Alah Bisa Tegal Binasa?

Bila aku buat benda yang sama selalu, ia jadi kebiasaan. Kebiasaan ini bagus, amat baik untuk menambah kualiti dan keberkesanan suatu pekerjaan. Kerja jadi cepat bila sudah biasa, dan yang susah pun jadi mudah bila sudah biasa.

Tapi kebiasaan ini mengubah. Dulu aku malu-malu hendak berbicara dengan pesakit. Dengan lidah Melayu ini mahu mengungkap kata pun sering kali salah. Bunyi pelik, kadang-kadang mat-mat dan minah-minah saleh ini tak faham. walaupun aku faham jek. Tapi dengan selalu buat ia jadi kebiasaan, aku lebih yakin, lebih tenang. Tapi ini perubahan yang bagus dengan adanya kebiasaan.

Yang membimbangkan, ialah kebiasaan yang membawa kebinasaan. Dulu bila aku lihat mayat aku teringat mati. Bila lihat orang sakit aku teringat nikmat sihat ini. Tapi dengan kebiasaan kesannya makin kurang. Alah bisa tegal biasa, kata orang. Tapi aku bimbang kerana keteringatan kepada mati dan mengingati nikmatnya sihat ini penting.

Lalu aku berfikir-fikir. Apa lagi ya? Kebiasaan yang membinasakan? Lihat sahaja sekelilingmu!

Surat khabar yang asyik dijadikan lapik untuk makan lama-kelamaan akan merasa dirinya sebagai lapik dan bukan surat khabar. Bila sesuatu jadi biasa rasa bersalah hilang. Dalam membuat sesuatu yang salah, dan dalam membuat perkara betul dngan cara yang salah. So, kalau terbuat salah sekali, cepat-cepat la berhenti. Memang bukan mudah, tapi cubalah.

Dan kebiasaan juga dalam dunia pelik ini, perkara yang umum tahu benar, bila diluah mampu mengundang maki. Biarlah, semoga dengan usaha ini, akan ada orang yang juga berusaha membantu aku, bila aku tenggelam dalam perangkap kebiasaan. Semoga hadirnya hati dan akal dalam setiap perbuatan kita, menjadikan rutin dan kebiasaan itu lebih berkualiti dan dihayati.

(One of) My Love Story

It started out small,
A mere fleck in a dark hall,
At that time you seemed so far away,
Unreachable, unapproachable, untouchable.

Then the fleck grew larger,
As days went by as life becomes harder,
I had to decide one way or another,
Do I commit, or let it go forever.

A few years passed and I am still here,
The fleck is now a blazing fire,
I am so into you, that I am sure,
Until the end, I shall be here.

Although at times you are cruel to me,
Draining every bit that I have in me,
Energy, time, my heart and soul,
Sometimes I felt like turning away and go.

You forced me to stay awake at night,
You made my head feel like exploding sometimes,
At times you made me feel sickly and ill,
Tears and sweats and aching back,

But in the end, it was I,
Who chose to and not turn away,
But the satisfaction from you,
indescribable.

I know I'm still of of your youngest lover,
Many more has been, and many still is,
We pledge our time, energy and life,
For the lives of others, if Allah wills it.

-to Medicine, from the love of your life~

Hidup masing2 kan?

Pelik kadang2 tanpa segan silu,
aku "announce" kat semua orang benda salah yang aku buat,
dan orang dan aku sendiri akan saling komen dan berborak pasal tu,
macam perkara biasa,
"or" orang lain akan buat tak tau,
walaupun terang2 aku buat salah,
mungkin kata mereka dan kata aku,
hidup masing2, pandai2lah...

Kadang2 pula bila aku buat benda baik dan betul,
dan aku sure benda tu baik dan betul,
tapi pula aku menyorok2 dari orang,
dan orang pon menyorok2 dari aku,
kemudian aku dan orang lain juga bercakap jika tahu,
dengan nada sinis,
mungkin bagi aku dan sesetengah orang,
siapa yang buat baik mesti hipokrit,
tapi hidup masing2 kan? pandai2lah...

oh, aku pun pernah dipanggil hipokrit,
dan aku juga pernah panggil orang lain hipokrit,
yang pada hakikatnya,
tiada manusia tahu isi hati yang lain,
dan hanya yang menilai itu, jika seorang manusia,
hanyalah nilaian manusia sahaja.

maka rugilah saya,
jika orang ajak buat baik,
saya tolak,
dan terang2an saya hebahkan,
yang saya bukan orang baik,
dan saya tak mahu diajak buat benda baik.


jangan nanti sampai satu masa,
Allah tak hantar dah orang2 begini untuk ajak aku buat baik,
sebab dah banyak kali Allah hantar,
dan buka peluang untuk aku berubah dan bertambah baik,
tapi aku buat deeek je,
aku buat tak tau,
aku buat suka aku, hidup masing2 kan?

Namun pesan nabi: “Tidak beriman seorang daripada kamu sehingga dia mengasihi saudaranya seperti mana dia mengasihi dirinya sendiri.”

Sahih Al-Bukhari: 12

apa pon,

semua orang ada naluri untuk buat baik,

dan jadi baik,

cuma mungkin dah terlalu biasa,

atau mungkin belum sampai seru,

bak kata orang selalu,

cuma takut2,

mati sampai dulu sebelum seru.

Epal di jalanan

Test drive blogger apps iOS. Tgk la gamba epal nih...

p/s: atas tu bukan langit gelap, tapi jari gelap... haha.

Saat Ini.

Aku duduk termenung...

Sengaja kubiarkan fikiran ini melayang jauh-jauh. Ke masa hadapan... Yang kadang terasa dekat amat, dan kali lain pula seakan cuma mimpi yang tak tergapai. Aku mahu jadi orang tersohor, bergaji paling kurang lima angka, berumahkan istana idaman berkereta bagak mendabik dada berjalan di tengak awam. Kerana pentingnya aku seorang insan yang sangat signifikan dalam masyarakat. Muka hadapan akhbar saban hari seperti album gambar peribadiku.

Lalu fikiran ini membuat aku gentar. Bagaimana jika berlaku sesuatu di tengah jalan, tak terduga tak bertanda. Muncul menghancur cita, merobek mimpi-mimpi indah masa yang bakal. Wah, menarik! Aku takut kehilangan perkara yang belum pasti pun kan kukecap. WAJARKAH AKU MENCARI-CARI BERMIMPI KESENANGAN AKAN DATANG?

Boleh jadi saja satu apapun yang kuangan-angankan tak jadi milikku. Mungkin sebelum langsung ketermenungan ini jantungku tak lagi berdegup.


Aku duduk termenung mengenang kisah silam. Salah silapku yang tak terkira. Ratusan ribu hati yang terguris terluka dek pancungan lidah tanpa panduan akal. Berapa tubuh yang menderita penangan kaki tanganku yang tak mengenal ihsan bila merah segalanya dek api marah dendam iri hati tak berkesudahan. Siapalah aku untuk merubah semua ini. Layakkah aku bergelar insan baik-baik yang kadang-kadang hilang muncul didepan belakangku. Mungkinkah keinginan ini untuk berubah hanya alasan sekali lagi mainan mindaku sendiri untuk memperbodohkan diri ini yang selalu tertipu dengan air mata palsu. Esok akan kubuat lagi. MANA AKHIRNYA? Perubahan itu wujudkah dan bolehkah?


Lalu kusedar masa ini detik ini ketika ini, ini saja yang mampu kukerah kudratku untuk bertindak. Kuarah mindaku untuk berfikir. Kudesak hatiku untuk sabar dan ikhlas. Hati dan diri liar ini jika tidak kuikat dengan panduan lembaran Sang Pencipta, nescaya akan teruuuussss jauh, dan jauh. Yang lalu usah dikenang berlebih-lebihan. Yang bakal tiba usah dirisau melampau-lampau. Sehingga hilang sedar jalan bengkok yang kulalui ini tersasar dari kebenaran kehendak kemahuan kehidupan sebenar. Mana jalannya? Mana jalan-Nya?

Keluarga, rakan, sahabat seperjuangan. Selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin. Dari diri yang lemah ini semoga kita temui jalan-Nya.

What's Life to You?

Life as I see it, is a chain of events arranged to create a story. A story that can be remembered or looked backed upon, but can never be relived or repeated. The flow just moves on and on without me being able to control what happens and which way it'll go. Well, maybe I do have a say to a certain extend on which route it takes and decisions that I make, but still most of them are out of my control.

Even the decisions that I made, was made without really knowing what will happen afterwards. The future will just come as it may. There're just too many uncertainties to look at it from afar and be a mastermind of my own life and control the outcomes to my liking. It just won't happen. Well that's what I think.

How about you?

Revolusion

No, this post a not about overthrowing government, or creating chaos, or upholding a new belief or idea. This post is about Ramadhan Revolution. A journey to revolutionise our mind and body. InsyaAllah in a few days the month of Ramadhan is starting. Are we ready? Am I ready? Will this year be different from the past years? Is Ramadhan this time around going to be filled with beneficial activities to rejuvenate our minds and souls? To purify our hearts?

Pray to Allah that we will be able to meet the month of Ramadhan and make full use of its presence. As a muslim, what other time there is to change for the better? When everyone around you will strive to maximise the use of time for ibadah and purifying our hearts?

Have you ever thought of changing a bad habit that you have? Now is the time.

Don't you think it's time to move the Quran from the shelves to our tongue and hearts? Now is the time.

Have you been longing to stop excessively waste time on games, computers, hanging out, comics, shopping, etc? Now is the time.

Are you a smoker? You know what I'm about to say... Now is the time.

Want to lose a few kilos? Now is the time.

Whatever we want to do to improve ourselves... NOW IS THE TIME. It may not be easy, but there's  no harm in trying. For a muslim should always strive to be better :).

But in the end. The success in Ramadhan does not only depends on what we are able to do and perform during the month, but how we are able to change what we do in the other 11 months afterwards, before the coming of the next Ramadhan (insyaAllah).

May Allah gives us strength to achieve what we want from this month which is full of barakah.

End of Year 3

Alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah...
The highest and enormous praise to Allah, as He is the master of all sevants and without Him and His mercy I would certainly not be here where I am today, and you will not be there in front of the computer reading this humble post.

Yesterday the results of my final exams for my 3rd year of Medicine came out, and I passed my exams. Finishing this project I'm currently working on will mark the end of this chapter of my life as a 3rd year medical student in Leeds.

Congratulations to all who managed to achieve what they intended to get, who passed and also those who tried their best but Allah had different plans for them, and tests them more. Hopefully in whichever situation we are in, we will manage to get the best out of it, as the prophet Muhammad SAW said;

“Sangat mengagumkan kepada seorang mukmin, sebab segala keadaannya untuk ia sangat baik, dan tidak mungkin terjadi demikian kecuali bagi seorang mukmin: jika mendapat nikmat ia bersyukur, maka syukur itu sangat baik baginya dan bila menderita kesusahan ia bersabar, maka sabar itu lebih baik baginya.” (Hadis riwayat Muslim)

Why are you not choosing?

Rasulullah SAW said:
"Each of you is leader and every one of you will be asked about his leadership. Imam is a leader and will be asked about his leadership, husband is a leader and will be asked about his leadership, women leaders in her home and will be asked about hes leadership, those with wealth is the leader of the property entrusted to him and he will be asked about his leadership. Each of you is leader and you will be asked about your leadership. " (Hadis Riwayat al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Daud, al-Tirmizi dan Ahmad)

I'm 23. The 'included' age (in term of voting in Malaysia). Where my views matter in the choosing of leaders of Malaysia. The power to vote is entrusted upon my shoulder and thousands other peers. I am excited and looking forward to actually vote if I have the chance to. It is a big responsibility to vote. Especially when you vote with awareness of the actual issues and awareness of what each sides have to offer to the country, not just by taking in what the media asks you to vote, or what your parents are voting. We are given the right to do it, because we are deemed to have the capacity to weigh up all the pros and cons, and really make an "informed consent" on who should be leading our belover country.

No this post is not intended to be in favour of any particular political party. As I believe there are enough blogs out there to read about those kind of things, where is even sometimes gets so messy that I can't even comprehend what the actually have in mind. Or it might just be me who thought that writers should have something, an idea of some sort to share with the readers and not merely degrading others in their writings. Sadly it's not always the case.


It strikes me that being in the allowed age to vote, some of my peers actually said that they are not going to register as voters. Why? I really don't get it. This is not meant for any particular person if you think I'm talking about someone specific. Nope, this is a general disscussion.

->some say there's no point in doing so. I say there are thousands if not millions of points to do so. Like it or not the government is the conductor who orchestrate most, if not all that happens around you. From the prices to the policies on education, healthcare, foreign relation, your freedom, rights, etc.

->some say politic's 'dirty', so choosing to be 'clean' therefore plies having to do anything with it, be it to the merest voting. I say politics is just the system put into place. The perception or facade of a system is based on the people in it, and on how they choose to play their roles in it. Not having your say just mean that you don't even get a say on who plays on the field. So stop complaining of it being dirty if you can't even care enough to open your mouth and name those who can actually try and 'clean' it.

->some say they couldn't care less. Well i think they should. You are a chip of the massive component in the country. who can choose. So you should choose what is best, with an informed choice. And I'm not saying it is only 1 side that is exclusively and undoubtedly right. YOU are right, and whoever you choose based on what you believe and what you see.

but after it ends, and after the election and the leaders are named. Do your best to be part of the country, not part of the party that you rooted for. At the end of the day, it is still our beloved country that needs to move forward and achieve developments, whoever is in the cockpit.

AND, what I say is just what I believe, please do not be offended. You can offer your thoughts if you don't agree with me, and we can agree to disagree but still smile at each others. And my views may seem naive~ well I'm 23. You should get my entry level insights...

3rd Placement for 3rd Year Finish

oh well, oh well... it felt like it was just not long ago that I entered medical school. Now I'm already approaching the end of my 3rd year.~ time sure flies.

Tomorrow's the final day of my placement in surgery at Harrogate District Hospital. Next come the Practice OSCE, then another 5 weeks placement (with Easter holiday in the middle), then it's the final OSCE and Integrated exam (which I have yet to start revising for).

Meanwhile, there's 2 essays to finish up by the end of this month.
That's what's going on with me, thanks for listening dear diary. LOL

oh, this is a neverending journey that I signed up for! Sometimes it just sucked me dry that can't even bother to smile when I arrive home. Well that's life for you, you choose a path and get on with it.

flowers!

make my day. put smile on my face. chase away the sadness. chase away the hate.

now that's an optimistic sight. after the months of leafless trees and dull, birdless sky. the sun is staying for a tad longer every day...

make my day, make my day.

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What to do on the Roads. MSIA vs UK :)

Readers, with this post I intend to show how imperative it is to act differently on the same situation in different parts of the world...

1) Letting pedestrians to cross...

Situation:You see someone trying to cross the road, which has quite a number of car. Just the right number to not cause a traffic jam, but everyone's moving quite fast so the pedestrian trying to cross the road can't get any free opening long enough to cross.

What should you do?

Msia: Act normally. try not to show any sign of guilt. Probably try to make sure the pedestrian cannot run and cross the road in front of your car.
UK: Slow down your vehicle a bit, slowly creating an opening in front of you. Then flash your light towards the pedestrian to say, "cross now, I've made an opening for you". If you're feeling particularly happy on that day, you can smile to the pedestrian as well, (s)he'll probably smile back and you'll both feel a warm feeling inside. :P

2) Giving way...
Situation: When you find yourself in the car at a congested junction due to a faulty traffic light, and you lane is moving while the other lane is stopped waiting for their turn to move.

What should you do?

Msia: DO NOT try to give way for vehicles from the other lanes to move. This will likely result in your lane having to stop and wait almost indefinitely for someone as good-hearted as you to let you lane
UK: DO give way for vehicles from the other lanes to move. This will likely result in everyone taking turns to move between your lane and the other. So the ones who were there earlier can move first, and those who came later can also pass through the junction, but a bit later. A smile or a thank you gesture by showing you palm to the person who's letting you pass is an added bonus.

3) Queueing-up...
Situation: You were coming up to a long queue in front of a traffic light during rush hour.

What should you do?

Msia: Try to look for opening on the side of the queue. And think about yourself and how important it is for you to be home in time. Go to the opening and wait there, making and obliviously innocent face. If there's someone else with you, you might consider talking to them so that you won't have any possibility to get eye contact with the person in the queue that you are trying to cut in front of.
UK: Go to the end of the queue. Think about yourself and how important it is for you to be home on time. Also think about the others who arrived at the queue earlier and waited for their turn. So you wait for yours as it is the fair thing to do.

4) Traffic congestion...
Situation: The cars are moving slower than snails due to the overwhelming number of vehicles in an absurdly small road. You see a free lane at the side of the road.

What should you do?

Msia: See the free lane as a window of opportunity. It's going to help you move faster. At the same time, there will be less car occupying the road, therefore, less congestion. Although there is almost a certainty that you will cause more congestion in front when you have to cut in front of someone, but it's a price worth taking . Having these twisted reality in mind, now drive your car through the emergency lane at the side, with a good intention that you're doing your part in helping to reduce the congestion. Smiling proudly as you do it :).
UK: See the space at the side of the road as an emergency space saved for anyone who might need to stop. Stay in your lane and wait for your turn. Without anyone trying to cut in further down the lane, the congestion do not a static. And everyone gets a fair amount of time in the traffic jam.

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said :

"On every person's joints or small bones (i.e. fingers and toes), there is sadaqah (charity) every day the sun rises. Doing justice between two people is sadaqah; assisting a man to mount his animal, or lifting up his belongings onto it is sadaqah; a good word is sadaqah; every step you take towards prayer is sadaqah; and removing harmful things from pathways is sadaqah."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Blood and life

********************************

Today, I managed to draw some blood from a patient. I tried once before, but didn't really go according to plan . I missed the vein somehow, TWICE! Poor lady~ but i apologised profusely, of course and she seemed to be fine with it.

Blood, some people become queezy at the sight of it. Me? I'm, OK I guess. Even before starting medicine I used to look at the needle they stick into my arm to take blood.



Can I interest you readers to ponder on how magnificent the creation of blood is. Seemed like a pretty simple concept, some kind of fluid that runs in some vessels around the body. Imagine if its not fluid... well, even a tiny clot can cause severe consequences. What if it's in the form of gas? I think it won't be suffice to bring all the little bits of things around the body:
oxygen
carbon dioxide
...
ok, I'm gonna stop at that coz it'll take ages to list them all down

In summary, it's a super massive transport system. Where oxygen from the air we breathe are utilise in each and every living cells in the body. Nutrients from things we eat transferred to be used, or stored accordingly. Hormones from all sorts of places goes to the right place where they affect all sorts of things. And all sorts of other stuffs.

At-Tin, (95):4 We have certainly created man in the best of stature;

It's interesting how little bits of things can be an indicator when something's not quite right. I was awed at the number of things that blood can actually tell me about a human, about the organs, and the state of the body.

subhanAllah, these big wonders in little things are so easy to be missed. Come to think of it, this red fluid is so vital to life. Cut of the supply to your brain or heart, and that's it.

If anything, studying medicine has taught me how complex a human body is. How each and every part interacts with each others. Probably some of you guys can already appreciate it without even having to study it or learn about it. Well I didn't, not to the extend that amazes me how an entity this perfect can be made, can be created.

spontaneous? like some people like to think of it. REALLY? There's probably a higher chance of a Blackberry to be 'spontaneously' created than a man to.

give me one of the best creation of a human. iPhone maybe? or spaceships, perhaps? Well I'm not going to start a debate on what is the human's greatest invention. But I intend to pose a question for us all, do you see any of it alive? moving and breathing and have the will of their own?

see how far superior a human is compared to what he can create... and appreciate that everything a human created have a purpose.

then imagine how far the gap, and how minutely inferior a human is to his Creator? Don't you think WE also have a purpose to have been created and given life?

Az-Zariyat, (51): 56. And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.

Al-Baqarah, (2): 30. And, when your Lord said to the angels, "Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority (khalifah)." They said, "Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we declare Your praise and sanctify You?" Allah said, "Indeed, I know that which you do not know."

Those two verse from the Quran show the purpose of a human. And thousands others gives the details of what to do, what to avoid, how to live our lives, and stories to take lessons from. Indeed Quran is a mukjizat, revealed more than a thousand years ago, yet it is still relevant, and will always be relevant. For those seeking the truth, and the true way of life

~how many of men's words have we read... are we just gonna leave GOD's words in the Quran?

Just starting the fun bit of Medicine...

yeah, I'm a medical student. 3rd year now. starting the fun bits (and the distressing bits also) :-D

despite what others might say, i actually can still find some time to chill. but then, it's probably why i usually kept quiet every time my consultant asks about something... but then i think it happens to everyone. well i certainly hope so.

but there are always others who know the answer to the questions, and all i can do was hmm, i think ive learnt about there some time in the past... oh well.

and its the moment when the consultant picks you from the group and ask you to do an examination in front of the group, that's the precious moment. when your sweat glands suddenly feels the urge to work more. and you're suddenly drench in sweat. well at least that happens to me, all the time.

it's the moments. some moments make you think why in the world am i doing this! some answers the question right back. and in these moments that you truly found the real meaning.

its the moment

when you wear your stethoscope and hear the patient's chest. and you know there's something to hear. but you just can't convince yourself that it's there...

when you say whatever's on your mind. like "the pulse is strong". (then muttered something under your breath which sounds like "i don't really know"). then the consultant checks and say something totally opposite.

when you think you know it by reading the (piles of) books. but when the real thing is in front of you and you we're bombarded with multiple findings due to multiple problems, that's the moment when you reassure yourself that you're a 3rd year, and you shouldn't know anything... I wonder how long that excuse will last for XD

learning is just fun. and when it's medicine. you ought to try your best. but well, the truth is however best is your best it just wont be enough... just dont be so hard on yourself when you dont know something. there's just too many i guess...

its funny how they taught us all the medical jargons before this, and now in hospitals we're asked not to use it when talking to patients...well it's ENGRAVED!!! haha. now i have to cement on them all over again~ haih¬

Angry Bird ... and some lessons beyond~

I'm quite sure probably some of you guys won't be familiar with this game called Angry Bird. Simple yet addictive, this game can keep people staring at a small phone screens in order to defeat the group of green pigs who stole the birds' eggs.

Just stating some blindingly obvious (and some ridiculous) facts about the game:

-the pigs are GREEN... yeah. green. not really a popular well known colour for pigs.

-the pigs are really advanced in civil engineering and I think some of them are architects. They made their forts with style. They do look more learned than the birds who can only make slingshots (and shoot themselves using it) to attack them.

-the birds, despite being called birds... HAVE NO WINGS. so instead they have to rely on massive slingshots to help them 'fly' towards the pig's fortified hiding places.

-despite being so angry at the pigs who stole their eggs, the white bird can use the eggs as WEAPON...

ok... enough of that :)

from the game, we can see that seeking revenge and being angry can't always solve problems. so I'd like to give a few notes to myself and others. Hopefully we think of these things while we have fun bombarding the pigs' fortresses :D

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, who said : a man said to the prophet : "Counsel me". He said : " Do not become angry". The man repeated [his request] several times, and he said: "Do not become angry ". (Narrated by Bukhari)

Al-Baqarah, 2:153. O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.

2:45 And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah].

Let's change!