet). I don't think it's going to produce anymore though, coz it's been a while I think since the last time (I guess the trees are too old already XD). That's all for now. There'll be more coming.

Next: A horrific traumatic event that nearly costs me my life (as I remember it).

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Death, the ultimate destination of life on Earth.

كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ وَنَبْلُوكُمْ بِالشَّرِّ وَالْخَيْرِ فِتْنَةً وَإِلَيْنَا تُرْجَعُونَ
Every soul shall have a taste of death: and We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. to Us must ye return.

Al-Qur'an, 021.035 (Al-Anbiya [The Prophets])

Text Copied from DivineIslam's Qur'an Viewer software v2.910

Every person on earth live a life of their own, in their own unique way. But the starting and the ending is the same for everyone. Birth and death. Although there are several ways of labour (normal, breech, caesarean (as in the picture), etcetera) and situations/conditions that could lead to death, it all leads to the same thing. Labour/birth brings a new life to the face of the Earth, while death takes away a life from the it.

Growth that takes place between the two events is a very slow process, and we experience subtle changes that we could only be aware of when we look at old pictures. Nobody can discern how someone have changed in a week's time.

Some people consider humans as a complex machine. A group of complex parts joined together, controlled by an amazingly high-tech supercomputer (aka the brain). But as we all are aware of, this "machine" can only be turned on, and once it is turned off, there's no way of getting it back to life again. So when there's a fatal error, that's it for us. There's no rebooting whatsoever.

I guess it's high time for us to really think of what's our true purpose in life, and what do we really want to achieve within our limited time (which, I would like to point out could be a long or a short one) we have. So let us try our best to achieve our goals in life, while remembering that our lives have an ultimate goal, that we inevitably cannot run away from. Wallahualam.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Tazkirah Remaja: Al-Quran, zikir ubat hati

KINI, banyak penyakit ganjil yang menyerang dengan pelbagai nama dan tanda mula dikesan. Manusia sangat takut dengan penyakit. Maklumlah penyakit mendatangkan derita, kecacatan, kekurangan malah kematian.

Dalam kesibukan menjaga kesihatan dan pencegahan manusia terhadap penyakit fizikal, penyakit rohani pula menyerang. Penyakit fizikal jika terkena tahu tempat berubatnya, boleh berjumpa doktor tetapi jika terkena penyakit rohani, hendak berjumpa siapa?

Payah benar hendak jumpa guru yang murabbi! Bila jumpa doktor, biasanya ada ubat dan penawarnya tetapi penyakit hati apakah ubatnya?

Walaupun ada al-Quran dan hadis yang memberikan cadangan mengenainya, berapa ramai yang 'berkenan'? Menelan kepahitan membaca al-Quran, qiyamullail, berpuasa dan sebagainya.

Sebagai muhasabah mengenai penyakit rohani, elok juga kita meneliti sebuah hadis yang menjadi pesanan Rasulullah s.a.w kepada menantunya Saidina Ali r.a:

"Wahai Ali, setiap sesuatu pasti ada penyakitnya: Penyakit bicara adalah bohong, penyakit ilmu adalah lupa, penyakit ibadah adalah riak, penyakit akhlak mulia adalah kagum kepada diri sendiri, penyakit berani adalah menyerang, penyakit dermawan adalah mengungkap pemberian, penyakit tampan adalah sombong, penyakit bangsawan adalah membanggakan diri, penyakit malu adalah lemah, penyakit mulia adalah menyombongkan diri, penyakit kaya adalah kikir, penyakit royal adalah hidup mewah dan penyakit agama adalah nafsu yang diperturutkan..."

Ketika berwasiat kepada Ali bin Abi Thalib r.a, Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: "Wahai Ali, orang yang riak itu mempunyai tiga ciri iaitu:

1. Rajin beribadat ketika dilihat orang.

2. Malas ketika sendirian.

3. Ingin mendapat pujian dalam segala perkara.

Wahai Ali, jika engkau dipuji orang, maka berdoalah: "Ya Allah, jadikanlah diriku lebih baik daripada yang dikatakannya, ampunilah dosa-dosaku yang tersembunyi darinya dan janganlah kata-katanya mengakibatkan seksaan bagiku..."

Ketika ditanya bagaimana cara mengubati hati yang sedang resah dan gundah gulana, Ibnu Mas'ud r.a berkata: "Dengarkanlah bacaan al-Quran atau datanglah ke majlis zikir atau pergilah ke tempat yang sunyi untuk berkhalwat dengan Allah s.w.t.

Jika belum terubat juga, maka mintalah kepada Allah s.w.t hati yang lain kerana sesungguhnya hati yang kamu pakai bukan lagi hatimu...."


Friday, June 6, 2008

minyak oh minyak!

Nope. I'm not commenting on the oil price. There are lots of other places for you to read about that. Just wanna share this video i found in YouTube. It's simply hilarious.
Happy days everyone. :)

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Gross Human Anatomy

hehe... found this website about human anatomy...
full of weird words which gives little meaning to me...
is this what i'll be learning later?? hurmmm... scary.

But it's kinda fun though (not the names of course). As there are some explanation accompanying the weird pictures. therefore, for my friends who're too bored or too tired of playing games got nothing better to do during the holidays, why not take a peek?? might help u later on... u never know.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

cherished day or dreaded day?? I'm 20 : ) : ( ?

Birthday is a happy day for most of us I'm sure. But there's always two sides of a story...

-Another complete year has passed since my birth... Another year less for me to live in this world.

-I'm getting older, I'll get more 'legal' stuffs to do (e.g. driving)... I'm getting older, so I'll have more responsibilities, am I prepared to be asked about it in the hereafter?

-I lived another year... A year passed by, which is not changeable, did I spend it wisely?

-A longer life... a shorter one?

The most intelligent people among you are the ones who always remember death and prepares to face it.

Know ye (all), that the life of this world is but play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting and multiplying, (in rivalry) among yourselves, riches and children. Here is a similitude: How rain and the growth which it brings forth, delight (the hearts of) the tillers; soon it withers; thou wilt see it grow yellow; then it becomes dry and crumbles away. But in the Hereafter is a Penalty severe (for the devotees of wrong). And Forgiveness from Allah and (His) Good Pleasure (for the devotees of Allah). And what is the life of this world, but goods and chattels of deception?

Al-Qur'an, 057.020 (Al-Hadid [The Iron])

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Miss them so much ^_^

Here's a picture of my with my classmates and our beloved chem teacher in MARA College Banting. M06L.

From left,
Standing: Adeq, Wan Farah, Akma, Qilah, Izzah, Apek, Arul, Nian, Juwe, Francis, Wannard, Manman, Me,Stuart, Remy.
Seated: Fadhil, Muyih, C Fauziah, Farah, Mina.

Diana Ross - If We Hold On Together

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

What I've Done?

holidays... I've been playing games...
I'm planning on doing something more beneficial though. Like reading A Level Biology book... Think it'll help me later on.
But knowing me, I'm not the kind of person who can't really study alone... I need someone to be a catalyst... hahaha. But I'll try my best.
I know that I should learn to rely on myself to move on ahead...
But humans are engineered to be weak, and needs each other's support and help.

Well well... my 20th birthday is coming.. have to come up with something to make myself a better person. A new resolution...

13 wasiat Rasulullah kepada Ali

RASULULLAH SAW ada menyampaikan pesanan dan wasiat kepada isteri, anak, kaum kerabat dan umat Islam seluruhnya. Namun antara wasiat yang menarik dan boleh dijadikan bahan renungan bersama ialah wasiatnya kepada menantu baginda, Saidina Ali Abu Talib.

Sungguhpun wasiat itu khusus kepada Ali, namun kita sebagai Muslim dan muslimah, perlu menjadikannya sebagai iktibar lalu menjadikannya amalan.

Larangan dan suruhan Rasulullah saw melalui wasiat itu, adalah juga untuk kaum Muslimin dan muslimat. Malah, boleh dikatakan semua perkara dalam wasiat itu adalah ciri-ciri utama orang beriman.

Berikut adalah antara wasiat Nabi kepada Ali seperti yang diriwayatkan oleh Ibnu Abbas:

Ibnu Abbas meriwayatkan, bahawa Ali Abu Talib berkata: "Pada hari perkahwinan dengan Fatimah,
Rasulullah saw bersabda kepadaku, mengutarakan tiga belas wasiat khusus untukku:"

1. Wahai Ali, takutilah engkau daripada memasuki tempat mandi (hammam) tanpa memakai kain separas pinggang. Bahawasanya barang siapa memasuki tempat mandi tanpa kain
separas pinggang, maka dia mendapat laknat (mal'un).

2. Wahai Ali, janganlah engkau ‘memakai cincin di jari telunjuk dan di jari tengah'. Sesungguhnya itu adalah apa yang dilakukan oleh kaum Lut.

3. Wahai Ali, sesungguhnya Allah mengagumi hamba-Nya yang melafazkan istighfar: "Rabighfirli fainnahu la yaghfirul-zunuba illa Anta" ( Tuhanku, ampunilah aku. Sesungguhnya tiada yang mengampunkan dosa melainkan Engkau). Allah lalu berfirman: "Hai malaikat-Ku,sesungguhnya hamba-Ku ini mengetahui bahawasanya tiada yang mengampunkan dosa melainkan Aku. Hai malaikat-Ku: Jadilah saksi, bahawasanya aku telah mengampuni dia".

4. Wahai Ali, takutilah engkau daripada berdusta. Bahawasanya berdusta itu menghitamkan muka dan disuratkan oleh Allah sebagai kazzab (pendusta). Dan, bahawasanya benar itu memutihkan muka dan disuratkan oleh Allah sebagai sadiq. Ketahuilah engkau, bahawasanya sidq (benar) itu berkat dan kizb (dusta) itu celaka.

5. Wahai Ali, peliharalah diri engkau daripada mengumpat dan mengadu-dumba. Bahawasanya orang berbuat demikian itu diwajibkan ke atasnya seksaan kubur dan menjadi penghalang kepadanya di pintu syurga.

6. Wahai Ali, janganlah engkau bersumpah dengan nama Allah, sama ada dusta atau benar, kecuali dalam keadaan darurat, dan janganlah jadikan Allah permainan sumpah engkau. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak menyucikan dan tidak mengasihani orang yang bersumpah dusta dengan nama-Nya.

7. Wahai Ali, janganlah engkau mencita-citakan rezeki untuk hari esok. Bahawasanya Allah mendatangkan rezeki engkau setiap hari.

8. Wahai Ali, takutilah engkau daripada berbantah-bantah dan berkelahi dengan maki-hamun dan sumpah-seranah. Bahawasanya perbuatan itu pada awalnya jahil dan pada akhirnya penyesalan.

9. Wahai Ali, sentiasalah engkau bersugi dan mencolek (mencungkil) gigi. Bahawasanya bersugi itu menyucikan mulut, mencerahkan mata dan diredai Allah, manakala mencolek gigi itu dikasihi malaikat kerana malaikat amat tidak senang dengan bau mulut kerana sisa-sisa makanan di celah gigi tidak dicolek selepas makan.

10. Wahai Ali, janganlah engkau melayani rasa marah.Apabila timbul rasa marah, duduklah engkau dan fikirkanlah mengenai kekuasaan dan kesabaran Allah Taala ke atas hamba-Nya. Pertahankah diri engkau daripada dikuasai kemarahan dan kembalilah engkau kepada kesabaran.

11. Wahai Ali, perhitungkanlah (tahassub) kurniaan Allah yang telah engkau nafkahkan untuk diri engkau dan keluarga engkau, nescaya engkau peroleh peruntukan daripada Allah.

12. Wahai Ali, apa yang engkau benci pada diri engkau, maka engkau bencikan juga pada diri saudara engkau dan apa yang engkau kasih pada diri engkau maka engkau kasihkan juga pada diri saudara engkau, yakni engkau hendaklah berlaku adil dalam memberi hukuman. Dengan itu, engkau dikasihi seluruh isi langit dan bumi.

13. Wahai Ali, perbaikkanlah perhubungan di antara penduduk (jiran) sekampung dan antara ahli rumah engkau. Hiduplah dengan mereka sekaliannya dengan rasa persahabatan dan kekeluargaan, nescaya disuratkan darjat yang tinggi bagi engkau.

Wahai Ali, peliharakanlah pesananku (wasiatku). Engkau akan peroleh kemenangan dan kelepasan. InsyaAllah

Islam pada awalnya asing dan akan kembali terasing, maka berbahagialah kiranya bagi yang terasing.

Monday, May 26, 2008

A World Without Guns and Gunpowders, Rocket Propelled Grenades, Bazookas, Landmines, Fighter Jets, Aircraft Carrier, Submarines, Atomic Bombs, Nuclear

I intended to write a longer title, but i believes there's a limit to the title's length =_=".

Why do people study medicine, nursing, or any other field related to health and saving lives, while there are others who wage war among our own species. Oddly enough, some groups value human lives while at the same time, there are warmonger among us, who promotes killing and destroying of human lives as if it's something of no value.

Why do humans, who claim to be the best creation and smartest of all species (found on earth) cannot even value each other's life? Are we really smarter than animals, or it is just us being so full of ourselves?

We know that animals sometimes fight one another to get their necessities. It is a shame that we humans, who can talk and communicate with one another to get to a resolution have to resort to the same violent act of savages. Why can't we all live together and look after one another, instead of being selfish...

Let's all play our parts in restoring peace and order in our "habitat". :) :) :) Wouldn't it be great if we can one day flip the newspaper in the morning, only to read news of all the positive things that can be found in life, instead of news about cold-blooded murders, child abductions, heists, robberies, mugs, and so on. I know it sounds like an utopia, but why not? Everything starts with a dream...


Friday, May 23, 2008

the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning?

I survived International Baccalaureate programme, and so do my 300-odd friends. Today marks the last day I spend as a student in MCB (MARA College Banting). And today is also the first day I'm posting.

Yup, as time passes by, we are constantly experiencing changes in life. We meet people to leave them one day. We make friends knowing that we would go on our saperate ways in the end. C'est la vie. Life goes on and we make new friends, while holding on to the old ones.

Well, that's all for now. Thanks to all the other MCBians (teachers included) who made the past two years of my life there a cherishable one. :)

By the way, I'm hoping to read Medicine at Leeds in few month's time. Hope my IB exam result will not disappoint me. Let's all pray for our success...
Related Posts with Thumbnails